trixieisme

I went to an AA meeting last night (my 2nd one this week), and I met this girl that has been going for a while. She offered to be my sponsor when I was ready, and said that I didn't have to make a decision right then and there. So I said I would think about it and let her know. But, I'm not exactly sure what a sponsor does. And what is my role as the sponsee?

Any insight would be much appreciated.

Thanks!

Kristin

smacked

I don't use AA in my recovery but as I understand it, her role is to guide you throught the steps, and your role is to follow her instruction on how to do it.

SereniTee

Smacked is right about what a sponsor does. Many people go to a few more meetings before making any formal decision, but having a sponsor is how you work the AA 12-step program. I am currently approaching step 4 and can vouch that I already feel tons better as it's a program for living rather than just abstaining from drink you learn how to manage your weaknesses and heal. Just attend the meetings a little longer until you are ready and sure that AA is right for you. Why don't you go out for coffee with this woman and see if you get on? Going through the steps is quite a soul searching process and it will help if you connect well with the person helping you.

Good luck

RobbyRobot

Being a sponsor has no exact details as strange as that may seem. Same thing for being a sponsee. The 12th Step and helping others is a good start to understanding the roles and responsibilities of what a sponsor offers those just begining the AA program. The sponsee would best decide who and what is an excellent example of the sobriety they are seeking for themselves.

The relationship between sponsor and sponsee can be what ever is agreed upon. The quality of that relationship will itself be the thing that makes or breaks the deal. If sobriety is the goal then that will be the gift exchanged. Otherwise the relationship will be more about personalities and friendships than about sponsorship. Nothing wrong with good fellowship and friendship of course, but sponsorship goes beyond the satisfactions of friendships, imo.

When choosing a sponsor be sure they are already an example of what you want in sobriety because all the sponsor can give is what they have and nothing more then themselves. Promises mean nothing if there is no accountability. Real experience trumps opinions everytime. Soap boxes are a dime a dozen so don't be intimidated by just anybody preaching what ever to who ever. Best Wishes!

RR

keithj

So, on page 59 of AA's Big Book (1st or any edition), read at nearly every meeting, it says, right before it lists the Steps.

This tells me that the 12 Steps are the program of recovery in AA. They are not part of the program, they are the program. This is what we, the authors, the recovered alcoholics, did to recover.

Those Steps, as written on pg 59 or on the wall at a lot of meetings, are pretty brief. The Big Book contains specific, precise directions for how to do each of those Steps. For instance, there's roughly 52 pages of text explaining what powerless and unmanageable means for Step 1.

Most of us, definitely myself, found it extremely helpful to read and perform those directions with somebody that had already done them. The only goal is to have a spiritual awakening as the result of taking those Steps. It helps to be directed by someone that has already had a spiritual awakening as the result of those Steps.

That's the person we call a sponsor. The relationship can take on all sorts of other facets, as Robby said, but at it's core, I need some help and guidance in taking those Steps.