Is this addiction?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: MI
Posts: 3
Is this addiction?
This is a rather.. Um.. Strangeee "drug" you could say...
I was talking to my friend about today, and he told me "You're probably addicted.."
SO heres what i told him...
Kitty: you know its weird though.. because when I'm *around it* Its like.. I come in early just to *be around it*, EVERY DAY. Should I not do that?
Friend: Why not?
Kitty: Cuz its every day.. It seems... i duno, a bit much maybe?
Friend: So? If it makes you happy.
Kitty: I duno, but its like, when im *around it* its not as amazing as my excitedness thinks its gunna be.. I mean, dont get me wrong its AMAZING, but SOMETHING IS telling me that its gunna be like ... only with something MORE, something SIGNIFICANT happening that im not sure what it is, or if it even exists. IM not sure.
Friend: Thats how it is with drug addicts.. The Craving is more intense than the actual doing of it.
Kitty: *Epiphany* Oh... Thats sort of how this is...
Kitty: I feel bad telling you this, you probably think im super weird now.. or something.
Friend: Why?
Kitty: because its bad..... addiction..
Friend: Its ok, you'll get over it *pat*
Kitty: Yeah ill try.. im kinda afraid though, that what if im subconsciously only doing it for the high? I Mean.. I think im not. I Dont think i am. .becuase... I care about *other aspects of the situation*
Friend: I know.
Is this really what addiction is?
I cant stop thinking about it.. all the time.. and its weird cuz the CRAVING for it IS worse than the satisfaction i get from "being around it"
if sooooooooooooooo what do i doo? :O
and nothing religious pls? XD
<3
I was talking to my friend about today, and he told me "You're probably addicted.."
SO heres what i told him...
Kitty: you know its weird though.. because when I'm *around it* Its like.. I come in early just to *be around it*, EVERY DAY. Should I not do that?
Friend: Why not?
Kitty: Cuz its every day.. It seems... i duno, a bit much maybe?
Friend: So? If it makes you happy.
Kitty: I duno, but its like, when im *around it* its not as amazing as my excitedness thinks its gunna be.. I mean, dont get me wrong its AMAZING, but SOMETHING IS telling me that its gunna be like ... only with something MORE, something SIGNIFICANT happening that im not sure what it is, or if it even exists. IM not sure.
Friend: Thats how it is with drug addicts.. The Craving is more intense than the actual doing of it.
Kitty: *Epiphany* Oh... Thats sort of how this is...
Kitty: I feel bad telling you this, you probably think im super weird now.. or something.
Friend: Why?
Kitty: because its bad..... addiction..
Friend: Its ok, you'll get over it *pat*
Kitty: Yeah ill try.. im kinda afraid though, that what if im subconsciously only doing it for the high? I Mean.. I think im not. I Dont think i am. .becuase... I care about *other aspects of the situation*
Friend: I know.
Is this really what addiction is?
I cant stop thinking about it.. all the time.. and its weird cuz the CRAVING for it IS worse than the satisfaction i get from "being around it"
if sooooooooooooooo what do i doo? :O
and nothing religious pls? XD
<3
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
Hi Kitty's Fabric
well...I think obsessing about a drug and having an expectation about its effects greater than the reality is probably common to most of us.
I don't know what drug you're using but generally speaking I think there are other indicators which are even more pointed - like continued use despite ill health, harmful consequences or injury; the inability to limit yourself; physical illness or emotional upheaval (irritability) when you do stop; and the need to increase the amount to feel the effects....
Ever bailed on responsibilities to get high, or ever put drugs before relationships? Ever had legal trouble because of your use?
You get the drift.
None of that is conclusive - just pulling stuff off the top of my head from my own experiences.
I think the fact you've come here shows you're worried about it enough to consider it a problem.
What do you do about it? I dunno.
I had to stop my drug, alcohol, because it controlled every facet of my life and it nearly killed me.
I think most people here would agree their lives are richer for giving up their drug of choice.
If that sounds ok to you, then read around a little - there's a lot of good people here and a lot of different approaches.
This place helped save my life - maybe it can be good for you too?
Welcome aboard
D
well...I think obsessing about a drug and having an expectation about its effects greater than the reality is probably common to most of us.
I don't know what drug you're using but generally speaking I think there are other indicators which are even more pointed - like continued use despite ill health, harmful consequences or injury; the inability to limit yourself; physical illness or emotional upheaval (irritability) when you do stop; and the need to increase the amount to feel the effects....
Ever bailed on responsibilities to get high, or ever put drugs before relationships? Ever had legal trouble because of your use?
You get the drift.
None of that is conclusive - just pulling stuff off the top of my head from my own experiences.
I think the fact you've come here shows you're worried about it enough to consider it a problem.
What do you do about it? I dunno.
I had to stop my drug, alcohol, because it controlled every facet of my life and it nearly killed me.
I think most people here would agree their lives are richer for giving up their drug of choice.
If that sounds ok to you, then read around a little - there's a lot of good people here and a lot of different approaches.
This place helped save my life - maybe it can be good for you too?
Welcome aboard
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: MI
Posts: 3
er, its not really a drug...
But the obsession is similar to that of a drug... says my friend..
And i dont put... a lot of things before it.
I'll skip on laundry....
but nothing like work.
Heck, its AT work... but i wont skip on work to be around it. If Im headed towards something around it, i might glance look around to make sure its still there and whatnot, but....
Ill never skip work to do it.
