Its been 5 months since my last confession!
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 436
Its been 5 months since my last confession!
I must confess that I haven't been on the site for quite a while - my AH got sober! and I got complacent. My AFIL died and this was enough of a shock for AH to wake up to the fact that he is an alcoholic (22 years married) and got help. He went to his doctor for a full check up, saw a psychotherapist and even went along to a couple of AA meetings. He has been sober for 4/5 months - 3 months he was great - the man I loved and missed when he was drinking, but then he stopped going to AA and the psychotherapist and got bored! He has been bored with his life, family, home, weather, work and me - everything, a real grump.
I asked him what he wanted to do that day (Sunday) and he said 'what I really want to do is go out to the pub and get drunk'. When I said 'you cant do that' he said ' I can do what I like, I am a grown up - its what I want to do, but I am not going to'.
I should have seen the warning signs but I didnt and then last night after he had gone to bed and I was getting ready to go to bed, I found an empty beer bottle at the side of his chair, then looking a bit further I found 3 more around the house. There is a new crate of beers in the garage (not hidden) with 5 missing.
I was understandably upset and slept in the spare room without confronting him.
Tonight, I have come home from work, trying to remain calm/friendly, to see whether he would be in a remorseful mood or not and he has picked a fight with me straight away. According to the alcoholic:
I have blown things out of proportion by sleeping in the spare room.
He doesnt want to spend the rest of his life with me treating him like he is a piece of **** on the bottom of his shoe.
He wants a divorce as we have nothing in common anymore.
He is not an alcoholic anymore.
He is only going to drink at the weekends as he can control it now.
AA was full of people who wet the bed etc and thats not him.
He wanted to know why he drank but the psychotherapist wouldnt tell him, so he was no good.
He doesnt want to spend the rest of his life with me and not drinking.
I keep telling myself that its the addiction talking - giving him reasons to keep drinking.
Hes quacking.
I deserve better - I have done nothing wrong.
I feel hurt, upset, destroyed.
I let myself build up hope of having a normal life and its all come crashing down with a wallop! I am devastated.
Just releasing the pressure by getting it out there.
I asked him what he wanted to do that day (Sunday) and he said 'what I really want to do is go out to the pub and get drunk'. When I said 'you cant do that' he said ' I can do what I like, I am a grown up - its what I want to do, but I am not going to'.
I should have seen the warning signs but I didnt and then last night after he had gone to bed and I was getting ready to go to bed, I found an empty beer bottle at the side of his chair, then looking a bit further I found 3 more around the house. There is a new crate of beers in the garage (not hidden) with 5 missing.
I was understandably upset and slept in the spare room without confronting him.
Tonight, I have come home from work, trying to remain calm/friendly, to see whether he would be in a remorseful mood or not and he has picked a fight with me straight away. According to the alcoholic:
I have blown things out of proportion by sleeping in the spare room.
He doesnt want to spend the rest of his life with me treating him like he is a piece of **** on the bottom of his shoe.
He wants a divorce as we have nothing in common anymore.
He is not an alcoholic anymore.
He is only going to drink at the weekends as he can control it now.
AA was full of people who wet the bed etc and thats not him.
He wanted to know why he drank but the psychotherapist wouldnt tell him, so he was no good.
He doesnt want to spend the rest of his life with me and not drinking.
I keep telling myself that its the addiction talking - giving him reasons to keep drinking.
Hes quacking.
I deserve better - I have done nothing wrong.
I feel hurt, upset, destroyed.
I let myself build up hope of having a normal life and its all come crashing down with a wallop! I am devastated.
Just releasing the pressure by getting it out there.
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