Three Months Since Visiting SR/Sobriety
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 22
Three Months Since Visiting SR/Sobriety
Ok. I'm back. Back to thinking, "I need to (am ready to) stop." Aw heck. I went to my very first AA meeting a few months ago - did not go back. I'm back to a point in my life where my mood and attitude says, "Eliot, come on man - enough is enough, isn't it?" (Generic thoughts and feelings of "But I CAN'T stop - DON'T want to stop!" wash over me in a wave.) That said. Ok. Let's get serious. I need to go to my second AA meeting, I know this.
Getting started with sobriety has got to be the hardest part...!!
Yours in "Hey everyone I'm back!",
Eliot.
Getting started with sobriety has got to be the hardest part...!!
Yours in "Hey everyone I'm back!",
Eliot.
Yes, it is hard, Eliot.
I remember my husband being totally frustrated with me, and asking 'Is it that you can't stop or you won't stop?' And, full of despair, I said, 'Both'. I don't ever want to feel like that again.
Welcome back!
I remember my husband being totally frustrated with me, and asking 'Is it that you can't stop or you won't stop?' And, full of despair, I said, 'Both'. I don't ever want to feel like that again.
Welcome back!
I don't ever want to feel like that again.
How well I know that feeling! I wanted to stop but didn't want to stop - very confusing to me as well as family who worried about me. It IS possible Eliot. I finally 'got it' after all my trying and failing - I finally got it. And I was always relapsing. Always starting over. So if I can do it, you can.
Welcome back!
Hi Eliot - I know what it's like to go back to drinking and end up with the same old results (or worse). I didn't want to quit either. Worse yet, I didn't know if I could. But I wanted to WANT to quit. And lurking around SR convinced me that there wasn't a middle choice anymore. Either start getting sober one hour at a time, or get worse. I couldn't pretend anymore that I'd be able to control it.
It takes some effort, for sure, but at least you get something good from it. With alcohol, you only get slow destruction and misery.
Glad you're back. Keep taking it one day at a time!
It takes some effort, for sure, but at least you get something good from it. With alcohol, you only get slow destruction and misery.
Glad you're back. Keep taking it one day at a time!
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
I guess you are finding that an alcoholic and drinking just doesn't work out. If you wish to actually be able to live a life worth living rather than a life of shame, worry, paranoia, hopelessness, bad stuff happening. A life of alcoholism basically.
I have over a year sober now. I find that taking this whole thing one day at a time has really helped and continues to help me. I try to focus on the present day and find that the future has worked itself out just nicely. I also don't dwell on the past and try to keep my thinking out of the mould of "I, Self, Me" ie- The ISM of alcoholISM.
I realised that alcoholism truly is in the person and not in the bottle. So I needed to change ME if I was going to stay sober and be happy, contented and grateful. I use AA, SR + much wisdom from elsewhere too.
All The Best. Peace.
Glad to see you back. I battled for years over being unable to stop to not wanting to stop. It was that voice in my head that after maybe a hard night of drinking or a few days sober that told me....you are out of control but you need to drink. I wouldn't even allow myself for a very long time to assess the damage causing by drinking. I would just crave and yearn for it and it was about 90% mental. It was in my head that I had to drink to actually live and I would try to cut back....
You recognize these feelings and its the start of the hopefully something great and new. While I feel amazing resolve in my sobriety it took me 10 years of trying and stopping and starting and it seemed as years went on the effects of drinking became more negative and more painful. Drinking brought me no joy.....I would fear each day that I wouldn't have enough supply to see me through. When making a grocery list....I would put the booze first and yes...it was as much of my daily routine as sleeping and well....eating seemed to disappear.
Hang in there friend and know that each of us have been there. Sobriety is achievable and getting a good program of recovery in place is key.
You recognize these feelings and its the start of the hopefully something great and new. While I feel amazing resolve in my sobriety it took me 10 years of trying and stopping and starting and it seemed as years went on the effects of drinking became more negative and more painful. Drinking brought me no joy.....I would fear each day that I wouldn't have enough supply to see me through. When making a grocery list....I would put the booze first and yes...it was as much of my daily routine as sleeping and well....eating seemed to disappear.
Hang in there friend and know that each of us have been there. Sobriety is achievable and getting a good program of recovery in place is key.
Knowing you have a problem is just the start. The thought of not drinking again used to SCARE THE CRAP OUT OF ME!!! That is why I would delude myself into thinking I could be a moderate drinker, because stopping just was not something that I thought was a possibility. Now the thought of never drinking again doesn't scare me, but knowing how hard I will have to work to make that happen scares me,lol. You can do it though, just gotta want to. Welcome back.
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