slipping down the slippery slope
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: England
Posts: 90
slipping down the slippery slope
It's a while since I posted last but I do read often to benefit from your support and advice, I do feel as though I belong which helps so much. Thank you all who post xx
I stopped drinking for a couple of months, felt great. Convinced myself I was in control and started having a few days off, within accepted limits every week. (Yes indeed, that old one!). I suppose to some degree the control thing is partly true because I am still drinking less. However I notice that the urge to drink is ever so slightly stronger. I can't put it into words other than to say - its changing. Last night I had two bottles of wine, went out and bought the second half way through the first. I've had two bottles before but somehow this experience wasn't the same. The person who went for the second bottle was different. (Sorry if that sounds weird).
It's really struck me as signifcant this morning. I feel as though I am standing at the edge of something awful. I think I still have the chance to pull back if I stop now. I think I have a chance to live my life the way I want to but I think the progression that people post about is happening. It's like its slowly developing underneath day by day without me even knowing.
But I do know, lots of you have posted here and I have read and I do know.
So I am back and I am humble and I am starting day one. I shall just take for granted that everyone out there wishes me well so thanks very much to all.
Take care xx
I stopped drinking for a couple of months, felt great. Convinced myself I was in control and started having a few days off, within accepted limits every week. (Yes indeed, that old one!). I suppose to some degree the control thing is partly true because I am still drinking less. However I notice that the urge to drink is ever so slightly stronger. I can't put it into words other than to say - its changing. Last night I had two bottles of wine, went out and bought the second half way through the first. I've had two bottles before but somehow this experience wasn't the same. The person who went for the second bottle was different. (Sorry if that sounds weird).
It's really struck me as signifcant this morning. I feel as though I am standing at the edge of something awful. I think I still have the chance to pull back if I stop now. I think I have a chance to live my life the way I want to but I think the progression that people post about is happening. It's like its slowly developing underneath day by day without me even knowing.
But I do know, lots of you have posted here and I have read and I do know.
So I am back and I am humble and I am starting day one. I shall just take for granted that everyone out there wishes me well so thanks very much to all.
Take care xx
Welcome back & keep coming back
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: London
Posts: 266
Dunsuppin,
This is always my excuse. I have been trying to control my drinking for years now. It is so tiring... Always comes back where I left it. Abstinence for a while, convincing myself I can do the social drinking stuff, sufferring from the thoughts of never picking up one again, then visualizing myself at a party or whatever without a drink and suffering even more. Wishing everyday there is no excuse to drinki/wishing everyday there is a good excuse to drink. I am starting with you again. Hope will make it this time. I hope I can visualize my exciting new me, my healthy me with beautiful skin, no worries, no counting, no hiding...
Good luck!
This is always my excuse. I have been trying to control my drinking for years now. It is so tiring... Always comes back where I left it. Abstinence for a while, convincing myself I can do the social drinking stuff, sufferring from the thoughts of never picking up one again, then visualizing myself at a party or whatever without a drink and suffering even more. Wishing everyday there is no excuse to drinki/wishing everyday there is a good excuse to drink. I am starting with you again. Hope will make it this time. I hope I can visualize my exciting new me, my healthy me with beautiful skin, no worries, no counting, no hiding...
Good luck!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Hi,
It doesn't sound strange to me.
When I tried to cut back and moderate my drinking, my urges to drink definitely increased. As soon as I told myself I was limiting myself, I wanted more and more. What worked for me, was stopping completely.
It doesn't sound strange to me.
When I tried to cut back and moderate my drinking, my urges to drink definitely increased. As soon as I told myself I was limiting myself, I wanted more and more. What worked for me, was stopping completely.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Up, Up and Away
Posts: 434
Originally Posted by Anna 
When I tried to cut back and moderate my drinking, my urges to drink definitely increased.
Just for the record, I have NO plans to drink on Monday.
Best wishes, Dunsuppin.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: moving target
Posts: 956
Originally Posted by Dunsuppin
It's a while since I posted last but I do read often to benefit from your support and advice, I do feel as though I belong which helps so much. Thank you all who post xx
I stopped drinking for a couple of months, felt great. Convinced myself I was in control and started having a few days off, within accepted limits every week. (Yes indeed, that old one!). I suppose to some degree the control thing is partly true because I am still drinking less. However I notice that the urge to drink is ever so slightly stronger. I can't put it into words other than to say - its changing. Last night I had two bottles of wine, went out and bought the second half way through the first. I've had two bottles before but somehow this experience wasn't the same. The person who went for the second bottle was different. (Sorry if that sounds weird).
