Hello all, i've just admitted i'm an alcoholic
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 3
Hello all, i've just admitted i'm an alcoholic
Hi everyone. Have been looking at this site for a while now, it's inspirational. I'm 29, male, from the UK. Have been drinking increasingly heavily for 12 years. First 6 years was around 6 pints a night 4 nights a week. It soon progressed into drinking during work, 2 bottles of wine a night, and in the last 2 years and especially the last 6 months has gone onto drinking spirits as soon as wake up until when go to bed. The last 4 weeks has been ridiculous. Up at 4am drinking, get up to go to work, drink during work, come home, drink until fall asleep. Don't even know why I do it - literally.
I'm a phd student at a very good university, from a middle class family, no one has a clue i'm constantly drunk, i perform well at work when drunk, and this scares me, but then I guess you get used to hiding it and functioning over a long period of time.
I have stopped in the past several times but it's always a 3 week pattern. 3 weeks stopping, get very fit at the gym, feel really good, convince myself I don't have a problem then slowly get back into drinking more and more. Now it needs to stop permanently - my relationships are suffering and now my career is - have taken 2 weeks off "on holiday" to give up. The first week I was drunk all the time - on my own, pathetic. Second week i stopped for 5 days and had awful withdrawal symptoms - sweating, nightmares, depression, anxiety etc. So then got drunk again, once, and felt ok. Next morning guilt. Typical. Constant cycle. Am now back again on day 3 and am determined to stop. My post is selfish in that I think it will help if I share with people, even if I don't know them. I need to tell my family and partner, they haven't a clue other than sometimes say i look "tired". It is them I am doing this for, but also for my own health. Am hoping that posting on here and sharing this will give me the extra momentum to get this problem sorted out once and for all.
So basically that's it. Am really at the first step in recovery, just basically admitting it to this forum, and it does feel good.
Any advice would be much appreciated.
Thanks.
I'm a phd student at a very good university, from a middle class family, no one has a clue i'm constantly drunk, i perform well at work when drunk, and this scares me, but then I guess you get used to hiding it and functioning over a long period of time.
I have stopped in the past several times but it's always a 3 week pattern. 3 weeks stopping, get very fit at the gym, feel really good, convince myself I don't have a problem then slowly get back into drinking more and more. Now it needs to stop permanently - my relationships are suffering and now my career is - have taken 2 weeks off "on holiday" to give up. The first week I was drunk all the time - on my own, pathetic. Second week i stopped for 5 days and had awful withdrawal symptoms - sweating, nightmares, depression, anxiety etc. So then got drunk again, once, and felt ok. Next morning guilt. Typical. Constant cycle. Am now back again on day 3 and am determined to stop. My post is selfish in that I think it will help if I share with people, even if I don't know them. I need to tell my family and partner, they haven't a clue other than sometimes say i look "tired". It is them I am doing this for, but also for my own health. Am hoping that posting on here and sharing this will give me the extra momentum to get this problem sorted out once and for all.
So basically that's it. Am really at the first step in recovery, just basically admitting it to this forum, and it does feel good.
Any advice would be much appreciated.
Thanks.
Guest
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Alright Mate. It's good to See a newcomer from the UK. Nice one on 3 days.
I am male, from England and got sober at 23. I am 24 now. I just celebrated 1year sober July 8th.
It is possible to live a life free from alcohol that is so much rewarding and gratifying. However you have to to really want sobriety more than you want to get drunk. If you're honest, open-minded and willing then you should be OK. I know I had to get sober for me and nobody else. It is a bonus that it also rubs off on loved ones lives too and they benefit from my sobriety and recovery. But that isn't why I got sober. I made countless promises to my family and broke them. I had to really want it for me.
The most important thing I think is change. A change in both 'people, places and things' but also just importantly a total change in how you think. Both towards yourself and others as well as life in general. A totally new attitude is required if you're an alcoholic and wish to stay sober.
So how do you get this? I used and continue to use AA, SR + much wisdom from elsewhere.
Once I truly admitted and accepted to my innermost core that I am an alcoholic then I could begin to move forwards 'one day at a time'. I have to take this whole thing 'one day at a time'. Also remember to just make sure that you don't pick up that first drink 'just for today'. The first drink is the one to stay away from.
All The Best
I am male, from England and got sober at 23. I am 24 now. I just celebrated 1year sober July 8th.
It is possible to live a life free from alcohol that is so much rewarding and gratifying. However you have to to really want sobriety more than you want to get drunk. If you're honest, open-minded and willing then you should be OK. I know I had to get sober for me and nobody else. It is a bonus that it also rubs off on loved ones lives too and they benefit from my sobriety and recovery. But that isn't why I got sober. I made countless promises to my family and broke them. I had to really want it for me.
The most important thing I think is change. A change in both 'people, places and things' but also just importantly a total change in how you think. Both towards yourself and others as well as life in general. A totally new attitude is required if you're an alcoholic and wish to stay sober.
So how do you get this? I used and continue to use AA, SR + much wisdom from elsewhere.
