DUNE

I'm 20 days sober now, and definitely want to stay that way for the rest of my life, but my big trigger is having a reason to celebrate something. I've purchased my first home about a year ago (duplex) and it was a real fixer upper. I'm pretty much done with it and have been planning on renting out one side. It's been a real big goal of mine and after showing it to some really good prespective tenants today I could feel the urge to celebrate my acomplishment by drinking. And I'm really woried about the day I actualy sign the lease agreement and get the check.

I know we all have different triggers, but when it comes down to an unavoidable trigger that really has you by the balls, how have some of you dealt with it.

I greatly appreciate all replys. Thanks.

Dune

Dee74

I guess I drank enough so that it wasn't remotely pleasurable to me anymore.
Do something good for yourself Dune - not something bad - and congratulations!

Kmber2010

Dune I am glad you posted. I have no interest in drinking because I know oh too well how horrible my life was and I never want to go back to that. What I do though is keep proactive as I just went through some anxiety yesterday that had been a trigger in the past for me to drink. I don't want to, won't buy it but I did have a tiny little passing thought about calming down with booze. I immediately posted even though I knew I wouldn't drink just because I wanted to get it out there and get support.

It is definitely a challenge to change old habits so I would say celebrate by treating yourself to a nice dinner or buy something for yourself that you have wanted.

Remember that you have 20 days down and you don't NEED alchohol in your life. Just stay strong and don't drink. Yes, you are the key to your sobriety. If the thoughts get heavy then post here or reach out to a friend or someone for support.

Keep it going!!

LexieCat

There's always an excuse to drink--something great happened, something horrible happened, nothing happened (I'm bored). I'm hungry, angry, lonely, or tired.

A "trigger" is just an association your mind makes with drinking. It's your addiction manipulating you. If you are serious about never wanting to drink again, my suggestion is that you go to an AA meeting and listen to people talk about losing that great house that they worked so hard to fix up because they screwed up on the job, got fired and couldn't make the payments, all because they started drinking again over something trivial. Get some personal support, get some phone numbers. Do something really nice for yourself to celebrate. Buy yourself a housewarming gift.

Just don't drink.

Kmber2010

Amen Lexie!!

nogard

Hey Dune, yeah I used to get the lets celebrate trigger and then I would think about how it was when I quit, I was alone lonely broke filthy smelly boke, in short broke busted and not to be trusted.

Keep posting, celebrate today by staying clean.

RobbyRobot

Hi Dune,

You know, if your asking you have it half beat already. Asking for others to help you is a great important reaching out. It shows where your head and heart are living. Another thing I used to do in my very early days is talk out loud to myself in front of a bathroom mirror. Watching myself as I heard my voice say what I wanted and didn't want out of my new sober life brought me clarity and renewed purpose. Hey, it helped me stay real by getting my thoughts and feelings right up into my own face all very up close and personal like.

Whatever works to keep you sober do it. Don't waste these good times. Be well.

RR

Larkspur

Can you treat yourself to something else that is more exciting than drinking?

I don't know about you, but when I went out to celebrate, I could spend quite a few dollars. Maybe take that money and do something really cool instead. I mean, you are probably not really going to remember one more boozy night out, but you'll always remember that day you jumped out of a plane with a parachute on.

DUNE

Thanks for the tips and advise everyone. I guess the one that helped me the most would have to be "and then I would think about how it was when I quit". I used to think about "how it was" a lot the first week of being sober, and it amazes me how eazy it is to forget about all the negitive ways alcohol has impacted my life, and how I cant stop once I start. And once I get going, it's all downhill, and not a fun ride. I guess I just needed someone to remind me of that.

Thanks guys.

Dune

Kmber2010

Dune I could've posted your last comment. It is so true how as time passes and we feel good that sometimes we forget how we felt. What charges me is how bad my life became at the end of drinking. I really had become a self destructing monster. No nice words whatsoever to describe how horrid I was.

LaFemme

Hey Dune,

I am visiting my parents right now, which is a hig trigger, compounded by the fact their house is full of alcohol. The whole 5 hour drive here, I made myself think about drinking and then remember in vibid detail how sick I felt when drinking, bringing up the memories of dry heaving etc. I did this to the point where I felt like vomiting at the though of drinking. This has proven remarkably effective:-)

Good luck and congrats on your house!

loveon2legs

Hi Dune,
Maybe celebrate by going out for dinner, or getting tickets to an event!! Those old thoughts will pop up every now and again...but remember they are just thoughts...that's it...they will pass...its all just stinkin..thinkin!!
Keep well

wow1323

Throw yourself in water.swim, shower, bath, run. DONT DRINK

Fandy

this may sound a little strange, but i have used the "simulation method"....i sit in the bathroom, on the toilet with the wastebasket on my lap, and try to remember in vivid detail how i was so violently ill, my jaw was sore from retching...

sorry to be gross, but i would heave so hard, i could blow out little capillaries in my eyelids, leaving red dots that didn't heal for days.

works every time....(almost)

TexasNative

Hey Dune, good to hear you are still on the path..today is 20 for me. I know exactly what you mean, I have done that a lot lately as well...it's our way of thinking. What works for me is to simply say what goes up must come down...the first drink might be a false sense of "hell yeah!!!" but then what? You would crash and burn and have to start all over again.

DayTrader

A lot of things have worked but none have been so consistent as doing the one I usually want to avoid the most - working with/for others. That could mean going to a meeting I don't feel like going to and looking for the newer person who's having a tough time and spending an hour with them after. Maybe it's calling one of the ppl I have in my phone, asking what's up with them, and not talking about myself AT ALL. Maybe it's going over to my neighbors and cutting their grass and NOT telling them it was me who did it.

The 100% cure for when those weaknesses surface is, for me anyway, being helpful to another one of God's kids and expecting nothing in return from them or others for having done it. It tends to work better and faster the MORE I don't want to do it.

Hope that helps.

SoberJune282010

How bout saving a little of those rent checks every month and take a vacation to reward your sobriety?

Anna

I think this is about changing your thinking.

You can reward yourself for the hard work you've done on the house by going out for dinner to a favourite restaurant, or go to a great gelatto place, a movie you've been wanting to see. Your addict voice is trying to manipulate you, so don't cave in to it.

Harry01854

Thank you for your reply DayTrader. That is something I needed to hear the most. What worked for me was getting in touch with my sponsor and spending time talking with him. Going to a meeting and sharing with others what was going on with me. But I especially like the part of reaching out to a newcomer. I remember what I felt like when I was a newcomer and how scared I was. Helping a newcomer to feel as comfortable as he possibly can at that time. Letting him know that he is not alone and doesn't have to do this by himself. Before I knew it, I was no longer thinking of drinking and was more comfortable in my own skin.

Harry

Harry

DayTrader

You're more than welcome.

Don't underestimate the value in doing stuff or ppl NOT in AA either. I found myself, from time to time, "looking down" on anyone not working the 12 steps. I'd hear myself think, "If only THEY were on this awesome spiritual path that I'M on....." Hear the false ego and self-centeredness in that? What better way to get out of myself (the root of my problems) than to do something for ANYONE? Sometimes, there just aren't any convenient ways for me to help an AA'r......so do something nice for someone not in the program.