katie53

Well, Monday ad goes to Racine, Wi, for 3 months of rehab in the womens prison system. She has been in jail since April for breaking probation. It could have been 5 yrs in prison, but her P.O. is giving her a break. The last 4 months have been repeat letters of days gone by while in jail. One thing that bothers me as its repeat behavior. She compliments herself over and over. She claims she's theone who keeps every one motivated in jail, that she always tries to see the positive side of things, the the guards all like her , everyone told her they will miss her. At times I feel this is one of her problems. She needs to climb down from her pedestal. Does anyone agree or am i all wrong?

ladyamalthea

Honestly, IMO, it's kinda hard to comment on that without knowing much more... maybe she's trying to put you at ease? Maybe she runs out of things to say?

Either way, if this is something she needs to work on, I'm sure the counselors at the rehab will spot it and help her work on that. It's their jobs to help her clean up. In the mean time, why not focus on doing what you can for your own benefit?

katie53

i guess i'm at a point that i can't seem to get out of. I just don't have the "hope" I used to have. She's done this everytime she was in jail or rehab. i "think" she was clean for about 8 months before this jail time and during that time she had a very high opinion of herself,even with co-workers. She was not well liked, but she didn't seem to care. At the last rehab her counseler thought she was a very positive person and very motivated. Two weeks out and she was back to where she started. She was keeping in contact with all the wrong people while in rehab. She had everyone "snowballed". Maybe I'm telling myself she will never change so I don't feel so crushed when she does go back to using. Why have I lost so much trust? it's to the point I don't care one way or the other anymore.

ladyamalthea

Why have I lost so much trust?

Sounds like SHE is the one who has lost YOUR trust. Not the other way around. And that's what addicts do. They lie, cheat, steal, or whatever else it takes to get that next fix.

it's to the point I don't care one way or the other anymore.
IMHO, now is the perfect time to be focusing on you. When's the last time you put yourself at the top of your priority list? If anyone is going to be able to convince her to go into recovery, it's the people at the rehab. So, while they are doing their jobs, take a load off for yourself and rejuvenate. After all, if she does decide to become a recovering addict, wouldn't you rather have some strength left to support her in that, as opposed to allowing her addiction to take what you have left? The worst thing you can do right now is sacrifice yourself for someone who is not willing to take care of themselves.

So, as much as being frustrated hurts, try to channel it into some positive reactions. At least that way you know there is some kind of light at the end of the tunnel.

Ann

Katie, meetings helped me find my balance and turn my fears into faith. Many of us found a new and better way to live, through the support and guidance of a sponsor and home group.

Maybe give them a try, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Hugs

outtolunch

The more we obsess over what's wrong with other people, the less we pay attention to what's wrong with us.

Spiritual Seeker

May she be ready to do things differently in her new placement and get to recovery.