Chino

My RAD's exbf - the one who introduced her to her DOC - called this morning and asked to speak to her. I was a little stunned by the call because I know he relapsed after almost a year of sobriety, and she's avoided him like the plague.

I told him she wasn't here and he said he wanted to tell her he got arrested and is going back to prison to finish his sentence. Two more years. I said I'm sorry to hear that and I'll tell her you called.

Told her about it, said I know he wanted to hear your voice, not mine. She said that's OK, everyone says you have the voice of an angel and it's good he heard that.

*** *** ***

After going no contact with my sister for 4 years, legal issues made it where we have to talk. I've done very well at staying on topic with her, and ignoring her when she's tried to go down some old roads. Detaching works!

She called after the exbf and I could hear panic in her voice. She said she needed my advice. I chugged down a cup of coffee and then listened. She didn't need my advice, she needed someone to talk her down off the ledge.

She's overseas and her alcoholic, gambling 4th husband wants a divorce. Her world is crashing down around her and she has two kids, 15 and 18 years of age.

I didn't tell her what to do, instead I shared everything I've learned about living life one day at a time. I told my sister I love her (for the first time in probably 20 years) and that she's going to be OK, even if it's one moment at a time. She managed a chuckle and said then she better get busy figuring out dinner.

*** *** ***

If you're wondering where's the miracle, well, the miracle is me.

I didn't have to summon the courage and strength to deal with those two phone calls, all I felt was compassion. I didn't feel the need to fix anyone or feel panic because they were reaching out. They never felt like a burden. All I felt was love and acceptance. No judgments, just love.

I feel like I'm 11 years old again, when love was so easy and I didn't yet know what hate meant.

"Purity of soul cannot be lost without consent."

I got my soul back and I am the miracle.

Ann

Recovery brings us many gifts and truly is a miracle. I could never have imagined how good life can be, once we step out of the darkness into the light.

Thank you for sharing your miracle with us, Chino, you are such an inspiration to me.

Hugs

MsPINKAcres

((Chino))

Yes Ma'am - You are the miracle!!!!!

Congratulations!!!!!

I think that is why I love when someone told me at a meeting

"don't give up before the miracles happen in you - YOU DESERVE THEM"

HUGS,
Rita

sunnygirl68

LOVED THIS POST! Thank you so much for sharing that! It is exactly the place I'm trying to end up!!

Chino

I had to want it really bad and I've been working so hard. When I told my cousin about it, I said what has happened to me? I didn't want to beat the hell out of them and I didn't have to try and put myself in a better state of mind. I didn't have to summon love to replace apathy, anger or pity. It just happened. I felt good healthy emotion before I thought it, with situations I'd normally avoid.

You know, I'd been so focused on miracles with other people and their situations, I forgot all about miracles with me.

I've had PTSD since I was a young girl. Ever since then, sometimes it's taken a while before emotion catches up with me. I have physical responses before emotional ones, and neither of them have always been appropriate ones. Just last week I finally accepted PTSD had left a huge permanent imprint in me, but I was still determined to deal with it.

Sometime between last week and now, acceptance of myself lead to a miracle in me.

peaceteach

What a great post, Chino. Brought tears to my eyes. I love your serenity, and I love your daughter's words about your voice. Thanks so much for posting this and giving me a reminder of that smiling, calm person I (for the most part) enjoy being!

Suspicious

Ditto to that!