MrSerious

i feel like a broken record. I hit the bottle yet again yesterday, woke up sweaty and snotty. Im so tired of this. So I try again, today, to start over. I hate myself sometimes. sorry to have let you guys down again, im staying dry today.

Anna

So, what will you do differently this time?

I hope you have a good day, MrSerious.

least

The only one you're 'letting down' is yourself, but by getting back up and starting again you're showing that you're stronger than the obsession. Never give up! I had too many 'day ones' to remember but finally managed to stay sober and beat this disease.

smacked

You sure didn't let me down, or us.. what will you try next, to support a more successful recovery effort?

MrSerious

today I concetrate on work, and on cleaning my home up a bit. No xbox, no tv, just quiet time and peace. I want to make a full week, im not gonna give into the demon today. I've decided that if it gets too hard ill go stay with a family member tonight,

Kmber2010

Mr. you can do this. Just keep getting back up if you drink and stop again. Like Anna said the real question here is what have you learned and will do differently this time.

Took me many many half arsed attempts and it seemed overwelming. Everyday I tried and ended up drinking.

First real sober time came when I white knuckled it and fought the demon and got support. I relapsed when I stopped with the support and thought that I was ok to drink. I used a rough negative patch in my life to justify boozing.

I picked up after that and learned that I will never have a drink again. I mean I literally can not have 1 sip and that was my focus. I also realized what I am and how important recovery is. Quitting is the first few days but recovery helps us start anew in our sobriety. Without this support and daily work on my end, I would not be sober now.

Hang tight, and make your goal today not to drink. If you have a weak moment then phone a friend or get on here at SR for support. We are here 24/7 and I certainly have posted many times when I felt like it was too much. I shared and got support and I felt better.

You will get it~~

eddie73

Its tough but we have only one choice and that is to remain sober. the alternative is chaos

Fandy

this is a good plan. Have you told anyone you are close to about your desire to quit? I mentioned it to my closest friend 2 weeks into it....she was very supportive. we are neighbors and I visit frequently with my mug of tea in my hand and teabags in my pocket...she always has my non-alcoholic beverages I really like....(she doesn't have alcohol issues, but I graciously gave her my extra bottles of vodka and wine over the months).

MTWildflower

Hang in there.

Ananda

Please also remember to keep in contact with the dr.

Lithobid

I remember those days myself MrSerious, trying and trying, failing and failing. Though I must say you might be on the right path, because it was all those failures that made me give up and goto AA, and now I don't have to struggle day by day, as the compulsion to drink is being lifted from me as I type. I hope you find a path that works for you, but I sure do recommend AA. Don't do it alone.

-Lith

Dinamic

You're not letting anyone down, perhaps just youself. But still, we make mistakes day in and day out, hopefully you'll learn yet again from this one. I've been doing the same thing. Sober, sober, NOT, sober, sober, sober, NOT. I've found that I learn something new about myself everytime I hit the bottle. Don't get down on yourself, just get back up and try again! YOU CAN DO IT!

Good luck, Mr. Serious!

cat1961

Mr Serious - I sure hope you can pull through again. When you have that urge to grab a bottle, just think long and hard how you'll feel the next day.

I'm on Day 10 and really feel great (outside of hotter than a firecracker....). I do NOT miss the puking, gut rot, headaches, shakes, well you know. But all that will come to and end Sir once you conquer that nasty demon.

I wish you the best my friend. Keep coming here - there's plenty of support.

keithj

You're not the first person down this road, MrSerious. Broken records are what alcoholics sound like. Maybe something more is required than just putting down the bottle.

Dee74

I tend to agree with Keith Mr S - I wish you the best and hope for your success, but a lot of us, including me, found that it took more than no xbox, no tv, or just quiet time and peace.

If you're find that, I really hope you'll start exploring other options like counselling, recovery groups like AA or SMART etc, or even outpatient rehab....

It's your future you're fighting for...don't give anything less than 100%
D

Snarf

There ain't nothin' I wanna learn at the bottom of a bottle. I done learned about all I need through drinking. I already know what a despicable drunk I am; no need to prove it to myself for the millionth time.

nacona

The only thing I have left when I am in your situation (which has been MANY times) is contact with my higher power. I don't know who or what is it, I just pray to whomever is listening and I seem to get through that day.

Once I poured what I thought was Advil out of a bottle and into my hand fell 3 percocette, which I would have LOVED since I was detoxing off of Vicodin. I hit my knees and prayed - please God don't let me take these...please please....I put them back in the bottle and put the bottle back in my co-worker's desk and didn't give them another thought.

SO SO UNLIKE ME. It had to be that higher power doing for me what I could NOT do for myself.

Please try to pray your way through the day and check in with us.

We have all been there, so don't ever feel that you have let us down.

Teri

betterlate

2007-2009, I must've had about a couple hundred "day ones". Right now I'm on day 87, which is making me feel freer than I have in years. It's really worth it, Mr., and there's no way I could have got here without 1) attending meetings and 2) therapy. Pick and choose among the advice in this thread, feel free to try different things, whatever it takes to help you avoid drinking. Many of us had to go through a process to find out what worked for us and you're probably no different. Keep trying and good luck!

eddie73

Amen betterlate, what a good username as well. I have had several day ones over the past 20 months but I have to say this time I feel so dirty after the binge that I have to change or rather simply quit drinking. Wishing you well on your day 2 as it is mine likewise