Can't get any information from a center
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Myrtle Beach, SC
Posts: 3
Can't get any information from a center
My wife was admitted involuntarely to a rehabilitation center last week. I have called to ask how she is doing and I'm told they cannot say anything because she does not want any information on her given out. I do talk the her a couple of times a day but I know she is not giving me the whole story, and I'm sure she's not telling the doctors everything either. I don't want to narc her out, I just want to be sure she is getting the treatment she needs.
Since we are married, don't I have a right to know what is going on, regardless of what she signed? The doctors and center have my number, but nobody has called.
Since we are married, don't I have a right to know what is going on, regardless of what she signed? The doctors and center have my number, but nobody has called.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
It is standard procedure here (in Canada) that information regarding a resident in rehab cannot be released to anyone without their signed consent. I believe it falls under medical privilege and privacy laws.
You can ask her to do this, but in the end the decision is up to her.
I know it's hard not to want information on her progress and assurance that they have all the "facts", but it's not up to us to do what she can and should be doing herself.
Hope this helps a little. It's not personal, it's the law.
Hugs
You can ask her to do this, but in the end the decision is up to her.
I know it's hard not to want information on her progress and assurance that they have all the "facts", but it's not up to us to do what she can and should be doing herself.
Hope this helps a little. It's not personal, it's the law.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 457
no, you have no right if she signed confidentality papers, the HIPPA laws are very strict now.
My ah did this on me about a year ago with all his drs. so I coudlnt discuss his addiction.however, what I would do is call the center ask to speak to someone regarding your wife treatment etc.and they will tell you whether they can talk to you about her.
when my husband went into rehab he had me listed to speak to the facility about him, when he checked out he signed the HIPPA form so that I couldnt find out if he was in fact there, left or for what reasons he did leave.
My ah did this on me about a year ago with all his drs. so I coudlnt discuss his addiction.however, what I would do is call the center ask to speak to someone regarding your wife treatment etc.and they will tell you whether they can talk to you about her.
when my husband went into rehab he had me listed to speak to the facility about him, when he checked out he signed the HIPPA form so that I couldnt find out if he was in fact there, left or for what reasons he did leave.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,871
Since we are married, don't I have a right to know what is going on, regardless of what she signed? The doctors and center have my number, but nobody has called.
It doesn't work that way. She is an adult and as such, she has the right to determine who can and cannot get information about her treatment. Maybe one of the times you talk with her you can ask her about changing her mind about that, but if she refuses, there's nothing you can do.
It doesn't work that way. She is an adult and as such, she has the right to determine who can and cannot get information about her treatment. Maybe one of the times you talk with her you can ask her about changing her mind about that, but if she refuses, there's nothing you can do.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: minneapolis, mn
Posts: 2,762
i was not married to my addict, but when he was seeking help, that meant he was doing well. when he was doing well, he always gave permission to his caregivers to allow me access to his records, information, etc.
i hope trust is rebuilt between you two. for now, you just need to be patient, and start on your own work.
i hope trust is rebuilt between you two. for now, you just need to be patient, and start on your own work.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 456
This is the sign that you need to work on you and she needs to work on herself. its an individual battle, and the more you get on her battle field learning about HER inner demons, you loose the war within yourself.
I know its hard, but just trust she is safe, and get some rest. I'm sure you don't sleep well when she is using. Believe you me, this will be the most peaceful sleep you will get.
I know its hard, but just trust she is safe, and get some rest. I'm sure you don't sleep well when she is using. Believe you me, this will be the most peaceful sleep you will get.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 561
Just a thought...
When my sister was in rehab, she did the same thing, refused to allow me to have access to information. One thing I learned was that when counsellors told me they could not give me information, that didn't always mean they wouldn't listen if I wanted to give THEM information. If you have some vital information that might be useful you might be able to get someone to listen to you - just that they won't tell you anything.
The other thing I learned, though, by trying to give all the information I had to various counsellors is that they already know. They are very familiar with addiction and they don't fall for the BS the way we are afraid they will. They've seen it all before and you can probably trust that they already know if your wife is minimizing her problem or holding back information.
Good wishes to you and your wife.
Lisa
When my sister was in rehab, she did the same thing, refused to allow me to have access to information. One thing I learned was that when counsellors told me they could not give me information, that didn't always mean they wouldn't listen if I wanted to give THEM information. If you have some vital information that might be useful you might be able to get someone to listen to you - just that they won't tell you anything.
The other thing I learned, though, by trying to give all the information I had to various counsellors is that they already know. They are very familiar with addiction and they don't fall for the BS the way we are afraid they will. They've seen it all before and you can probably trust that they already know if your wife is minimizing her problem or holding back information.
Good wishes to you and your wife.
Lisa
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Hello mwjns. 
I had to go back and read your first post here on SR to get an idea of what is going on.
With your recognition of your own drinking problem, I'd highly recommend focusing on yourself at this time.
I am of little use to anyone else unless I have my own program of recovery, and am tending to my own physical, emotional, and spiritual needs.
I can't give away what I don't have.
Have you considered checking out AA for yourself?
AA is my program of recovery for my alcoholism. Alanon is my program of recovery for my codependency.
I had to go back and read your first post here on SR to get an idea of what is going on.
With your recognition of your own drinking problem, I'd highly recommend focusing on yourself at this time.
I am of little use to anyone else unless I have my own program of recovery, and am tending to my own physical, emotional, and spiritual needs.
I can't give away what I don't have.
Have you considered checking out AA for yourself?
AA is my program of recovery for my alcoholism. Alanon is my program of recovery for my codependency.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Myrtle Beach, SC
Posts: 3
She was released yesterday, and entering an outpatient program today. She is going back to the same center she went to before, which worked great until she got caught up with her old group of co-workers. I hope it works, but I am very skeptical.
She doesn't remember what happened that night, and admitted to taking a methadone to go with the drinking she did. She walked around the house asking questions, and I told her what all she had broken. She was very embarrased and remorseful.
I tried to call the center to speak with a counsler/Dr before she was released, and they put me on the phone with her instead. She is admitting she has a problem with alcohol and painpills, which is the 1st step.
BTW, I just finished day 3 of not drinking. I have tried AA before, it was not my thing. I did go to a counsler, and that worked before. I am committed to trying that again if needed. I am trying to change my habits, and so far so good. I go for nightly walks, and my house hasn't been cleaner in months lol. I also come on this site and read posts, and you all have been great in helping me understand and get through this. There is no alcohol in the house, and so far I have not craved any. I turned down 2 dinner invitations Monday night because I know there would be beer there. Not that it would have been pushed on me, I just know I'm not ready for that yet.
She doesn't remember what happened that night, and admitted to taking a methadone to go with the drinking she did. She walked around the house asking questions, and I told her what all she had broken. She was very embarrased and remorseful.
I tried to call the center to speak with a counsler/Dr before she was released, and they put me on the phone with her instead. She is admitting she has a problem with alcohol and painpills, which is the 1st step.
BTW, I just finished day 3 of not drinking. I have tried AA before, it was not my thing. I did go to a counsler, and that worked before. I am committed to trying that again if needed. I am trying to change my habits, and so far so good. I go for nightly walks, and my house hasn't been cleaner in months lol. I also come on this site and read posts, and you all have been great in helping me understand and get through this. There is no alcohol in the house, and so far I have not craved any. I turned down 2 dinner invitations Monday night because I know there would be beer there. Not that it would have been pushed on me, I just know I'm not ready for that yet.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