It's really struck me as signifcant this morning. I feel as though I am standing at the edge of something awful. I think I still have the chance to pull back if I stop now. I think I have a chance to live my life the way I want to but I think the progression that people post about is happening. It's like its slowly developing underneath day by day without me even knowing.
But I do know, lots of you have posted here and I have read and I do know.
So I am back and I am humble and I am starting day one. I shall just take for granted that everyone out there wishes me well so thanks very much to all.
Take care xx
I stopped drinking for a couple of months, felt great. Convinced myself I was in control and started having a few days off, within accepted limits every week. (Yes indeed, that old one!). I suppose to some degree the control thing is partly true because I am still drinking less. However I notice that the urge to drink is ever so slightly stronger. I can't put it into words other than to say - its changing. Last night I had two bottles of wine, went out and bought the second half way through the first. I've had two bottles before but somehow this experience wasn't the same. The person who went for the second bottle was different. (Sorry if that sounds weird).
It's really struck me as signifcant this morning. I feel as though I am standing at the edge of something awful. I think I still have the chance to pull back if I stop now. I think I have a chance to live my life the way I want to but I think the progression that people post about is happening. It's like its slowly developing underneath day by day without me even knowing.
But I do know, lots of you have posted here and I have read and I do know.
So I am back and I am humble and I am starting day one. I shall just take for granted that everyone out there wishes me well so thanks very much to all.
Take care xx
the only way to stop is to stop. It took me a long time to figure that out. Much love and peace to you- wish you well.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: England
Posts: 90
Originally Posted by Wilde10
Dunsuppin,
This is always my excuse. I have been trying to control my drinking for years now. It is so tiring... Always comes back where I left it. Abstinence for a while, convincing myself I can do the social drinking stuff, sufferring from the thoughts of never picking up one again, then visualizing myself at a party or whatever without a drink and suffering even more. Wishing everyday there is no excuse to drinki/wishing everyday there is a good excuse to drink. I am starting with you again. Hope will make it this time. I hope I can visualize my exciting new me, my healthy me with beautiful skin, no worries, no counting, no hiding...
Good luck!
This is always my excuse. I have been trying to control my drinking for years now. It is so tiring... Always comes back where I left it. Abstinence for a while, convincing myself I can do the social drinking stuff, sufferring from the thoughts of never picking up one again, then visualizing myself at a party or whatever without a drink and suffering even more. Wishing everyday there is no excuse to drinki/wishing everyday there is a good excuse to drink. I am starting with you again. Hope will make it this time. I hope I can visualize my exciting new me, my healthy me with beautiful skin, no worries, no counting, no hiding...
Good luck!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Welcome back Dunsuppin 
It's not strange to me either...my 'drive' always increased after a period of attempted abstinence or 'control'...in my case it got quite ridiculous the way I'd swing to the extreme opposite end of the spectrum.
I think you're smart for being on Day One again
D
It's not strange to me either...my 'drive' always increased after a period of attempted abstinence or 'control'...in my case it got quite ridiculous the way I'd swing to the extreme opposite end of the spectrum.
I think you're smart for being on Day One again
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 44
Sounds to me like you're making the right choice to become sober once again. I wish you all the best! If it helps, today is my day one too! You've got a friend in me! wow, kinda corny huh!Oh well, Best of luck hun! You can do it!
xo Dianna
xo Dianna
The New Me starting 1/11/09
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: California
Posts: 678
Hi Dunsuppin -
The more we are around SR, the more we see the pattern ...
When people go back out after a decent amount of sober time, they hit an even lower bottom.
It seems that our disease continues to progress -- even while we are sober.
I hope that you are able to pull back from that ledge. I too get the occasional thought that I can drink again someday -- but the question I now ask myself is "why?"
With my program of recovery, I have now made a much better life for myself that does not involve drinking. So, I now wonder what the benefit would be to me, given the risks.
The more we are around SR, the more we see the pattern ...
When people go back out after a decent amount of sober time, they hit an even lower bottom.
It seems that our disease continues to progress -- even while we are sober.
I hope that you are able to pull back from that ledge. I too get the occasional thought that I can drink again someday -- but the question I now ask myself is "why?"
With my program of recovery, I have now made a much better life for myself that does not involve drinking. So, I now wonder what the benefit would be to me, given the risks.
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