The Same Old Story... With a New Development
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 34
The Same Old Story... With a New Development
Hello all, it's me again, just popping in because maybe, just maybe, there's been a change in our situation.
I've been after him for years to see a doctor for a check-up, after all he's 50 now, and has been a heavy drinker and smoker for just about the entire 21 years we've been together. And of course, he refused every time, as he didn't need to see a doctor.
Recently, a health fair was held at his plant, and without telling me, he decided to have some blood work and other testing done. It took him a little while to tell me about this, because apparently, the results were pretty bad.
Without telling me too much, he's made reference to abnormal liver function, glucose, white blood levels and anemia and more. Not only that, more than once he's spoken in terms of not having long to live... then cracked open another beer.
My reaction was surprisingly calm. No shock, no tears. I've always known it would take something horrific to get his attention, and I guess it's happened... not that he'll give me any details. I'm not scared - I've been preparing myself to lose him for a long time now.
I'm not sure what our immediate future holds. Knowing him, nothing will change until he has some kind of awful episode involving lots of drama and pain, for all of us actually.
If and when I find out exactly what he was told about his health, I'll post it, for whomever may be interested. If anyone has any insight as to what may be going on with him, I'd like to know your thoughts.
Anyway, that's my update... and in my own, warped little world, it's not altogether a bad thing.
I've been after him for years to see a doctor for a check-up, after all he's 50 now, and has been a heavy drinker and smoker for just about the entire 21 years we've been together. And of course, he refused every time, as he didn't need to see a doctor.
Recently, a health fair was held at his plant, and without telling me, he decided to have some blood work and other testing done. It took him a little while to tell me about this, because apparently, the results were pretty bad.
Without telling me too much, he's made reference to abnormal liver function, glucose, white blood levels and anemia and more. Not only that, more than once he's spoken in terms of not having long to live... then cracked open another beer.
My reaction was surprisingly calm. No shock, no tears. I've always known it would take something horrific to get his attention, and I guess it's happened... not that he'll give me any details. I'm not scared - I've been preparing myself to lose him for a long time now.
I'm not sure what our immediate future holds. Knowing him, nothing will change until he has some kind of awful episode involving lots of drama and pain, for all of us actually.
If and when I find out exactly what he was told about his health, I'll post it, for whomever may be interested. If anyone has any insight as to what may be going on with him, I'd like to know your thoughts.
Anyway, that's my update... and in my own, warped little world, it's not altogether a bad thing.
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Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,103
Wow, it's interesting how being with an alcoholic conditions people to feel what I call "a new normal."
Situations that would seem horrific to functional families, become normal and tolerable to alcoholics. It's like having PTSD and therefore not being able to recognize when you're in a terminally unhealthy situation.
That's scary that your husband takes the info about his bad health so cavalierly, but not surprising. Alcoholics mean to kill themselves. Unfortunately for those of us who've cared about them, it would actually be easier on us if they'd just put a bullet in their heads. I know that sounds harsh, but that's how I feel. It's the difference between a slow, painful, torturous death, and just getting it over with.
Trust me, your situation is NOT normal. So long as you stay in it, what do you think are the chances that some episode full of drama and pain is gonna happen to shake your husband out of his coma? Maybe if you leave him, that could be the episode? I'm just sayin'...
If i were you, Id' wanna get myself OUT of there and not wait for some "episode of drama and pain" that's gonna hurt and affect you. But..maybe you don't love yourself, either???
Situations that would seem horrific to functional families, become normal and tolerable to alcoholics. It's like having PTSD and therefore not being able to recognize when you're in a terminally unhealthy situation.
That's scary that your husband takes the info about his bad health so cavalierly, but not surprising. Alcoholics mean to kill themselves. Unfortunately for those of us who've cared about them, it would actually be easier on us if they'd just put a bullet in their heads. I know that sounds harsh, but that's how I feel. It's the difference between a slow, painful, torturous death, and just getting it over with.
Trust me, your situation is NOT normal. So long as you stay in it, what do you think are the chances that some episode full of drama and pain is gonna happen to shake your husband out of his coma? Maybe if you leave him, that could be the episode? I'm just sayin'...
If i were you, Id' wanna get myself OUT of there and not wait for some "episode of drama and pain" that's gonna hurt and affect you. But..maybe you don't love yourself, either???
I'm growing
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Right where I need to be
Posts: 601
Who knows what could be going on.....or not going on.
In my experience my AH used to overexagerate those types of things. Anytime his father wasn't feeling well, he was dying. I can't tell you how many times I have heard that is father is dying. The man is still alive and has no terminal illness. I would just simply reply, "We all are". I dunno if he used it to justify his drinking, but it really didn't matter.
I wouldn't read too much into it Ultimately it is your husbands body. If he chooses to go to the doctor for further tests great! But he may not. Have you asked him why he doesn't have long to live?
In my experience my AH used to overexagerate those types of things. Anytime his father wasn't feeling well, he was dying. I can't tell you how many times I have heard that is father is dying. The man is still alive and has no terminal illness. I would just simply reply, "We all are". I dunno if he used it to justify his drinking, but it really didn't matter.
I wouldn't read too much into it Ultimately it is your husbands body. If he chooses to go to the doctor for further tests great! But he may not. Have you asked him why he doesn't have long to live?
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