What are Nar-Anon meetings like?

Old 07-26-2010, 04:29 PM
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What are Nar-Anon meetings like?

Hi everybody,

I'm new here, glad to have found this place. I'm thinking about going to a nar-anon meeting in my area. I've never been to one (or an al-anon meeting for that matter); what happens during the meetings?

I don't live with an addict, but two very close family members are addicts. My elderly mother (age 77) and my brother (age 38) live together and have both used meth for years. My sister and I have tried to help them, but I now realize that I was only putting a band-aid on a leaking dam. I no longer give them money, but I can't let my mom go hungry so I do still bring her food from time to time. I know she's not my responsibility, but that doesn't mean I don't care.

My heart breaks for both of them, and I'm wondering if nar-anon will help me get some perspective and learn how to really help them. By the way, I chose the name "SuperDaughter" because I'm the "fixer" in my family. I do whatever I can to help, and sometimes I feel like I truly should be wearing a cape. SuperDaughter to the rescue.

Thanks for listening.
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Old 07-26-2010, 04:37 PM
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Hello Superdaughter. Well, first of all welcome to this wonderful site called SoberRecovery. It is a great site for addicts, and their families to find support and some good information. I love it.

Naranon meetings are meetings for families and friends of addicts. It is a support group, that is very helpful, because most of the people there are going through the same thing that you are going through, and some much worse.

It is a group of people in a room, with a story of heartache and sadness over a loved ones drug or alcohol addiction. The people are regular people like you and I, all sizes, shapes, colors, races, and religions. As you probably already know, addiction does not discriminate. Millions and millions of people and their families suffer.

Naranon gives you the tools to help cope with the painful affects of addiction. It teaches you the difference between enabling, and helping. It also teaches you that you cannot control the addict. The 3C's You didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. In my experience I learned that my sons life was not more important than my own. I took away some very good advice from Naranon.

At first I didn't agree with it, but as time went on I soon learned that they really did know what they were talking about. If your considering Naranon, it's a good program, with helpful tools and really great and understanding people. I hope you find what your looking for and needing on this site, and in Naranon. Good Luck and GOD Bless. I'm so sorry about your mom and brother. It's always tough when the people you love so much are addicted. My heart goes out to you. I've been where you are with a heroin addict brother, and alcoholic mother. They both died from their addictions 3 months apart. Now I go through it with my son. He is in recovery now. Just keep in mind that there is always hope. I hope you find the support that you need.

:ghug3
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Old 07-26-2010, 05:42 PM
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Nar-Anon meetings are like going to the gym. You feel like you just want to sit at home and veg-out... Then you go and feel really awkward for a little bit and then you just feel like you belong... and then you walk out feeling so good and so incredibly energized... Its exercise for your mind and spirit.
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Old 07-26-2010, 08:57 PM
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Is the program a good supplemental program to AA?
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Old 07-26-2010, 09:39 PM
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crisco,

if you are in aa, it is my feeling that you have to get some good sober time under your belt before you start exploring the anons. but if you have that, then yes, it is a good supplement. a lot of folks do attend both.

they both are based on the 12 steps, and the focus is pretty much the same (working on oneself, working the steps), but in aa there is a room full of people that have been addicted to a chemical mood-alterer, whereas in al- or nar- anon, we have troubles with getting wrapped up in, or hooked, on other people. who most often are addicts.

please try not to be nervous about going to your first meeting. there are just other people who are also trying to understand, and dealing with much the same stuff that you are.
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Old 07-31-2010, 09:17 PM
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My sister and I went to our first nar-anon meeting. It was a little uncomfortable walking into a room full of strangers, but everyone was so nice and so welcoming that we felt right at home. Their stories were so sad and so honest, it was easy to share my story with them.

I'm so glad I went. Sorry it took me this long to decide to go to a meeting, I wish I'd done it long ago. =)
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Old 08-01-2010, 08:54 AM
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KEEP COMING BACK, IT WORKS IF YOU WORK IT


THE THREE c's:
you did not cause this
you can not cure it
and you can not control it
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Old 08-01-2010, 09:53 AM
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(((Superdaughter)))

I know exactly how you feel! The addict in my life is my sister, whose doc is heroin. My parents aren't addicted to a substance, but they are addicted to rescuing sis from herself. Yep, we are definitely living proof that addiction is a family disease.

I'm glad you went to that nar-anon meeting. I go to al-anon because there isn't a convenient nar-anon meeting near me, but it's basically the same program, and I can tell you that my life is much more manageable when I go to meetings than when I don't. There's just something about being face to face with others who understand and have been there that no other form of help can provide.

And I totally get what you mean about being Superdaughter... I felt like that for a long time too.

Please keep coming back and reading and posting, and definitely go back to the meetings if you can. One day at a time
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