spilledmilk

Hi everyone, what is your opinion on telling new people you meet about your past. I am an honest person but I really don't want to have to people about my past. Their are a couple of things that are so bad I don't want to tell anybody that doesn't already know. I also feel like I can't call others on there idiotic behaviour anymore because I would feel like a hypocrite. I just know I've done so many terrible things and acted like a person I never was, but because I still behaved that way do I have to continue to shame myself by telling others. Thanks everyone

mercurial me

Don't be too hard on yourself. People do stupid & embarrassing things everyday while drunk and sober.

Your recovery is your own business and you don't have to reveal anything to anyone else unless you want to

Dee74

Hi spilledmilk

I don't think you need to tell anyone anything, unless it would be downright dishonest not to.

As for shame tho - I did a lot of bad and stupid things too - but there comes a time you have to draw a line under it and move on.

I'd rather feel proud of who I am and where I've got myself today than to feel shame for past mistakes.

I'm living right and I'm making amends where I can - noone can ask more than that...so I have no problems nowadays calling people on stupid behaviour, if it's my business to do so

D

Chavo

Not everyone is trust-able enough to know that information. It can be used against you in your place of business. Only the closest people to me know my whole dirty story. A number of people know parts of my drug story because i've been writing about it in college. (and those people are interested in the subject matter and not looking to be judgmental)

Self-defeating, "shaming", guilt masochistic behaviors only get us closer to using again.

Take Care,
Chavo

chicubs1

I just celebrated 6 months in recovery this past weekend and don't feel anyone I've met since becoming sober needs to know anything sordid from my past. They're meeting the person I am today, not the crazy drunk of the past. Over time, I might share things here and there, but only after relationships - and most importantly trust - develop. I hurt my wife, my family, and many friends over many years, but only my best friend knows everything and that's only because he's been my de facto sponsor since I AA wasn't a route I wanted to try. In short, tell only the people you trust the most and only what you're comfortable sharing. Keep looking forward and good luck!

least

I see no reason to tell anyone unless it's blatantly dishonest not to tell them, and then only if you have to.

I agree with this. You are not your behavior, and you have no obligation to confess anything to anyone.



I did end up telling the clerks at the drive thru so they wouldn't automatically get me a bottle of wine! And they all congratulated me on being sober... so I must have been pretty bad when I was coming thru there several times a day...

Ghostly

I've only told one person (outside my internet friends) that I quit. Some other people have figured it out. I would say not to stress about this issue too much spilled. You have other priorities right now. Don't worry on calling others on their behavior. Make the right decisions for you. Try to get past the bad decisions you've made in the past. You are on the right track now.

smacked

Its really nobodies business..plus, I feel no desire to burden anyone with my personal issues. I'm a non drinker, plain and simple.