One month -- a bit lost
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Southern UK
Posts: 18
One month -- a bit lost
Hi all,
I now have one month of sobriety under my belt. I am both happy and relieved about that. But I must admit that I find it difficult to see the road ahead. Or perhaps I should say "feel" instead of see. What I mean is that I don't have the feeling of how my sober life will/can function, much less be totally awesome. One has to be ambitious, right?
Intellectually I know the path is sobriety, recovery, exercise, nutrition, taking up new interests, re-establishing a social life, making new life choices including some scary ones, etc. But emotionally I am navigating based on a mixture of faith and common sense. But one thing is for sure, the answer doesn't lie at the bottom of a bottle. If it did, I would have found it years ago -- LOL.
For recovery, I am trying to use the SMART program. I find that approach very appealing to my personality type. I am trying to use some of the techniques for changing some of my unhealthy beliefs, and it does work at the time. But then something happens out of the blue, and I get an emotional punch to the stomach. It is easy to lose faith at least temporarily when that happens. But I assume that recovery is no dance on roses for any of us. I have spent a lot of time in my old alcoholic way of functioning, and it would be unrealistic to expect to be able to leave it behind that quickly.
One comfort that always work for me though is knowing that regardless how bad the day may have been, when I wake up in the morning, I always feel so much better.
I have come to the conclusion that I could work my recovery much better and therefore I have to take responsibility for the feeling of struggling that I have been having. There are two main things here. I get quite irritable in the late afternoon. Perhaps that is because it was when alcohol would start switching off my emotions. Anyway, I know that if I go for a run, I can almost get rid of that irritability. I just need to give myself a good swift kick to my posterior region and go do it!
The other thing is that because I don't attend meetings, it is all too easy to not work on my recovery and stay emotionally connected to the journey I am on and why it is so vital for me to take that journey. I have been thinking that might be the reason for AA's “90 meetings in 90 days” that I read about. Anyway, I now schedule half an hour every evening for reading the SMART materials, doing some of the SMART exercises, and reading these very useful forums.
I would love to hear whether my experience of 30 days sober sounds familiar to anyone.
Thanks for reading.
I now have one month of sobriety under my belt. I am both happy and relieved about that. But I must admit that I find it difficult to see the road ahead. Or perhaps I should say "feel" instead of see. What I mean is that I don't have the feeling of how my sober life will/can function, much less be totally awesome. One has to be ambitious, right?
Intellectually I know the path is sobriety, recovery, exercise, nutrition, taking up new interests, re-establishing a social life, making new life choices including some scary ones, etc. But emotionally I am navigating based on a mixture of faith and common sense. But one thing is for sure, the answer doesn't lie at the bottom of a bottle. If it did, I would have found it years ago -- LOL.
For recovery, I am trying to use the SMART program. I find that approach very appealing to my personality type. I am trying to use some of the techniques for changing some of my unhealthy beliefs, and it does work at the time. But then something happens out of the blue, and I get an emotional punch to the stomach. It is easy to lose faith at least temporarily when that happens. But I assume that recovery is no dance on roses for any of us. I have spent a lot of time in my old alcoholic way of functioning, and it would be unrealistic to expect to be able to leave it behind that quickly.
One comfort that always work for me though is knowing that regardless how bad the day may have been, when I wake up in the morning, I always feel so much better.
I have come to the conclusion that I could work my recovery much better and therefore I have to take responsibility for the feeling of struggling that I have been having. There are two main things here. I get quite irritable in the late afternoon. Perhaps that is because it was when alcohol would start switching off my emotions. Anyway, I know that if I go for a run, I can almost get rid of that irritability. I just need to give myself a good swift kick to my posterior region and go do it!
The other thing is that because I don't attend meetings, it is all too easy to not work on my recovery and stay emotionally connected to the journey I am on and why it is so vital for me to take that journey. I have been thinking that might be the reason for AA's “90 meetings in 90 days” that I read about. Anyway, I now schedule half an hour every evening for reading the SMART materials, doing some of the SMART exercises, and reading these very useful forums.
I would love to hear whether my experience of 30 days sober sounds familiar to anyone.
Thanks for reading.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
Thank you for your post Omega,
Congratulations on your month of sobriety. I'm behind you by about a week but wow, that takes a lot of work. Keep it up.
I can relate to your post. Sort of like, "okay, what now?" I also get irritable in the late afternoon and the exercise definitely takes that away. Part of my recovery has been 23 trips to the gym in 23 days or something like that.
I also kept trying to find life's answers at the bottom of the bottle but could never find them either. LOL. Your post made me giggle.
Keep up the good work and keep us posted.
Congratulations on your month of sobriety. I'm behind you by about a week but wow, that takes a lot of work. Keep it up.
I can relate to your post. Sort of like, "okay, what now?" I also get irritable in the late afternoon and the exercise definitely takes that away. Part of my recovery has been 23 trips to the gym in 23 days or something like that.
I also kept trying to find life's answers at the bottom of the bottle but could never find them either. LOL. Your post made me giggle.
Keep up the good work and keep us posted.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
at 30 days I found it increasingly necessary to remind myself this is a one day at a time deal.
I was used to instant gratification and I was used to trying to control my environment.
We're all learning a new life skill at 30 days - living sober - I recommend taking it slow...don't blow the new engine. It really was like learning to walking again for me.
It went against nearly every instinct of mine, but people here told me to stay in today, cos 'the road ahead' will come up soon enough and reveal itself...and it did.
I'm not saying be a hermit, or go sit on a mountain but I am saying - don't worry...and easy does it.
I think you're both where you're meant to be at 30 days IMO.
Keep doing all the right things and you'll be ready for those bumps as they happen.
