Sugar82

Last Thursday I found this site & posted my problems for all the world to read. That was hard to do. It made me feel raw and exposed. But I cannot say thank you enough for all the nice encouraging replies I got. That really made me open my eyes to the fact that I need help. I cannot do this on my own and my history has proven that.

I came on here again last Saturday and went to an online meeting. I decided that I was going to have a talk with my hubby about my problem and then arrange to go to a local AA meeting. I still have yet to muster up the courage to talk with my husband. We've been kinda on a rocky road and I'm so scared that he'll react bad to my seeking help for a problem he is in the dark about.

Anyway, I am afraid that I might mess up and drink. This Saturday my hubby is taking me to a concert. We've had this planned for a long time. The problem is that every time we go to a concert I either get plastered or stoned outta my mind. I don't want to do any of that but I still want to go and have a good time.

Why is this so dang hard? Does anyone have any advice on this matter? I think maybe if I can talk to my hubby BEFORE we go then maybe the temptation won't be there 'cause he'll help me. (but he still smokes weed, especially at concerts- but he's been sober for almost seven years)

To me I smoke to get the high feeling that I get when I'm drunk- I cannot speak for him. I hate smoking it but when I'm desperate for that feeling I do. I feel trapped.

P.S. can a person still smoke pot while being in recovery? I am a little confused. He says that many disagreed with him during his stay with AA but he was to to prove a point that pot and alcohol were two different issues.

Anna

No, a person cannot smoke pot, take drugs or drink when in recovery. That's my opinion, anyways.

All I can say, is that I couldn't be around alcohol for a long time when I first stopped drinking. It was too stressful.

If you don't feel comfortable talking to your husband, I wouldn't worry about it at this point. I didn't tell anyone when I decided to stop drinking because I had made promises before that I didn't keep. Just show your family by your actions that you have changed.

Hevyn

Sugar, I remember how reluctant I was to quit, thinking I'd never ever have fun again. How could concerts, the holidays, vacations, ever be the same? Then I realized how not fun drinking had become. It was a habit I clung to long after the fun was over. I was waiting for that old euphoric feeling and it never came - only regret and misery.

Once you prove you don't need it to enjoy yourself, you become stronger and more resolved. It felt strange at first, but I learned to love experiencing concerts and other special times with a clear head. (I honestly remember attending events in the past & having no memory of what happened the next day - how pathetic is that?) No hangover, no guilt afterwards. Glad you posted about this!

cat1961

Sugar - if you already have plans to go to the concert and both go, he would find it rather strange that you don't want to drink. I'd tell him gently that you want to "slow down" and turn that slow down into a screeching hault. However, being exposed to all those elements isn't healthy either if you go and don't drink.

You got a tough call here and would suggest that you just break it to him easy.

checkmybrain

sugar- I'm new here and struggling too, I wish I could be of better advice- all I can say is for me, if I go to a party or gathering sober, it helps to see others drunk to see how they behave. Makes me glad that I'm not behaving the way they are!

Weed and alcohol always went hand in hand for me, literally. And I agree, posting your problems admitting yourself is extremely hard, but an important step.

Kitey

Its a week tomorrow since I had my last Drink, or should I say..had my last Binge..I did have a few drawers off my Husbands Spliff last Saturday which was quite strange without having a drink to accompany it..I didn't enjoy it very much as it makes me paranoid if I'm not plastered first so I will be knocking that on the head too hopefully.( Not that I bother with it, maybe 2 Joints all weekend and none during the week )

My Husband hasnt drank for 4 months due to medication and is doing Great without it even though he enjoys a good Session but unlike me he knows when to stop.

This is just MY thoughts..Get off the Booze first then the rest should follow..

Good Luck, I think we all need it! xx

Dee74

Hi sugar

If you really want to stay sober no power on earth will make you drink or smoke...it's not some nameless monster waiting to pounce...as long as we're committed to doing everything we can to stay sober, we can.

If you're not sure though, that makes it a bit more complicated.

For me, I wasn't married but I had to tell all my friends and family about my problem - or the invitations to party, and the expectations I get drunk and stoned like I always did, would have never stopped.

I guess you have weigh up whats worse - telling your husband now, or not telling him and him wondering why you're not drinking or smoking.

and for me - I destroyed my life as completely on weed as I did on alcohol - I used it in the same way, for the same things, in the same volume....

For me my whole problem was about me wanting to 'get wasted', to find oblivion - I had to deal with that darkness in me - the specific drugs or booze I used to get there were, in a sense, interchangeable, y'know?

D

battypatty

Welcome, Sugar! The first weekend I was sober my husband and I had tickets to Cheech and Chong. It seemed impossible to go without drinking. So, we didn't go. Since then there have been occasions for which I had anxiety about attending because of the trigger effect. I have been sober 10 months and now I can say that most of those situations have not been as difficult as I anticipated they would be. It does get better!!!