Back to Day 1
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Tx
Posts: 38
Back to Day 1
Well, I am back to day 1. Coming here this morning, I realized it's been two months since I've visited and two months since I've been sober. I've told my story before, so I won't go down that path. Just that I am that person who if I don't drink anything, I'm a great dad, husband, and friend. If I have one beer, I am typically going to have 5 to 10 more and binge. Haven't lost my family, but genetic health concerns are exacerbated by my drinking and I have to get my health under control. Stopping drinking is a BIG part of that. My mind feels right and my resolve is good. Laid in bed all night thinking about THIS first step and that I have to make it. I feel strong, but know that I won't always. Glad I chose to come back here and read, post, and visit with those who know. I will not be a stranger. Thanks again for what you do.
Glad you're starting again.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
Glad you are back! Think about what happened and what you will do differently this time. Takes most of us many attempts before we get it and hold tight. We all know that problems and life's bs can get us down so staying strong and getting support and finding productive positive responses is what sees us through.
Thx for posting and you know you have tons to be sober for and most important is you my friend.
Keep on sharing and we are routing for ya!
Thx for posting and you know you have tons to be sober for and most important is you my friend.
Keep on sharing and we are routing for ya!
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Glad you're back, Haon! You can make it stick this time. Just keep focused on staying sober for one day at a time. It took me a couple relapses to see how little control I really have once I allow myself to take that first drink. Keep posting and hang in there!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Tx
Posts: 38
Good Questions
I appreciate the challenge of what my plan might be. A very valid question and one I pose to others all the time in business. My plan is to change my pattern of behavior. Stop hitting the beer store on the way home by making sure I have a soda in the car for my commute. Work out when I get home (I simply do not feel like drinking beer after working out.) I also need to spend a little me time during each day. Time to decompress in the garage, working on the cars or bike, or whatever to maintain my focus on my goal of staying sober and getting healthy. The rest consist of eating better and visiting here regularly. Thanks again for the support.
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
Welcome back! I know when I strayed too far from the support I found here, and elsewhere, and got complacent about my recovery.. I always ended up back at square one. I also learned that I am really not good at providing my own recovery treatment, I had to leave that to the pros. Hope you seek out more support when you feel you might need it!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Buzz-free Zone
Posts: 1,372
Welcome back to the both of you!
Recovery is all about change. You've got some well-laid plans for interrupting the patterns that contributed to your drinking behavior. Great start!
Now that you've got a plan to take back your life, all you have to do is to further develop the plan to make your new life worth living.
One of the biggest reasons I self-medicated with alcohol was something I still have to deal with: simple stress and tension.
I had to learn how to identify the tensions and beat it to the punch and then find other gratifying ways to reward myself with anything but a drink.
It's really a lifestyle change and it is so worth the effort. An alcoholism counselor helped me to develop my own recovery plan based not just on breaking old habits, but in establishing new patterns and lifestyle behaviors that have made for a contented life in recovery, as opposed to just not drinking.
Not every day is stress-free of course. But I've learned how to live without the need for a drink to numb any pain and discomfort, including the discomfort of being at social situations without a drink.
I've found the best recovery programs to be those that involve face-to-face support. It doesn't have to be AA. AA is not for everyone. I was a member in early sobriety and it was helpful, but it's not the only recovery program out there.
You'll find others' experiences with different programs on the forums here. Regardless of what you choose, I'm glad you're here!
Recovery is all about change. You've got some well-laid plans for interrupting the patterns that contributed to your drinking behavior. Great start!
Now that you've got a plan to take back your life, all you have to do is to further develop the plan to make your new life worth living.
One of the biggest reasons I self-medicated with alcohol was something I still have to deal with: simple stress and tension.
I had to learn how to identify the tensions and beat it to the punch and then find other gratifying ways to reward myself with anything but a drink.
It's really a lifestyle change and it is so worth the effort. An alcoholism counselor helped me to develop my own recovery plan based not just on breaking old habits, but in establishing new patterns and lifestyle behaviors that have made for a contented life in recovery, as opposed to just not drinking.
