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Fouled Up Last Night

Old 07-15-2010, 06:09 AM
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Fouled Up Last Night

came on yesterday and introduced myself, last night when I got off work I went straight to the liquor store and bought a pint of bourbon. Crushed it and fell asleep. Today is my beginning again. I am dtermined to beat this demon. Thank you all for your kind words of support yesterday and please dont judge me for my screw up, I am going to change my routine today and see if that curbs the cravings.

thank you all again.
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Old 07-15-2010, 06:12 AM
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I'm not here to judge you, I'm here to offer my support. Changing your routine will help. Go a different way home. Do something different when you get home. A nice walk or something. You CAN beat this. Do'nt give up!
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Old 07-15-2010, 06:14 AM
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Kind people on this site watched me screw my day one up over and over. I just couldnt go one day. I would promise myself all day I will not drink I will not drink then work would finish, I would go home, and drink!! I am on day 21 now. You can do it!!!
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Old 07-15-2010, 06:22 AM
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Hi Mrserious,

I'm glad you're back today. I found this site back in May and I had several false starts. 4 days here, 6 days here, two weeks there. I had not taken a day off of drinking in over three years so I had no recollection of how to spend an evening without drinking. I also had completely forgotten what it was like to wake up not hungover. I drank about the same amount as you but vodka.

Make a point to come to this site every day.

Anyways, the month of May, checkered as it may have been for me, helped me to see what it felt like to not drink and not wake up hungover. After a few false starts I was much more comfortable to get serious about it.

I am around day 30 now. Keep reading and posting today. I lived on this site for the first few days.
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Old 07-15-2010, 06:27 AM
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What worked for me on day 1 was to indulge myself in every single thing I love except booze, whether it was binging on pizza, shoveling ice cream into my mouth, or laying on a throne of pillows with a huge down comforter on me, hogging the TV controller.

I actually did all three every night for the first week.

It may sound a little silly, but I felt so incredibly deprived that night, that I had to overcompensate with everything else.
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Old 07-15-2010, 06:36 AM
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one day at a time sometimes one hour at a time

I would go online today and look up local AA meetings in your area. Most areas have 5:00 or 5:30 meetings, exactly becuase of that after work impulse. I go to a 5:30 meeting every day after work, because my routine was to either go to the bar, or go to the liquor store. Find one that is in a different location that the liquor store. Go to a meeting and share that you are trying to get sober. Doing the same things over and over again, expecting different results is the definition of INSANITY!! Try something new and you may be amazed!

Good luck and try to remember one thing.

Don't quit 5 minutes before the miracle!
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Old 07-15-2010, 06:44 AM
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Wow, as a 32 year old male... Your responses made me a little emotional this morning. I feel like I'm actually part of something here, that's bigger than my addiction. Thank u all so much.
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Old 07-15-2010, 07:01 AM
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I started day one every day for 5 years, now I've not had a drink for 5 months, you can get there your heart is in the right place now it just takes a bit of time for the rest to follow. Keep posting and letting us know how you are
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Old 07-15-2010, 07:13 AM
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No one is judging you here, MrSerious. I think we have all been where you are now.

Do try shaking up your routine, and stay sober today.
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Old 07-15-2010, 07:46 AM
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The first day is the hardest, but once you make that step you will feel such a sense of accomplishment, I hope it is stronger than wanting to drink.

if you can find something that interests you and totally distracts you for a few hours it is most helpful....video games, movies or going out to do something totally unrelated to alcohol....if you feel well enough, physical activity will help you sleep and keep you motivated.
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Old 07-15-2010, 08:18 AM
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Yeah, today I'm gonna take an alterate route home, do my dishes immediately and clean up a bit , then get on my xbox and play this new game I have.. The game is so difficult that I must stay focused and sober to prgress in it.... I think I can do it today without my bourbon.
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Old 07-15-2010, 08:27 AM
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"came on yesterday and introduced myself, last night when I got off work I went straight to the liquor store and bought a pint of bourbon."

That's the robot. Mine came to life when I was about 27, and it took 13 or 14 years for it to be unplugged.

It dawned on me at 6 months that I had never been without alcohol for so long, even before the daily robotic thing appeared. Now that 8 months will be there in a couple of days, it's a definite: never been this long without alcohol since I was legal to drink in 1987.

For the people who are questioning/searching and think that drinking everyday is the requirement for being an alcoholic, that's not true. I started being an alcoholic before the daily robot was there, because of the WAY I drank, the bond that was being formed even though the episodes had a different rhythm and were spread apart and fun was had. Not every person who questions their drinking is necessarily an alcoholic. But it's worth it to put a lot of emphasis on the questioning, because it can turn out to be real. Investigate.

MrSerious, I and others can hear you looking for a way to turn off what I am calling the robot. It's something only the individual has the ability to achieve. It's a scary thought, but there is a comfort in it somewhere too (there was for me). And knowing that lots of strangers have been in their own version of your experience can help.
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Old 07-15-2010, 08:50 AM
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Well if you look by my avatar you will see I registered and started posting here in June, it's mid July and I have been sober a tad over 1 week. In other words, gaining some traction took many spinouts before I could string a week together. I feel a lot better though, and am determined to stay this way. Just keep trying. If you felt really guilty or shameful this am maybe make a note of that and stick it in your pocket...you can use it as a tool against the booze later today.
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Old 07-15-2010, 08:54 AM
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thannks much, between smoking weed, which I have a problem with also, I may have been sober ( not high or drunk) since I was 18..... it's time to actually try.
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Old 07-15-2010, 09:02 AM
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the first week or two when I quit, I got MORE accomplished than I did 3 months previously....I cleaned my house, I did laundry, I decided it was nice to have real groceries that I shopped for (healthy food) and a clean bathroom with fresh folded towels. I now eat breakfast every AM, take vitamins and feel/look 10X better...my hair stopped this massive shedding (I am a female) and is growing back...my hairdresser told me poor nutrition/booze was most likely the cause of it jumping off my head.

i started cooking and organizing my mess of a house and my life....I put my clothes away instead of living out of the dryer.

my home became a pleasant sanctuary...(it was February and bad weather outside). Now that the weather is nice, I am outside doing things you can't do when you are drinking.

Mr.S, you can do this! I amazed myself....in 2009 I was only w/o alcohol 9 days and it was not by choice.
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Old 07-15-2010, 09:18 AM
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MrSerious - I was like the others. I drank for 25 yrs. & in the end it was daily. I came here almost 3 yrs. & it took me a few months to dive in and get the job done. The more I read, the more courage and determination I gathered. The upbeat and non-judgmental people here made me believe the miracle of sobriety was possible.

You have a good attitude, and we know you can do this! Onward you go - walking towards your new life.
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Old 07-15-2010, 09:39 AM
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Yu people effin rock! I've never knwn this type of honest nonjudgemental people ever, thank u all so much. Day 1.
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Old 07-15-2010, 09:55 AM
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Keep your head up. You can do it. I am sure most of us have been in that situation (including me). No one said it would be easy, in fact it is so FREAKING hard, but NOT impossible.

Sending lots of strength, love and support your way.

Andrea (11 days sober)!!!
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Old 07-15-2010, 11:44 AM
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You can do this. Don't give up!
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Old 07-15-2010, 12:05 PM
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No judging from this guy. Those first days are definitely the roughest. But, even though it's cliche, just take it one day at a time. Don't drink just for today. Tomorrow, if you like the way you feel and are proud of yourself for not drinking (I was soooooo proud on Day 2), then do it again, just for the day. Just make sure that when your head hits the pillow, no alcohol has touched your lips. You can do it, and we're all here for you.
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