I'll stay AFTER work to do it.. or go in EARLY, but..... its only on the days i know its gunna be available.
and i dont have any responsibilies at home to go home to.... Besides laundry..
Otherwise i just sit at my PC and play MMOs, lol.
thanks ^^
But the obsession is similar to that of a drug... says my friend..
And i dont put... a lot of things before it.
I'll skip on laundry....
but nothing like work.
Heck, its AT work... but i wont skip on work to be around it. If Im headed towards something around it, i might glance look around to make sure its still there and whatnot, but....
Ill never skip work to do it.
I'll stay AFTER work to do it.. or go in EARLY, but..... its only on the days i know its gunna be available.
and i dont have any responsibilies at home to go home to.... Besides laundry..
Otherwise i just sit at my PC and play MMOs, lol.
thanks ^^
Heathen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: La La Land, USA
Posts: 2,567
Originally Posted by anvilhead 
why can't you just say what IT is rather than being so elusive? are we talking food, video games, masturbation??? what? we deal much better with facts here........
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: MI
Posts: 3
Thats what makes it embarrassing. I know its completely anonymous, but, Im the type of person who overthinks everything...
and IRL im super omega shy and cant talk to hardly anyone...
always embarrased and shy and afraid of saying something weird.. It doesnt matter that we're 100% anonymous, its the fact im saying anything at all, lol. Its weird, i know.
Cuz it's not really a drug i put into myself, its more of a chemical substance naturally released that I have no control over..
Which I think makes it somewhat harder to overcome, because it's not exactly -my- fault....
i guess this is probably the wrong type of forum, actually, lol.
sorry o.o;
and IRL im super omega shy and cant talk to hardly anyone...
always embarrased and shy and afraid of saying something weird.. It doesnt matter that we're 100% anonymous, its the fact im saying anything at all, lol. Its weird, i know.
Cuz it's not really a drug i put into myself, its more of a chemical substance naturally released that I have no control over..
Which I think makes it somewhat harder to overcome, because it's not exactly -my- fault....
i guess this is probably the wrong type of forum, actually, lol.
sorry o.o;
Heathen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: La La Land, USA
Posts: 2,567
Kitty..people are here fighting for their lives. The love and support that is shared here is unbelievable. I have no idea what you think you're addicted to, and it doesn't matter. I'm sorry if this reads harsh, but I can't stand when people post here knowing we are a bunch of addicts, or loved ones of addicts and decide its a good place to play games.. "ooh what will the addicts/drunks say". People provide genuine concern for other members, even with little riddles like this. Please don't play games here. Maybe I'm way off base here, and for that I apologize but this seems like a 'funny'. Please see a doctor or therapist if you're concerned about addiction, that is always the best first step.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
Kitty
I think sometimes people forget just how hard, scary and overwhelming it all was to come here and post for the first time.
I fudged a lot of issues and details too - until I learned to trust the folks here. Silly now I look back, but there you go.
If your problem is any kind of substance abuse you're in the right place.
If it's some other kind of addiction..,and there are a lot of them - both physical and mental...I know there's bound to be help, and probably a web forum, out there somewhere for you.
D
I think sometimes people forget just how hard, scary and overwhelming it all was to come here and post for the first time.
I fudged a lot of issues and details too - until I learned to trust the folks here. Silly now I look back, but there you go.
If your problem is any kind of substance abuse you're in the right place.
If it's some other kind of addiction..,and there are a lot of them - both physical and mental...I know there's bound to be help, and probably a web forum, out there somewhere for you.
D
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Regardless of what "it" is..... what you described (Kitty) is a mental obsession. Obsession doesn't allllllllways lead to addiction but all addiction comes with mental obsession (make sense?).
For some folks, their addiction is food. The obsess about it (mental obsession), once they start to eat they crave more and seemingly "can't stop" (physical craving) and when they're not eating.....or over-eating.......they feel like crap, out of control, worthless, unhappy, "discontent" (that's what the AA book calls a "spiritual malady").
You combine those 3: obsession, craving, spiritual malady and I don't care what the it is, you've got yourself an addict, alcoholic, etc.
Your fears of being open are totally understandable.....I had 'em too.....but this community, or most any "recovery community" is a place you can feel safe. I'll admit, the first time I talked openly, face to face, about masturbation (as anvilhead used as an example) in front of men and women I didn't really know..........it was "challenging" for me (lol.....that's the understatement of the century). Once I realized that everything I said was not only NOT unique to me but stuff everyone else was trying to deal with themselves and they were glaaaaad i brought it up, it started to get easier.
For some folks, their addiction is food. The obsess about it (mental obsession), once they start to eat they crave more and seemingly "can't stop" (physical craving) and when they're not eating.....or over-eating.......they feel like crap, out of control, worthless, unhappy, "discontent" (that's what the AA book calls a "spiritual malady").
You combine those 3: obsession, craving, spiritual malady and I don't care what the it is, you've got yourself an addict, alcoholic, etc.
Your fears of being open are totally understandable.....I had 'em too.....but this community, or most any "recovery community" is a place you can feel safe. I'll admit, the first time I talked openly, face to face, about masturbation (as anvilhead used as an example) in front of men and women I didn't really know..........it was "challenging" for me (lol.....that's the understatement of the century). Once I realized that everything I said was not only NOT unique to me but stuff everyone else was trying to deal with themselves and they were glaaaaad i brought it up, it started to get easier.
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