pear123

I am going to come back to delete this just in case. But I got my paperwork.

All my stuff that matters is removed out of the house. I tried not to make it obvious and only took things that really mattered. Weird how your life can fit in a truck of a car.

I am wondering if I should be out of the house? Technically, the judge gave me the house so it is mine. I haven't thought that part out. I just thought if we were here and he flips out we can leave and know he isn't going to steal or break my important stuff.

tjp613

If you don't feel safe then, by all means, get out of the house. No question about that.

Remember, your safety is #1 priority. Everything else can be replaced.

Freedom1990

Am I correct in remembering that once you got the papers, he can be served with a 30 day eviction notice?

Do you have somewhere to go until he is moved out of the house?

smacked

Just keep yourself and the kiddos safe!

ItsmeAlice

Safety first absolutely.

Your things may be fine when all is said and done, but why let the "what if he does this or that" hang on your mind and distract you.

Good for you for moving your special things to a safe place. Now you can exit with the kids if you feel uncomfrotable at all.

Best wishes,
Be safe,

Keep posting and let us know you're okay!

Alice

nodaybut2day

First off: YAY!!!

Second: Yeppers...safety first. If it means leaving everything behind, then so be it. Can you possibly leave the house, have him served with the eviction notice and then wait to see if he's left (perhaps ask for a police escort to come with you to check). If he hasn't, then the cops can remove him. This way, you avoid any confrontation.

Third: let us know what happens!

pear123

Thankfully I don't have to do an eviction notice...the judgment says it already 30 days from the date of signing and he must be gone. Then I have to get a Writ and the Sheriff to enforce.

I don't know if I feel safe. This is the first time I kinda don't. I don't know. I found stuff yesterday and today when I was cleaning I found something too. And that makes me worry that he is up to something not good. I don't want to have to do anything, but I'm thinking that I might need to.

gerryP

Phew....

Sounds like you are finally getting closer to beginning your new life Pear! YAY!

nodaybut2day

pear...if you have doubts, then PLEASE get the heck out of there. Better safe than injured or worse. Let people think what they want. Let him think what he wants. You're doing this for the sake of your children.

As for the judgment, will he be receiving a copy of it? How will he be made aware that he needs to leave in 30 days?

pear123

Because we both get a copy. His is in an envelope so he will get it when he gets home from work.

I have no energy to know what to do. I can't even muster it up...just everything I am so weak and tired and.... I can't even think my way through this. Last night I was praying and praying and confided in my parents what I found. They want me to go to the police, but they may be overreacting. I don't know. I don't want authorities in my house.

Or I could do nothing and just be gone when he gets home and he will flip out.

Or I could just call his probation officer, but who knows when she comes to check it out.

.

nodaybut2day

pear...you're going through the worst of it, so it's totally normal to feel exhausted or to just cry. I did that.

If whatever you found (be it drugs, or a firearm, or whatever) is illegal, then take some time to gather your thoughts and rest, muster up some energy and call the probation officer and the police. I know how incredibly difficult this must be for you, but as I said, you're in the thick of it now.

Another 30 days and he'll be gone and you can begin rebuilding your life. Focus on that.

As for being gone when he gets home, I'd definitely do that. He sounds too unstable and dangerous to be around...

Jazzman

OK I'm really getting concerned for your safety and think you and the kids should maybe stay at your folks for a few days? If you find he's doing something his probation officer should know about then I would let her know.

pear123

I have work today and always have the kids and can't get my thoughts together.

I suppose I don't have to call the probation officer today or tomorrow. But won't they say when did you find that and then I will be in trouble that it is in my house?

I don't know what is part of his weird deal of lady's clothes and girls in hotel rooms or what is maybe a crime. I don't know and I can't think this through.

transformyself

I can relate to having the kids all the time and not being able to think.

Slow down, though, so we can help.
What are you talking about having in your house? Illegal drugs?
I thought he was on probation? What is he not allowed to do on probation that could be considered a violation?

Don't worry about being an accomplice to to a crime, you're turning him in, not helping him.

Jazzman

Are we talking weird kinky or something illegal? What is he on probation fir again? A DUI I think?

Thumper

I'm so glad the papers are in. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and it is a beautiful one!!

Hasn't he already signed off on them? Does he know he's going to be receiving divorce papers at some point? Does he already know what the paperwork will say or is this all going to be a surprise?

If this is going to be a surprise for him, or maybe either way, I would go stay with your family for 2-3 days. You'll go crazy with the stress and worry of how he is going to react. It isn't worth it. You need a breather from the stress or you are going to fall over.

When you get to their house, then you can call his probation officer. You don't have to put that puzzle together or figure out what is or isn't a crime. Just report it and the probation officer will do the rest, that is his job.

pear123

He is on probation for having 2 DUIs and it is probation not to drink any alcohol.

Today when I was organizing the kids' dvds, I noticed the ceiling to the roof door was open a bit. I opened it up and there was a garbage bag in there. I opened the garbage bag and in it is a lady's purse, used socks, a leather jacket, a flannel, a shirt and a coffee mug with coffee in it. So I went through the purse and it isn't empty. It has her id and cc. I don't know if this is someone he met, did he steal it, did he find it? She is a minor.

So if he stole it and I turn it in then I went through it thinking it was a girls' with all his usual crap.

I will just tell you and delete it later, but the pic from the other day had a firearm in it. There were pics of money fanned out and I don't know where he would get that kind of money from and the date on the phones are wrong. It says July 13 2009 as of yesterday.

So I don't know if he has been stealing or is it just hookers and he and his friends just had money or what.

mrphillipctrs1

You made a plan and stuck to it! Self high fives all the way around are in order.

Thumper

Get out of the house pear. Get the kids and go as soon as you can.

Then call his PO.

LaTeeDa

I second what Thumper said. There is no way to know what is going on in his world and you are better off safe than sorry. Get to a safe place, then make the call.

L