Not every day is stress-free of course. But I've learned how to live without the need for a drink to numb any pain and discomfort, including the discomfort of being at social situations without a drink.
I've found the best recovery programs to be those that involve face-to-face support. It doesn't have to be AA. AA is not for everyone. I was a member in early sobriety and it was helpful, but it's not the only recovery program out there.
You'll find others' experiences with different programs on the forums here. Regardless of what you choose, I'm glad you're here!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Tx
Posts: 38
Originally Posted by HumbleBee 
Welcome back to the both of you!
Recovery is all about change. You've got some well-laid plans for interrupting the patterns that contributed to your drinking behavior. Great start!
Now that you've got a plan to take back your life, all you have to do is to further develop the plan to make your new life worth living.
One of the biggest reasons I self-medicated with alcohol was something I still have to deal with: simple stress and tension.
I had to learn how to identify the tensions and beat it to the punch and then find other gratifying ways to reward myself with anything but a drink.
It's really a lifestyle change and it is so worth the effort. An alcoholism counselor helped me to develop my own recovery plan based not just on breaking old habits, but in establishing new patterns and lifestyle behaviors that have made for a contented life in recovery, as opposed to just not drinking.
Not every day is stress-free of course. But I've learned how to live without the need for a drink to numb any pain and discomfort, including the discomfort of being at social situations without a drink.
I've found the best recovery programs to be those that involve face-to-face support. It doesn't have to be AA. AA is not for everyone. I was a member in early sobriety and it was helpful, but it's not the only recovery program out there.
You'll find others' experiences with different programs on the forums here. Regardless of what you choose, I'm glad you're here!
Recovery is all about change. You've got some well-laid plans for interrupting the patterns that contributed to your drinking behavior. Great start!
Now that you've got a plan to take back your life, all you have to do is to further develop the plan to make your new life worth living.
One of the biggest reasons I self-medicated with alcohol was something I still have to deal with: simple stress and tension.
I had to learn how to identify the tensions and beat it to the punch and then find other gratifying ways to reward myself with anything but a drink.
It's really a lifestyle change and it is so worth the effort. An alcoholism counselor helped me to develop my own recovery plan based not just on breaking old habits, but in establishing new patterns and lifestyle behaviors that have made for a contented life in recovery, as opposed to just not drinking.
Not every day is stress-free of course. But I've learned how to live without the need for a drink to numb any pain and discomfort, including the discomfort of being at social situations without a drink.
I've found the best recovery programs to be those that involve face-to-face support. It doesn't have to be AA. AA is not for everyone. I was a member in early sobriety and it was helpful, but it's not the only recovery program out there.
You'll find others' experiences with different programs on the forums here. Regardless of what you choose, I'm glad you're here!
Grouch and Brainstorm
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 238
Welcome back, Haon.
I previously believed my alcoholism was caused by certain outside factors-- stress, anxiety, and other forms of pressure. So I believed that if I avoided these situations, or had "protective measures" in place to ensure I would not drink, I could stay sober.
I failed miserably.
I learned that my alcoholism was from inside me, not caused by outside factors. Sure, those situations could make it worse, but the real reason I drank was due to a disease of the mind, body and spirit.
I learned I needed to treat the inside condition and not try to control the outside circumstances that I believed "triggered" my drinking.
I think my alcoholism laughs when I make plans to contain it.
The treatment for the disease for me was finding a power greater than myself through doing the 12 steps of AA.
I previously believed my alcoholism was caused by certain outside factors-- stress, anxiety, and other forms of pressure. So I believed that if I avoided these situations, or had "protective measures" in place to ensure I would not drink, I could stay sober.
I failed miserably.
I learned that my alcoholism was from inside me, not caused by outside factors. Sure, those situations could make it worse, but the real reason I drank was due to a disease of the mind, body and spirit.
