A work in progress, not perfected.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Humble, tx
Posts: 82
A work in progress, not perfected.
Hi Friends,
I came here for insight, support, and understanding. I get all of this and more. I honestly don't think I could have accomplished letting go of my exabf without y'all. You have helped me to see my own fears and begin to tackle these obstacles. It's been a strange and unfamiliar process.
I've blocked him on social websites, and no longer peek in his emails. I truly am done with obsessing over him and his life.
But... Being the lovely Codie that I am... I've got issues. I hired some young people at work, and fired them. I'm starting 2 new ones today.
I know I had thiss "f&$@ me" sign on my forehead for many years, and I thought I removed it but apparently not true. I use a video surveillance system at work, and when I'm gone I see my employees and the stuff they think they are getting away with. Usually, I try and give them the benefit of the doubt. I always warn them about the CCTV cameras, and thought that would be deterrent enough. But no! So today, I'm willing to let it go. I'm not even telling these new hires! If they can't see the cameras everywhere, then it's not my problem. But I will be watching. My problem is I'm beginning to believe my picker is pretty damaged. I can't seem to pick employees right either. It's also a matter of it only being part time summer work. I see that I'm repeating this old pattern of finding these people who need help ( a job) and I want to help them while improving the buisness. Then they do something stupid like stealing, or smoking, or taking a break and coming back with different eyes, literally one guy went and got stoned and came back to work like nothings wrong. I guess I'm rambling because I have expectations. I expect an employee to work and be honest. I am confused. I feel myself spinning in my own squirrel cage and I'm so sick of this pattern.
So today, I'm starting fresh, I'm going to use my tools, and act
as if these two new gals will be good hires, and help me learn and grow.
Thanks for reading my rant.
I came here for insight, support, and understanding. I get all of this and more. I honestly don't think I could have accomplished letting go of my exabf without y'all. You have helped me to see my own fears and begin to tackle these obstacles. It's been a strange and unfamiliar process.
I've blocked him on social websites, and no longer peek in his emails. I truly am done with obsessing over him and his life.
But... Being the lovely Codie that I am... I've got issues. I hired some young people at work, and fired them. I'm starting 2 new ones today.
I know I had thiss "f&$@ me" sign on my forehead for many years, and I thought I removed it but apparently not true. I use a video surveillance system at work, and when I'm gone I see my employees and the stuff they think they are getting away with. Usually, I try and give them the benefit of the doubt. I always warn them about the CCTV cameras, and thought that would be deterrent enough. But no! So today, I'm willing to let it go. I'm not even telling these new hires! If they can't see the cameras everywhere, then it's not my problem. But I will be watching. My problem is I'm beginning to believe my picker is pretty damaged. I can't seem to pick employees right either. It's also a matter of it only being part time summer work. I see that I'm repeating this old pattern of finding these people who need help ( a job) and I want to help them while improving the buisness. Then they do something stupid like stealing, or smoking, or taking a break and coming back with different eyes, literally one guy went and got stoned and came back to work like nothings wrong. I guess I'm rambling because I have expectations. I expect an employee to work and be honest. I am confused. I feel myself spinning in my own squirrel cage and I'm so sick of this pattern.
So today, I'm starting fresh, I'm going to use my tools, and act
as if these two new gals will be good hires, and help me learn and grow.
Thanks for reading my rant.
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