someone help me please
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: san francisco, ca
Posts: 1
someone help me please
hello all,
my name is rain.
i am sober since 6-30-10.
my husband is a speed freak.
he was clean for fifteen and a half
months then relapsed last week.
when he relapsed he was gone for
three hours and then came home.
he smoked it and had unprotected sex
with the person he used with.
i want to have a baby and now we cannot
be close in that way. he seems to like thinking
about sleeping with me rather than actually
doing it. he is addicted to porn while he is high.
when he comes down he is ashamed and has NO
sexual desire for me or for porn. he went to use
again tonight. he has been gone four hours now
and has not responded to my emails.
this has me very worried because he always stays
in touch with me no matter what even when he is
high. he has not even read the emails at all. i am
really scared that something might have happened
to him.
do any of you know how long i have to wait to file
a missing persons report? this is really not like him at all.
my heart is beating very fast and i am extremely nervous.
i threatened the person he went to use with saying i was
sending the cops to the house unless i heard from my
husband but i am only being ignored and i know the person
is reading the emails i send because their status on a site
says they are online.
what do i do? can anyone help me? i do not have a phone
so i cannot call hospitals or the jail to see if he is in one. so
what do i do? can you help me please?
thanks so much,
rain
my name is rain.
i am sober since 6-30-10.
my husband is a speed freak.
he was clean for fifteen and a half
months then relapsed last week.
when he relapsed he was gone for
three hours and then came home.
he smoked it and had unprotected sex
with the person he used with.
i want to have a baby and now we cannot
be close in that way. he seems to like thinking
about sleeping with me rather than actually
doing it. he is addicted to porn while he is high.
when he comes down he is ashamed and has NO
sexual desire for me or for porn. he went to use
again tonight. he has been gone four hours now
and has not responded to my emails.
this has me very worried because he always stays
in touch with me no matter what even when he is
high. he has not even read the emails at all. i am
really scared that something might have happened
to him.
do any of you know how long i have to wait to file
a missing persons report? this is really not like him at all.
my heart is beating very fast and i am extremely nervous.
i threatened the person he went to use with saying i was
sending the cops to the house unless i heard from my
husband but i am only being ignored and i know the person
is reading the emails i send because their status on a site
says they are online.
what do i do? can anyone help me? i do not have a phone
so i cannot call hospitals or the jail to see if he is in one. so
what do i do? can you help me please?
thanks so much,
rain
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
Hi Rain,
i would take a deep breath and go to bed. It sounds like this might not be the first time this has happened. I'm sure he'll show up in the morning.
Focus on your own sobriety. Make that your number one priority.
i would take a deep breath and go to bed. It sounds like this might not be the first time this has happened. I'm sure he'll show up in the morning.
Focus on your own sobriety. Make that your number one priority.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: far far from home
Posts: 373
Originally Posted by rainxxx 
hello all,
do any of you know how long i have to wait to file
a missing persons report? this is really not like him at all.
my heart is beating very fast and i am extremely nervous.
i threatened the person he went to use with saying i was
sending the cops to the house unless i heard from my
husband but i am only being ignored and i know the person
is reading the emails i send because their status on a site
says they are online.
what do i do? can anyone help me? i do not have a phone
so i cannot call hospitals or the jail to see if he is in one. so
what do i do? can you help me please?
thanks so much,
rain
do any of you know how long i have to wait to file
a missing persons report? this is really not like him at all.
my heart is beating very fast and i am extremely nervous.
i threatened the person he went to use with saying i was
sending the cops to the house unless i heard from my
husband but i am only being ignored and i know the person
is reading the emails i send because their status on a site
says they are online.
what do i do? can anyone help me? i do not have a phone
so i cannot call hospitals or the jail to see if he is in one. so
what do i do? can you help me please?
thanks so much,
rain
There is NO waiting period for reporting a person missing. All California police and sheriffs' departments must accept any report, including a report by telephone, of a missing person, including runaways, without delay and will give priority to the handling of the report.
Sorry this is happening to you. You do not have to wait to file a report according to the AG's website in California. So an option is to contact SFPD. However, it is doubtful they can do much given the circumstances. But it may ease your mind to do some action.
Other than that I just wish you well. Alot of people here on SR can give you support, especially with your sobriety. And congrats on that sobriety by the way, it isn't easy.
Best wishes,
C
Persevere, Never give up!
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Stellenbosch, South Africa
Posts: 882
Dear Rain, welcome to SR and i am so sorry your H has relapsed, it is a devastating feeling, but there is nothing you can do for him, you didnt CAUSE it, you cant CONTROL it and you cant CURE it, all u can do is look after you. Perhaps when he does turn up and has sobered up or come off his high, then maybe have a heart to heart with him, explain how you feel, this may or may not help. But please just concentrate on you. Hugs xxx
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
Hi Rain
I'm not an American so I can only say go with Chops suggestion about the SFPD to set your mind at rest you've done all you can, then try and take Melinda's advice and at least get some rest.
You'll find a lot of support here. I also encourage you to visit our Family and Friends section. You'll find a lot of experience strength and hope in there too.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...stance-abusers
Please remember - the main thing you can do is to look after yourself right now.
D
I'm not an American so I can only say go with Chops suggestion about the SFPD to set your mind at rest you've done all you can, then try and take Melinda's advice and at least get some rest.
You'll find a lot of support here. I also encourage you to visit our Family and Friends section. You'll find a lot of experience strength and hope in there too.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...stance-abusers
Please remember - the main thing you can do is to look after yourself right now.
D
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