Once I truly admitted and accepted to my innermost core that I am an alcoholic then I could begin to move forwards 'one day at a time'. I have to take this whole thing 'one day at a time'. Also remember to just make sure that you don't pick up that first drink 'just for today'. The first drink is the one to stay away from.
All The Best
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome zinc! I'm glad you're here and ready to take your life back. Like everyone says, it can only get worse if we don't do anything about it. I discovered that for myself, too.
3 days is a good start, so just keep taking it one day at a time and hang out here - it's made all the difference for me.
3 days is a good start, so just keep taking it one day at a time and hang out here - it's made all the difference for me.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,777
Welcome to the SR family! 
My only advice would be to have support - whether from this site, AA or another recovery program, or counseling or something else. Also it's a lot simpler and easier to stay sober taking it one day at a time. Just stay sober for today and do it again when tomorrow becomes today. I've been staying sober for seven months now, one day at a time, and am happier than I've been in a long time. This site has been a huge help to me - I hope we can be as much help to you.
My only advice would be to have support - whether from this site, AA or another recovery program, or counseling or something else. Also it's a lot simpler and easier to stay sober taking it one day at a time. Just stay sober for today and do it again when tomorrow becomes today. I've been staying sober for seven months now, one day at a time, and am happier than I've been in a long time. This site has been a huge help to me - I hope we can be as much help to you. 
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Glad to see you are taking action
Welcome to our recovery community...
You might want to explore this link
to see what options are available
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post1588435
Plese do keep posting with us....many of us are
alcoholics who are winning over our addiction...
Welcome to our recovery community...
You might want to explore this link
to see what options are available
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post1588435
Plese do keep posting with us....many of us are
alcoholics who are winning over our addiction...
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Bali, Indonesia
Posts: 645
Hey zinc
congratulations on your admission and day 3! id been abstinent for 6 months before I could admit to being an actual alcoholic! you'll find lots of support here - ive been reading the boards for a couple of years - i rarely post but its comforting to know that theres people ready and willing to chat/help if I need it.
you asked for advice - well one of the most useful things I was told by those that favour the disease concept/model of addiction is that the disease will always "talk" to you - in other words like you mentioned above - you convince yourself you dont have a problem and resume drinking.....i still daydream and come up with ridiculous excuses to drink - i never actually do - its just fun to entertain the idea now and then.
wishing you well
congratulations on your admission and day 3! id been abstinent for 6 months before I could admit to being an actual alcoholic! you'll find lots of support here - ive been reading the boards for a couple of years - i rarely post but its comforting to know that theres people ready and willing to chat/help if I need it.
you asked for advice - well one of the most useful things I was told by those that favour the disease concept/model of addiction is that the disease will always "talk" to you - in other words like you mentioned above - you convince yourself you dont have a problem and resume drinking.....i still daydream and come up with ridiculous excuses to drink - i never actually do - its just fun to entertain the idea now and then.
wishing you well
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 275
Well best of luck to you, I have been doing the same thing since I first tried to quit in 2008...2-3 weeks without beer and I'm suddenly cured, and here I go again, at least 25 beers a day until I'm miserable...I'm determined this time and am on my 6th day. I feel better than the first few days, but still big time irritable/bouts of sadness. I'm new here as well and find this site to be a huge help, very kind people here. One bit of advice I can offer is not to beat yourself up too much as far as trying so many times and going back out...we have to keep trying. Support like this is crucial I have found. Keep posting
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Originally Posted by coming_clean 
keep posting, keep reading....you'll be fine in time...
Nothing could be further from the truth in my experience. My experience is that once alcoholism had progressed to the point described, I was locked in to that chronic cycle of quitting, relapsing, feeling that unbearable internal discomfort, relapsing. Over and over.
Originally Posted by AA BB 1st
They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks-drinks which they see others taking with impunity. After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of his recovery.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
Hi Zinc
I think you already know what to do
You should also check out the links that Carol provided.
Action is the key as far as I'm concerned - I did nothing with my problem for years and it just grew worse....
Whatever you do - counselling, recovery group, reading and posting here, or whatever - it's my experience that it all helps, and that we can indeed feel better.
Welcome
D
I think you already know what to do
I need to tell my family and partner, they haven't a clue other than sometimes say i look "tired". It is them I am doing this for, but also for my own health. Am hoping that posting on here and sharing this will give me the extra momentum to get this problem sorted out once and for all.
Action is the key as far as I'm concerned - I did nothing with my problem for years and it just grew worse....
Whatever you do - counselling, recovery group, reading and posting here, or whatever - it's my experience that it all helps, and that we can indeed feel better.
Welcome
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 22
Originally Posted by zinc
I have stopped in the past several times but it's always a 3 week pattern. 3 weeks stopping, get very fit at the gym, feel really good, convince myself I don't have a problem then slowly get back into drinking more and more.
Yours in running shoes,
Eliot
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 1,591
"My post is selfish in that I think it will help if I share with people, even if I don't know them. I need to tell my family and partner, they haven't a clue other than sometimes say i look "tired". It is them I am doing this for, but also for my own health."
Zinc, one thing I can think of in respone to that is that I think it is good to be selfish about stopping. It has to be for you first. The good in it for others will follow.
