Jaffapoppy

Hi guys, Thanks for all your posts. I have a few sticky ideas situations. 14 days no alcohol and I am proud. When I joined here it was with the idea of not drinking at home so we had dinner at a reasonable hour and because it was habit and we were having dinner later and later. Also alcohol was causing problems with my husbands depression. It has been a hard two weeks but good. When I went out to dinner with my husband I wanted to keep up not drinking so didn't order wine and still enjoyed the evening. That really surprised me and makes me want to take things further.

I am now thinking to myself that I want to extend that idea of not drinking at home to not drinking ever. As I said that was not my original intention. Has anyone with an alcohol problem here ever been able to go back to controlled drinking successfully? I would like to hear your experiences. What are the pos and cons of each.

Also I have my first social get together with alcohol today. It is our neighbours birthday and we have been invited over for afternoon drinks. (It would be rude not to go as we have all shared our birthdays together previously and I feel I can do this) I am taking non alcoholic ginger beer. I am very nervous. The neighbours see me as a fun loving, eager drinking partygoer who loves to have a good time and stays on late (expect if I have a club run in the morning). I have a cold anyway, so don't feel like staying long. But I am nervous. I haven't been the only one non drinking in a situation like this. I have 7 hours before the event. Ideas appreciated. I know I am not going to drink because I am on antabuse. It's just going to be a different dynamic for me.

Nervous

Dee74

Hey JP

I spent 20 years trying to control my drinking. My life got so much better when I gave that idea up.

Just make sure you have an escape plan for this afternoon. Leave if it gets too much.

Don't worry about what you 'were', or what your neighbours' expectations of the evening, or of you, might be...

you know whats good for you, JP.
Stick with that.

D

Taking5

Be very careful with that ginger beer, it can have trace amounts of alcohol and it is enough to set off the antabuse for some people. From what I have heard that is not pleasant.

Anna

Alcoholics can't control their drinking, at least not for very long. Alcoholism is a progressive disease and it is relentless.

I couldn't be around people who were drinking when I stopped drinking. For me, it just wasn't possible for quite a long time. Honestly, I didn't care if someone thought I was rude. Part of the reason I had become an alcoholic, was because of my people-pleasing ways. So, I recognized that, not only did I need to stop drinking, but I needed to learn to put myself and my needs first.

cat1961

Not very long indeed. A few months ago after being sober for two years I did have control with a couple beers after work a couple times a week. Then it came to almost every day. Then it escalated to 12 packs in the frig only having a couple a night. Which eventually lead to a 12 pack a day.

I went from a social drinker to a full blown out of control Alkie (again) in a matter of 2-3 months.

So, here I am on Day 5 and can't be happier that I don't have that half empty 12 pack in the frig. Or waking up having to dash to the frig for a beer to control the shakes.

I'm happy just having no alcohol whatsoever.

least

I tried so often to control my drinking. Never could. Only way I can 'control' it is by not drinking at all. Safer and less expensive that way.

RobbyRobot

Controlled drinking is a myth for this alcoholic. It never worked. All it ever did was delay the next drunk for whatever limited time. Quiting for good is the thing to do. Try to be honest with yourself in social situations. Its always up to you to watch out for yourself. We never have to drink to please anybody. Never. Hope things go well for you tonight. Congrats on your 14 days not drinking!

RR

Happier

I would agree that controlled drinking does not work. At least not for me. I tried it once and failed costing me another 4 months of over-indulging. The thing that best keeps me from trying again is the realization that I would always be thinking, wondering, planning for that next "controlled" excuse to drink. Better for me to realize it just isn't an option so I don't have to constantly wonder about the "next time".
Just my experience and opinion. : )

Lithobid

Hi Jaffa, controlled drinking is something of a myth in my opinion. If you have to control something, then isn't it already out of control?

If you drink uncontrolably, you need to find the reason why. The reason may be because you are an alcoholic, and if you are, then drinking is no longer an option for you. If you find that you aren't, then perhaps you can enjoy an apertif or two out at dinner.

This forum, and AA for me are about quality of life. My quality of life drinking was far inferior to the life that I know I can live sober, hence my hard work on myself and striving for sobriety.

I think it's great that you are asking these questions about yourself, it's your life, live the way you want to live.

