Contact and Relapse....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Little Rock, Arkansas
Posts: 161
Contact and Relapse....
I was going good! No contact at all for two and a half months..and then I allowed it to happen.
It started with a phone call at 3:18am. I have my XAGF on call block, both with texting and phone calls. Why I listened to the damn message, I can only say that I relapsed. I allowed myself to believe her message and I payed for it!
I had been too busy to go to my Al Anon meetings and had not been in 2 weeks, maybe a bit longer. When they say the program only works if you work it, it is the absolute truth.
She had left a message that she had been physically abused by the new victim and wanted to return to her rehab place. Over the course of two days she contacted her rehab and made arrangements. I thought I was being constructive in helping her get back, and that she was telling me the truth.
What eventually happened was, as I was taking her to her rehab, she was texting the new victim. She told him that I kidnapped her and was holding her against her will. He had been following us the whole way. I never knew it, I felt like a complete fool, the same feeling that I had when I first came here to SR and when I walked into my first Al Anon meeting.
I took her stuff in and told her I would talk to her later. Minutes after I left, the new victim pulled in picked her up, and because of the BS she was telling him, he called 911 and accused me of kidnapping or so he said. I cannot take the risk of whether this report was filed or not, as I work in a business that requires frequent background checks.
I swear I thought I had seen it all. I know this was my fault for not following my own set boundaries, for missing Al Anon meetings because I thought I could do it, and I can see how vulnerable I actually am and to try my very best to protect myself.
Ashamed yes, but after the stories I have heard of her escapades over the past 3 weeks, I can honestly say that I am one of the few people that crossed her path that may have escaped with the least damage.
I am calling my sponsor next. I feel like a dumb##!
It started with a phone call at 3:18am. I have my XAGF on call block, both with texting and phone calls. Why I listened to the damn message, I can only say that I relapsed. I allowed myself to believe her message and I payed for it!
I had been too busy to go to my Al Anon meetings and had not been in 2 weeks, maybe a bit longer. When they say the program only works if you work it, it is the absolute truth.
She had left a message that she had been physically abused by the new victim and wanted to return to her rehab place. Over the course of two days she contacted her rehab and made arrangements. I thought I was being constructive in helping her get back, and that she was telling me the truth.
What eventually happened was, as I was taking her to her rehab, she was texting the new victim. She told him that I kidnapped her and was holding her against her will. He had been following us the whole way. I never knew it, I felt like a complete fool, the same feeling that I had when I first came here to SR and when I walked into my first Al Anon meeting.
I took her stuff in and told her I would talk to her later. Minutes after I left, the new victim pulled in picked her up, and because of the BS she was telling him, he called 911 and accused me of kidnapping or so he said. I cannot take the risk of whether this report was filed or not, as I work in a business that requires frequent background checks.
I swear I thought I had seen it all. I know this was my fault for not following my own set boundaries, for missing Al Anon meetings because I thought I could do it, and I can see how vulnerable I actually am and to try my very best to protect myself.
Ashamed yes, but after the stories I have heard of her escapades over the past 3 weeks, I can honestly say that I am one of the few people that crossed her path that may have escaped with the least damage.
I am calling my sponsor next. I feel like a dumb##!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
My God, she could make a fortune writing for film and TV, with the drama she comes out with. Unfortunately when she pulls her stunts it is real live people who pay the price and cop the garbage, not actors.
I hope her dumbo victim actually did report it, and that sh*t results, causing you no harm but places it all where it belongs....on her and the "helper" who should know.
Back to Alanon my friend, and tip any guilt or whatever you feel for listening to her story, in a bin before you leave there.
From what you have posted, St Peter could have believed her tales.
God bless
I hope her dumbo victim actually did report it, and that sh*t results, causing you no harm but places it all where it belongs....on her and the "helper" who should know.
Back to Alanon my friend, and tip any guilt or whatever you feel for listening to her story, in a bin before you leave there.
From what you have posted, St Peter could have believed her tales.
God bless
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Waterford MI
Posts: 4,202
Originally Posted by Freedom1990 
I refuse to confess how many codependent relapses I've had!