I learned I needed to treat the inside condition and not try to control the outside circumstances that I believed "triggered" my drinking.
I think my alcoholism laughs when I make plans to contain it.
The treatment for the disease for me was finding a power greater than myself through doing the 12 steps of AA.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,405
Welcome back. Take all the support offered you can beat this. Read an interesting article this morning regarding health and drinking in summary:
"Compared with teetotalers with normal blood pressure, men with high blood pressure (hypertension) who even occasionally down more than six drinks in one sitting have nearly double the risk of dying from a stroke or heart attack, according to the study.."
Just saying...
"Compared with teetotalers with normal blood pressure, men with high blood pressure (hypertension) who even occasionally down more than six drinks in one sitting have nearly double the risk of dying from a stroke or heart attack, according to the study.."
Just saying...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Originally Posted by flutter
Hope you seek out more support when you feel you might need it!
The problem I see, and read about every day on the Newcomers forum, is that one never knows when they need it. Things seem great, or they seem not so great, or whatever, but a day comes along and someone drinks. and they may be horrified and stop quickly, or they may be off and running for a few months.
The point is, that wherever I am, seems alright to me. The question is, how do I know if I am doing enough? How do I know if I am safe and protected?
I tend to have this delusion that I will see trouble coming, and then I'll take the necessary actions to head it off. In my experience, that's very rare. Usually trouble slams us around for a while first. Trouble is firmly in charge, not me.
And then my reaction is (when trouble lets me go), to do the same damn thing over again. Jump back on the horse and do the exact same thing, thinking that now I'll be able to see trouble coming better.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 438
Congratulations to everyone who is on their first or second day...you've just cleared the most significant hurdle there is. Hang in there and keep coming back to SR...it truly helps that first day stick.
Grouch and Brainstorm
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 238
Originally Posted by keithj
Flutter makes a couple good points, but this one jumps out especially. 'When you feel you need it"
The problem I see, and read about every day on the Newcomers forum, is that one never knows when they need it. Things seem great, or they seem not so great, or whatever, but a day comes along and someone drinks. and they may be horrified and stop quickly, or they may be off and running for a few months.
The point is, that wherever I am, seems alright to me. The question is, how do I know if I am doing enough? How do I know if I am safe and protected?
I tend to have this delusion that I will see trouble coming, and then I'll take the necessary actions to head it off. In my experience, that's very rare. Usually trouble slams us around for a while first. Trouble is firmly in charge, not me.
And then my reaction is (when trouble lets me go), to do the same damn thing over again. Jump back on the horse and do the exact same thing, thinking that now I'll be able to see trouble coming better.
The problem I see, and read about every day on the Newcomers forum, is that one never knows when they need it. Things seem great, or they seem not so great, or whatever, but a day comes along and someone drinks. and they may be horrified and stop quickly, or they may be off and running for a few months.
The point is, that wherever I am, seems alright to me. The question is, how do I know if I am doing enough? How do I know if I am safe and protected?
I tend to have this delusion that I will see trouble coming, and then I'll take the necessary actions to head it off. In my experience, that's very rare. Usually trouble slams us around for a while first. Trouble is firmly in charge, not me.
And then my reaction is (when trouble lets me go), to do the same damn thing over again. Jump back on the horse and do the exact same thing, thinking that now I'll be able to see trouble coming better.
People who know me in AA roll their eyes when they hear me say this, but I think it illustrates the point: "it's easier to surrender when you're handcuffed to the hospital bed."
Trouble doesn't issue a schedule ahead of time. There's no predictable progression. I believe our jails are filled with people who are still trying to figure out how they got from "pretty much OK" to a 6 year jail sentence. Good people with an untreated illness.
See, I believe all alcoholics eventually stop drinking. It's a question of how, and how long it takes to get there. Jail? Death? Recovery? If you're the hopeless alcoholic described in the text of AA, these are your three options.
The billion dollar question is: how much proof do we need that jail and death await us? How long do we entertain other options, and listen to the seductive voice that says we're different?
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