D
I was used to instant gratification and I was used to trying to control my environment.
We're all learning a new life skill at 30 days - living sober - I recommend taking it slow...don't blow the new engine. It really was like learning to walking again for me.
It went against nearly every instinct of mine, but people here told me to stay in today, cos 'the road ahead' will come up soon enough and reveal itself...and it did.
I'm not saying be a hermit, or go sit on a mountain but I am saying - don't worry...and easy does it.
I think you're both where you're meant to be at 30 days IMO.
Keep doing all the right things and you'll be ready for those bumps as they happen.
D
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,492
I'm glad you're doing well!
One thing I can tell you, is that recovery is not a straight line. At times, I feel like I've stalled, and at times I feel like it's been very slow going, but I know that I'm moving forward. Be patient with yourself.
I come here to SR every day, and I have for years. I always find something to inspire me. I hope you keep reading and posting.
One thing I can tell you, is that recovery is not a straight line. At times, I feel like I've stalled, and at times I feel like it's been very slow going, but I know that I'm moving forward. Be patient with yourself.
I come here to SR every day, and I have for years. I always find something to inspire me. I hope you keep reading and posting.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Land down under
Posts: 433
I agree with Anna and Dee.
I have had a few bumps in the road to sobriety. I am actually going through a fair bit of stress at the moment but I just keep reminding myself that the issues will be there regardless if I drink or not. Better to deal with them in a clear headed, and therefore logical manner.
Hang in there - and definitely keep up the "one day at a time" mantra.
I have had a few bumps in the road to sobriety. I am actually going through a fair bit of stress at the moment but I just keep reminding myself that the issues will be there regardless if I drink or not. Better to deal with them in a clear headed, and therefore logical manner.
Hang in there - and definitely keep up the "one day at a time" mantra.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: north providence r.i.
Posts: 17
congrats,on the 30days.take it one day @a time.and remember to use the PHONE.if you get stressed out.call your sponsor just to say hi ,you will be amazed what happens when you use the phone or go for a ride and talk to another,when i do this i forget what it was i wanted to talk about,because i had someone else on my mind besides me,and that stops the monkeys in my head from making to much racket.:rotfxko
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
[QUOTE=Omega060610;2645079]
One comfort that always work for me though is knowing that regardless how bad the day may have been, when I wake up in the morning, I always feel so much better.
[/QUOTE ]
Good job on the first 30 days Omega. I use fitness also as an intergral part of my recovery . Whe it comes to different options I take advantage of, ...say;.. trying a few AA meetings (since they're free and available ) ; ...or visiting SR, ...reading material like Smart. It's all helpful for me.
I just past 90 days and have started experiencing longer periods of "peace (of mind)" lately. A little more clarity of thinking also ,......thank goodness !! lo
One thing I learned (and practice daily) , is to know deep down just how lucky I am today to be sober. And I'm deep-down grateful for sobriety. Finishing up a long hard ride today, before work, ......the main emotion I remember having was "just how grateful " I am for sobriety, ....since without it, there would not be a chance in hell I could've experienced those last 2 hours on the bike like I'd just experienced.
Again, Congrats on the 30 !
Life just gets' better; "ODAT "
.
One comfort that always work for me though is knowing that regardless how bad the day may have been, when I wake up in the morning, I always feel so much better.
[/QUOTE ]
Good job on the first 30 days Omega. I use fitness also as an intergral part of my recovery . Whe it comes to different options I take advantage of, ...say;.. trying a few AA meetings (since they're free and available ) ; ...or visiting SR, ...reading material like Smart. It's all helpful for me.
I just past 90 days and have started experiencing longer periods of "peace (of mind)" lately. A little more clarity of thinking also ,......thank goodness !! lo
One thing I learned (and practice daily) , is to know deep down just how lucky I am today to be sober. And I'm deep-down grateful for sobriety. Finishing up a long hard ride today, before work, ......the main emotion I remember having was "just how grateful " I am for sobriety, ....since without it, there would not be a chance in hell I could've experienced those last 2 hours on the bike like I'd just experienced.
Again, Congrats on the 30 !
Life just gets' better; "ODAT "
.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Toronto
Posts: 318
From one Omega to another, welcome - and congrats on making it through the first month!
Anything I have to suggest or say has already been said. Just take it one day at a time (or sometimes one hour at a time). Trust me, I certainly did my share of fretting in the beginning. Once I learned to relax, it was a much easier road to travel and things started to fall into place. I still have my bad days, but they are much easier to deal with when I am sober.
Hope to see you around a lot!
Peace, health and happiness!
~Omega10
Anything I have to suggest or say has already been said. Just take it one day at a time (or sometimes one hour at a time). Trust me, I certainly did my share of fretting in the beginning. Once I learned to relax, it was a much easier road to travel and things started to fall into place. I still have my bad days, but they are much easier to deal with when I am sober.
Hope to see you around a lot!
Peace, health and happiness!
~Omega10
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Please give yourself time to heal.
I drank alcoholically for 5 years.....and my 1st. month
I was in a mental haze. You are far ahead of where I was.
I'm thinking that daily atention to SMART is an excellent plan.
I also suggest eating fruit when you get antsy
it will level out any drop in your blood sugar.
Check with your doctor about following an eating plan for hypoglycemia.
I certainly wish you well as you move forward.
Well done on your early sobriety....
I drank alcoholically for 5 years.....and my 1st. month
I was in a mental haze. You are far ahead of where I was.
I'm thinking that daily atention to SMART is an excellent plan.
I also suggest eating fruit when you get antsy
it will level out any drop in your blood sugar.
Check with your doctor about following an eating plan for hypoglycemia.
I certainly wish you well as you move forward.
Well done on your early sobriety....
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