lulu1974

My coworker told me I look so much happier at work lately. She told me I seem much happier since I announced I am getting divorced. She made me realize I have been there for 3 years and barely made any effort to talk to anyone and I think many people thought I was a snob. I told her the truth..I just tried to make it through the day most days and then I went home to drunken archie on the couch at the end of the day. This woman is a real hard arse and hearing her say this to me and we are getting along so well and work seems so much more bearable.

Today I had to cut someone out that was bad for me. Too bad as I had a fun time with him but he crossed 2 boundries and I was done and nicely told him so. He was shocked but I didnt offer an explanation and realized I dont need too. I suspect he is an addict too. Shocking I know.

These things are really hard to do for me. Its hard to come out of your comfort zone but my coworker is right, I am happy. Dont get me wrong..I have my weak days. I realized I dont talk to my parents that much anymore because they too are bad for me right now. They arent very supportive so right now I am trying to surround myself with healthy people.

I still think of my stbxah everyday but when I have a good thought, I can come up with 3 horrible things he did right off the top of my head. Its a healing process.

I dont really go to Alanon anymore and I hope I am not hurting myself by not going. So far so good. I never thought leaving him would be such a good idea. I couldnt imagine my life without him. I couldnt imagine being alone and surviving. I couldnt imagine starting over at 35. But I am alone now and fine with it. I am surviving well and making new friends and taking better care of myself. I even put makeup on for work now! I take pride in what I wear. If I meet someone and have kids great, if not then so be it. I am learning to manage on my own just fine.

Just an update.

Hugs
Lulu

coyote21

Very nice.



Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote

Jadmack25

Sounds good my dear, and coming out of the shell you moved around in while with him, has shown what a big world is out there for you.
Good also in recognising who is and isn't ok or right for you, and taking action to prevent problems in future.

As for 3 horrible things about your ex to be, are they the same ones or do you grab 3 out of many? The same ones can get boring and lose their potency after a while, but going thru a collection can push home why you are out of his way now.

By the way, 35 is really you just coming into your best years, so go for it and grab every opportunity with outstretched arms.

God bless

HealingWillCome

Lulu, you sound great! Congratulations on all your milestones.

coffeedrinker

ssooooooo, so wonderful, lulu.

isn't it AMAZING how that happens?



a couple of weeks ago, people - casual acquaintances in the workplace and such - started telling me i looked great - or happy - too. hmm. does that mean i looked like crap when i was completely stressed every. single. minute. because of xabf?

guess so.

Jadmack25

I wonder when told, "you look so good", just how bad did I look before?
But when someone tells me, "you still look just the same", and it is 20 years since they saw me, I feel like asking, "did I look this old then?" Never been game enough in case they answer "yes".

Let's face it, stress and worry can age you. A's positively drench us in stress and we worry every damn minute about every damn thing....so you bet we can look as crappy as we often FELT. I say felt cause that is past tense where I am concerned. No more wrinkles caused by someone elses actions for me, thanks but no thanks.

God bless