:ghug3
:ghug3
You are doing well, mrphillip.
good god, she is something.
kidnapping?
Awakening
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Beautiful Texas hillcountry
Posts: 1,272
Originally Posted by suki44883
Wow! She's a real piece of work, isn't she? Geez. 
I hope you dumped her out on the side of the road somewhere. JUST KIDDING!!!
I hope you dumped her out on the side of the road somewhere. JUST KIDDING!!!
Whatda nut job. You know, I find myself strangely attracted to her.
Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Little Rock, Arkansas
Posts: 161
Thanks for all your responses it does help and I am so happy for SR.
Unfortunately I am going to have to deal with is "about finding out if a report was made and what reprocussions may or may not be on my background checks.
If there is something I will have to get it removed. The director of the rehab told me that she will be happy to testify for me if I have to take this to court. I was with my XAGF when she contacted the director, and her director reminded me that my XAGF told her that she chose to come down on her own free will.
I came to find out after this incident that my XAGF had wrecked 3 cars, her new victim's, another potential victim, and her own van. She also got a public intox and when she got arrested gave the cop her ex-husband's number (the one she is in a custody battle with). She was a arrested at a real estate office, screaming that she wanted to see a doctor!?
One of her best friends mom bailed her out of jail, and then my XAGF wound up staying at this ladies house, long enough to steal her money and her liquor.
She slept with her lawyer who is married and even though he was at fault too, he dropped her. She has court in about a month, no lawyer, a public intox, and is in contempt for not reporting a relapse.
Her rehab told me that she has hot checks all over the town where the rehab was and I believe now that this contributed to one of the reasons to bail from her rehab.
All these incidents over a course of 3 weeks. I thanked God (my HP) for only having to experience this for 2 of the 21 or more days.
I need to pen the movie about this life fiasco.
Unfortunately I am going to have to deal with is "about finding out if a report was made and what reprocussions may or may not be on my background checks.
If there is something I will have to get it removed. The director of the rehab told me that she will be happy to testify for me if I have to take this to court. I was with my XAGF when she contacted the director, and her director reminded me that my XAGF told her that she chose to come down on her own free will.
I came to find out after this incident that my XAGF had wrecked 3 cars, her new victim's, another potential victim, and her own van. She also got a public intox and when she got arrested gave the cop her ex-husband's number (the one she is in a custody battle with). She was a arrested at a real estate office, screaming that she wanted to see a doctor!?
One of her best friends mom bailed her out of jail, and then my XAGF wound up staying at this ladies house, long enough to steal her money and her liquor.
She slept with her lawyer who is married and even though he was at fault too, he dropped her. She has court in about a month, no lawyer, a public intox, and is in contempt for not reporting a relapse.
Her rehab told me that she has hot checks all over the town where the rehab was and I believe now that this contributed to one of the reasons to bail from her rehab.
All these incidents over a course of 3 weeks. I thanked God (my HP) for only having to experience this for 2 of the 21 or more days.
I need to pen the movie about this life fiasco.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Alaska
Posts: 2,913
Wow, I don't know what else to say... but holy cow. Best wishes, MrPhillipctrs1, I hope you find good news on what reports were or weren't made. It sounds like you'll have enough information on her bizarre behavior and a good witness if you do have to deal with fallout.
Take it easy on yourself. Who in the world could have possibly predicted that she'd pull a stunt like that?!
Take it easy on yourself. Who in the world could have possibly predicted that she'd pull a stunt like that?!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 566
My grandmother was right, truth really IS stranger than fiction!!
Fortunately you're plenty healthy enough to see how crazy this is. If you were deep into the illness you might be dismissing/excusing it.
You're doing great, and now you have another excellent set of lessons for the wonderful life ahead of you.
posie
Fortunately you're plenty healthy enough to see how crazy this is. If you were deep into the illness you might be dismissing/excusing it.
