Buckley

I was approaching 3 weeks sobriety and feeling great about it. Though I had been tempted a few times, I struggled through it and felt better the next day because of it. I've lost almost 10 pounds, my skin looks better than its looked in years, and my dark circles are gone. Things were looking great.

Sunday night I went to visit a boy from my past who I have extremely strong feelings for. I was so nervous driving out there, and even more nervous when I got there, that the second he asked me if I wanted some wine I said yes. Over the next 4 hours, I had three glasses, and though I didn't get drunk, I knew I was going to regret it the next morning. Though it did take the edge off, of course, I didn't need it. Everything between him and I flowed like it always had, and would have with or without the wine.

Yesterday, I felt like crap. Not really hungover, just disappointed in myself. It was more of an emotional hangover than anything else. So what do I do last night? Of course. I went to visit my friend at the bar down the street for dinner, and proceeded to have two more glasses of wine. Again, I was able to control myself, but again, this morning, I'm disappointed in myself.

So, back at Day 1. At least from the experience I have learned something: It doesn't matter if I have 1 glass or 10, the next day I always am going to feel the same.

Thanks for reading.

suki44883

It can happen just that quickly. Glad you learned something from it. Just don't drink today.

super71

It is good you are back here posting - Congrats on day 1! Make it your last day 1!

least

I've let myself down more times than I'd like to remember. Each time I was told to forgive myself, learn from it, and start moving forward again. I suggest the same for you!

Hevyn

Buckley, I once ruined 3 years of sobriety by doing almost the same thing. Went on a date for the first time in ages & accepted a glass of wine. That glass of wine led to 4. That evening led to 7 (yes, 7) years off the wagon - and my life became chaos - much worse than when I was drinking before.

This setback can serve as a lesson for you, but please don't dwell on it. You never have to put yourself in that position again. In trying to have "a few" the outcome will never be any different for us - and now you know that. Be happy - you're back on track again.

Buckley

I know I'm being too hard on myself, but I am so angry and disappointed and I think about it and just start crying.
Looks like I'm not ready to start dating yet, either.
Thanks everyone. I really appreciate it, and NEED it.

Fandy

someone else posted this on another thread...and it's so very true.

Progress, not perfection. I felt better after reading it too.

Dee74

Dating can be a real trap. At least you'll be ready for this next time.

Learn from your mistakes Buckley - then move on... it's pointless to go over it again and again, once you've got the lesson.

Glad you're back on the right road.

D

artsoul

I threw away years of sobriety before, and it was at a social event. I've never felt confident in those situations, and I don't know why. I can't imagine what I'd feel like dating right now! I'm sure it would have been very tempting for me, too.

Hang in there - you can do it!