Zinc, one thing I can think of in respone to that is that I think it is good to be selfish about stopping. It has to be for you first. The good in it for others will follow.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 3
Thank you all for your comments and also for all those posts on this forum. Really is inspiring to listen to people in the same boat talking so openly with the same problem. What a site! Day 4 now, actually feeling ok, bit jittery of course, but this time i will do this. What an eye opener. Thank you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 3
Originally Posted by NEOMARXIST
Alright Mate. It's good to See a newcomer from the UK. Nice one on 3 days.
I am male, from England and got sober at 23. I am 24 now. I just celebrated 1year sober July 8th.
It is possible to live a life free from alcohol that is so much rewarding and gratifying. However you have to to really want sobriety more than you want to get drunk. If you're honest, open-minded and willing then you should be OK. I know I had to get sober for me and nobody else. It is a bonus that it also rubs off on loved ones lives too and they benefit from my sobriety and recovery. But that isn't why I got sober. I made countless promises to my family and broke them. I had to really want it for me.
The most important thing I think is change. A change in both 'people, places and things' but also just importantly a total change in how you think. Both towards yourself and others as well as life in general. A totally new attitude is required if you're an alcoholic and wish to stay sober.
So how do you get this? I used and continue to use AA, SR + much wisdom from elsewhere.
Once I truly admitted and accepted to my innermost core that I am an alcoholic then I could begin to move forwards 'one day at a time'. I have to take this whole thing 'one day at a time'. Also remember to just make sure that you don't pick up that first drink 'just for today'. The first drink is the one to stay away from.
All The Best
I am male, from England and got sober at 23. I am 24 now. I just celebrated 1year sober July 8th.
It is possible to live a life free from alcohol that is so much rewarding and gratifying. However you have to to really want sobriety more than you want to get drunk. If you're honest, open-minded and willing then you should be OK. I know I had to get sober for me and nobody else. It is a bonus that it also rubs off on loved ones lives too and they benefit from my sobriety and recovery. But that isn't why I got sober. I made countless promises to my family and broke them. I had to really want it for me.
The most important thing I think is change. A change in both 'people, places and things' but also just importantly a total change in how you think. Both towards yourself and others as well as life in general. A totally new attitude is required if you're an alcoholic and wish to stay sober.
So how do you get this? I used and continue to use AA, SR + much wisdom from elsewhere.
Once I truly admitted and accepted to my innermost core that I am an alcoholic then I could begin to move forwards 'one day at a time'. I have to take this whole thing 'one day at a time'. Also remember to just make sure that you don't pick up that first drink 'just for today'. The first drink is the one to stay away from.
All The Best
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Yorkshire, UK
Posts: 3
Good luck and keep trying!
Listen (read) to everyone on here - we're all different but all the same. I use AA very irregularly and read here. I see my GP (did this morning and he now wants to cut down to seeing me in 3 months time as I have progressed so well - at last). I will just keep reading here and carry on trying to live as a non drinker - and never forgetting that this thing can bite me in the arse when I least expect it.
Well done so far mate - from another in the UK
Listen (read) to everyone on here - we're all different but all the same. I use AA very irregularly and read here. I see my GP (did this morning and he now wants to cut down to seeing me in 3 months time as I have progressed so well - at last). I will just keep reading here and carry on trying to live as a non drinker - and never forgetting that this thing can bite me in the arse when I least expect it.
Well done so far mate - from another in the UK
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: The Present
Posts: 425
Welcome here Zinc!
Your three-week stop-start cycle resonates with me. And I battled to break the cycle that led from running marathons to running an an all-night bar tab. Once I ran a half marathon while I was way over the legal limit and could have been arrested for RUI (Running Under the Influence). Eventually (after decades of failure) I managed to break the cycle by changing my attitude toward alcohol and changing my daily habits. The Irresistable Can of Beer, which occupied pride of place in my Trophy Cabinet of Cherished Soulmates for decades, became The Grim Reaper, a companion to be avoided at all costs. My attitude has changed, because I know that if I reach for a beer I'll be grabbing a sickle. Like Neo said, you have to want to be sober more than you want to drink. When I stopped drinking, I also radically changed my normal daily routine, which also helped a lot. Having lived in London and sampled the pull of the pubs there, it wasn't easy stopping, but it was worth it. Good Luck!
Your three-week stop-start cycle resonates with me. And I battled to break the cycle that led from running marathons to running an an all-night bar tab. Once I ran a half marathon while I was way over the legal limit and could have been arrested for RUI (Running Under the Influence). Eventually (after decades of failure) I managed to break the cycle by changing my attitude toward alcohol and changing my daily habits. The Irresistable Can of Beer, which occupied pride of place in my Trophy Cabinet of Cherished Soulmates for decades, became The Grim Reaper, a companion to be avoided at all costs. My attitude has changed, because I know that if I reach for a beer I'll be grabbing a sickle. Like Neo said, you have to want to be sober more than you want to drink. When I stopped drinking, I also radically changed my normal daily routine, which also helped a lot. Having lived in London and sampled the pull of the pubs there, it wasn't easy stopping, but it was worth it. Good Luck!
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