You're doing great, and now you have another excellent set of lessons for the wonderful life ahead of you.
posie
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
See how quickly you can go from peace and serenity to bull$hit, chaos, danger, panic and confusion? And the aftereffects of dealing with her are going to worry you over your job security. Ask yourself, did you benefit at all from this last involvement? It doesn't sound like it so just use it as a learning experience. Sometimes you have to go backwards in order to make a giant leap forwards. Anyway, I'm with you, these people NEVER cease to amaze me. And how about that lawyer of hers? People are so effed up it is not even funny. I wonder if he ever heard of something called ETHICS?
About this:
I bolded a couple things to point out to you, not to be critical but to point you in a certain direction. Your feelings of being at fault for what has happened, your feelings of being ashamed, and your feelings of being a dumba$$ all are a direct result of dealing with the disease and PERPETUATE the disease. You want to stomp ALL those things OUT of your life, please. When you think these things, when you feel these feelings, make yourself STOP IT. The faster you do this, the faster you get better. Honestly, part of the reason we get away from the alcoholic or the addict is to get away from the sickness: the blame, the shame, the guilt, the low self-esteem. Hope this helps some.
About this:
I swear I thought I had seen it all. I know this was my fault for not following my own set boundaries, for missing Al Anon meetings because I thought I could do it, and I can see how vulnerable I actually am and to try my very best to protect myself.
Ashamed yes, but after the stories I have heard of her escapades over the past 3 weeks, I can honestly say that I am one of the few people that crossed her path that may have escaped with the least damage.
I am calling my sponsor next. I feel like a dumb##!
Ashamed yes, but after the stories I have heard of her escapades over the past 3 weeks, I can honestly say that I am one of the few people that crossed her path that may have escaped with the least damage.
I am calling my sponsor next. I feel like a dumb##!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Quebec
Posts: 2,708
Holy $hit...what.the..f...? What a nutjob!
Your life is like mine was when I was with XAH! Like some kind of twisted CSI/Days of our Lives/Cops episode, getting worse and worse every week.
I'm so sorry you have to deal with this crapola. Seems HP was leading you towards another important lesson: stay the heck away from this one.
Your life is like mine was when I was with XAH! Like some kind of twisted CSI/Days of our Lives/Cops episode, getting worse and worse every week.
I'm so sorry you have to deal with this crapola. Seems HP was leading you towards another important lesson: stay the heck away from this one.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Little Rock, Arkansas
Posts: 161
Thanks everyone for your replys. I do take it as a boost from my HP that he has got this, because no human on the face of this planet could rationally deal with this stuff.
I made the phone calls to several police agencies today and have come to the conclusion that there was no report made. I feel better and relieved again that she is out of my life.
I have heard from more friends today, offering their support and welcoming me to the happy side of the bridge, so to speak.
Back on the recovery road. Thanks again to all of you here at SR, I do not know what I would do without you.
MrP.
I made the phone calls to several police agencies today and have come to the conclusion that there was no report made. I feel better and relieved again that she is out of my life.
I have heard from more friends today, offering their support and welcoming me to the happy side of the bridge, so to speak.
Back on the recovery road. Thanks again to all of you here at SR, I do not know what I would do without you.
MrP.
I Love Who I Am
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
Well, A) you're not alone in being a codie
B) are you making this stuff up about your XAGF? and
C) Are you going to file a restraining order, if all this bat sh1t crazy stuff is true? I would.
I hope you're feeling better. And you're being way too hard on yourself. Just try to get away from Ms. Satan's Daughter and work on your own recovery. We're here for ya.
B) are you making this stuff up about your XAGF? and
C) Are you going to file a restraining order, if all this bat sh1t crazy stuff is true? I would.
I hope you're feeling better. And you're being way too hard on yourself. Just try to get away from Ms. Satan's Daughter and work on your own recovery. We're here for ya.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Little Rock, Arkansas
Posts: 161
Hey transform,
I wish I was making this stuff up. This is only 3 weeks of the life that is my XAGF. I have so many more stories, that would shock even the most veteran of SR folks. I just want to move on, and permanently close this chapter in my life.
I wish I was making this stuff up. This is only 3 weeks of the life that is my XAGF. I have so many more stories, that would shock even the most veteran of SR folks. I just want to move on, and permanently close this chapter in my life.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