-Lith

Opivotal

Jaffy,

I know how you feel. Life of the party and all. That was me. I've been thinking the same thing myself. Wonder how it would be if I didn't drink. Seems the alcohol makes one more sociable. Guess someone else will have to take over till I get my bearings. I'm curious to know how it works out for you. The last opportunity I had was 4th of July and I opted to stay home. Had a little pity party for myself. lol

As far as controlled drinking.......didn't work for me. Started out well and then the demon took hold again. I know the thoughts come into ones head but they are lies lies lies. Me..........I'm gonna try my best not to drink at all.

Good luck tonite . Be strong and as Dee said have an escape plan ready if you get overwelmed.

Ainslie

Hi Jaffapoppy,

I liked to drink wine. For a long time people would tell me, "you dont have a problem, its just that you drink wine and thats so strong it gets you drunk so quickly - wine is your problem" great I thought, ill drink beer or rtd's and I wont have a problem. Problem is, 6-8 beers/rtd's in, im bloated, and I want a wine or a shot of something to hurry this whole getting wasted business up.

I can control my drinking, but I dont see the point. Sad but true, nearly 2 years down the track, and if I think about alcohol, its not about savouring the taste of one glass, its about getting that fkd up that I cant feel, I still like the idea of that feeling - but not the life that accompanied it. I dont know how to drink any other way. Could I learn to? Possibly. I'm almost at 2 years sober though, on my first attempt.....theres no way im risking undoing all this hard work.

My only advice would be to make sure you know what you want for yourself before going to any parties. Its so easy to get caught out and make rash decisions in the heat of the moment, especially if your favourite drink is staring right at you. Personally, I kept my life as normal as possible - I didnt stay away from parties, I went to bars to catch up with people - because I think its important to get used to saying NO straight away.

Congratulations on reaching day 14

postparty82

Any thought of being able to enjoy "controlled drinking" for me is the seed that sprouts a full blown relapse. Everyone is different, but its not for me.

I have been able to be around people/ at functions where there is alcohol that i don't drink. I feel a bit out ofplace but it hasnt bothered me that much. As long as I don't drink, thats all that matters.

Jaffapoppy

I have just returned from the birthday get together. There were 6 of us there. I took non-alcoholic ginger beer in a cooler and no one even knew that I was not drinking. I enjoyed three drinks of ginger beer and decined all other offers, not even being tempted. As I left everyone was getting well on the way to being very merry. I had a good time, left earlier than others and feel proud of myself for sticking to my guns.........I am really enjoying being in control. It is a good feeling..........Thanks for your posts.

ninja7

I thought I was a party man. But I know I had no good friends in any parties. I think I had a illusion that I am a popular person in party. After quit drink, I need to make friends with sobriety ppl.

Kmber2010

Glad everything went well. I could not control or moderate drinking for very long because I am an alcoholic. It is that simple. No drinking ever.

Jaffapoppy

Hi Ninja, I lived in Japan from 2001 until 2007 in Nagoya. I never really drank alcohol before living in Japan. I guess that is where I became a social drinker. (from the time I was 32 to 38 yrs old).I like the Izakayas, and the beer in Japan. I think it is good that mostly the Japanese eat when they drink. I often wondered if alcohol is a problem in Japan. I never ever ever saw anyone make trouble or get violet when they had drunk too much in Japan. Certainly there is a lot less alcohol related violence in Japan...I found it odd that you could buy beer in vending machines and drink in public anywhere. That would cause soooooooooo much trouble in Australia. I wish you luck with attaining your goals.

ninja7

Hi, Jaffapoppy! There are lots of social drinkers in Izakaya, where is Japanese pub. I often go there, when I drank. Nagoya is famous for Toyota. As you know, there are very beautiful castle in center of the town. And the people are very friendly. Nice to meet you, Jaffapoppy!

Murray4x5

Hi Jaffa

It appears we're on parallel paths. I went to a barn dance last night on my 14th day and didn't drink either, so I know exactly what you mean about enjoying being in control.

Congratulations!!!

Murray

HarryB

If we could control our drinking then we wouldn't need to think about trying to control it in the first place.

loveon2legs

Hi there! and Congratulations on 14 days!
The controlled drinking thing,never worked for me..tried it a dozen or more times...and always ended up back to full blown heavy heavy drinking...the last time I was arrested for dui...and so started the beginning of my new life....it's now been 175 days didn't think it could be possible...but I'm living proof it really is!!