angelinashoebox

The trial date was set for june 14.....Was told by a woman I talked to in my new place Oh it coulbnt have been that bad and she had worse things happen to her. I was becoming very guilt ridden and scared.She told me the defense attorney was going to rip me apart. Phoned victim services terrified. Met with the crown attorney and was told he would help me settle out of court...said because it was only me giving evidence and I wasnt physically hurt that bad it could be dissmimissed. I said I always only wanted him to get help. He was given probation.....I told my doctor he said I didnt...became depressed because I didnt have the backbone to testify...my other doc the pyciatrist changed my meds to help me get through this( Pristiq is the new drug I thought I was going to have a heart attack called 911 blood pressure went sky high
They said It could have been a number of things....All the years of mental verbal and physical abuse Its like it never happened because I was to ashamed to tell anyone... the crown asked why did you stay ? I have a mental disorder who was going to believe me His ex wife took him to court and he used to say to me there going to ask you why you stayed It couldnt have been that bad....and he had a good lawyer and it was dismissed .I went to the beer store bought 4 beers and drank them I started to lose it crying etc I got in my car which was unsafe to begin with and did the most irresponsible and unforgivable thing I drove my car the bad tire blew...I got into an accident and was charged with Dui shame shame on me I hit a stop sign. I am grateful I didnt hurt some one I am so remorseful I have screwed up bad I had a good driving record Now I will have to deal with the consiquences I have never been finger printed before or broke the law

Pelican

I'm confused by your run-on sentences.

I am sorry that this has taken so long to be resolved. I hope that he is now your ex and there is not any contact with him.

Good on you for seeking help from your medical and psychiatric doctors.

About the DUI:
Are you ready to get help?
4 beers and anti-depressants, you need to be honest with yourself and your doctors.

Hi, I'm known as Pelican, and I am a recovering alcoholic.

wicked

Of course this was unsafe and irresponsible, but not unforgivable. You seem to want to hurt yourself in some way. Yes, there will be consequences, but if you have never been in trouble before, I am sure it wont be as bad as you are thinking.

Now, I must tell you, My name is Beth and I am an alcoholic. I, too, have a major depressive disorder. I am being successfully treated now, but I was in misery for many many years. I drove drunk too many times to count, and it is only through sheer luck and the grace of my hp that i never hurt anyone, or got in an accident.

Angelina, can you look at this accident as your "bottom" so to speak? Your bottom as far as depression is concerned? Trying to drink away the shame and pain will not work, and it will only hurt you.

Please continue to work with your doctors and tell them how badly you are feeling. find some abuse survivors groups and talk about your pain, or find a therapist to talk one on one. you can survive this, and learn to thrive.

You can do it Angelina, I did.

Beth

angelinashoebox

I am so grateful for the replies. Sorry about the run on sentences. I will try to clarify a bit better. I met with the crown attorney on the friday about his advice on settling out of court.The following mon the court day, victim services called me and said a peace bond was in place and the case was dismissed .I started crying and felt like it didnt happen .I replied to her saying I would have testifyed. all the years of physical mental and verbal abuse. she suggessted therapy. I was very confused and started to beat myself up ,coward etc. On the thurs of that week she phoned me and said oh it was probation and he admitted to something and it was not dismissed. Started to feel really confused. Before the trial my pychiatrist changed my meds to some thing new pristiq from effexor xr .My arm went numb and my speech became slurred and my heart was pounding I called the ambulance and my blood pressure was sky high thay said my body was not handling the switch and to call my pyciatrist,( should have been weaned of one and gradually start the new one) called my pcciatrist and he doubled the dose .I still feel physically sick.2 weeks before the trial my daughter from previous marriage. She's 22yearsold came to me and said her fathers wages were guranshhed and wanted to know why . I told her I didn't know,then it hit me He claimed he gave me spousal support and he didnt .I reported it because the revenue service said I didnt claim this income. I still felt it best not to tell her .I felt like I was being hit with a lot of things and had trouble coping.
On june 21 I went to the beer store and bought 4 beers and drank them I phoned her father when she wasnt home and told him I wanted to come over .He said you have been drinking, surprisedly, pause, come on over. I was going to confront him about what he was putting our daughter through I was so stupid! Liquid courage. The rest is dui, arrested, and total remorse. I screwed up.I am not much of a drinker and am an adult child of an alcoholic. My mother died when I was 12 and my father delt with his geif by drinking alot He was so lost. My mother was a social drinker,occasional. He never remarried. I have had 3 serious relationships in my life 1 alcoholic and drug addict and abusive. 2 alcoholic pot user and abusive and would make me drink and laugh at me.(daughters father) 3 and final alcoholic and physically abuse finally had the guts to go to police and a shelter. He is the one I had to go to court about on june 14. I live with my dog and am trying not to crash again like I did 18 years ago. ptss never could get over mom dying.... and leaving me I was a sickly child and weighed 2lbs and a bit at birth.She said I could have fit into her size 6 shoebox. Hence the nickname angelinashoebox. It was my family doc who didnt want to get involved. I have had the same pychiatrist for14 years and am very honest with him. because I have learned therapy doesnt work unless your completely honest.