New Member Gday!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Adelaide
Posts: 1
New Member Gday!
Hi Guys, let me know if my name is offensive, I will change it.
Ive been wondering for a while if I was an alcohol dependant, alcoholic, heavy drinker. Ever since I was 17 I have drank and it was always to get drunk, for the buzz. I drank every night, 6 cans of stella, never any more or less. Would go out weekends and drink more, usually until I was thrown out of a club or left with complete memory blanks.
Well Im 34 now, I drink perhaps more (but i moved to Oz and the cans were smaller and lower %) but im looking at alcohol and thinking that my life choices are all driven by it. I have been done for drink driving, 2 drunk and disorderlies all when I was younger. If we go away I make sure there are enough tinnies for the camp and emergency ones incase we run out, i feel uneasy if its a drinking night and there are only 4 beers because I know that wont be enough, I look to never be the designated driver, I am able to just have 1 beer but it is hard cos I love it.
I have gout, a high cholesterol and rubbish memory, I wanted to cut down and not quit but Im thinking this is not going to be enough however I dont like the thought of never drinking again because I do love the taste and the buzz.
Doctor suggested dont drink for 4 of the 7 days and limit myself to no more than 6 cans of 4-5% lager. I recon I have damaged my liver because i was told i had enzymes in my blood.
At the moment I have stopped since sunday so tonight is 4 days which is longest in years, im reading and looking at hobbies and gaming on the internet, im going to start excercising but reading some of the posts I am a really heavy drinker, an alcoholic and in danger of dying before my time and depriving my kids of a dad and even a sober dad for the years we have.
I dont drink before 5pm, I work 9-5 in a proffesional managerial job, I drink 'to unwind'.
Im scared to think I wont drink again, but I want to change how I look at alcohol. Is this possible? Or is it all or nothing? I look at all my mates who I grew up with and we all do exactly the same and have the same drinking habits which makes me think its just the way we are, we cant all be alcoholics?
This is really hard!!
Ive been wondering for a while if I was an alcohol dependant, alcoholic, heavy drinker. Ever since I was 17 I have drank and it was always to get drunk, for the buzz. I drank every night, 6 cans of stella, never any more or less. Would go out weekends and drink more, usually until I was thrown out of a club or left with complete memory blanks.
Well Im 34 now, I drink perhaps more (but i moved to Oz and the cans were smaller and lower %) but im looking at alcohol and thinking that my life choices are all driven by it. I have been done for drink driving, 2 drunk and disorderlies all when I was younger. If we go away I make sure there are enough tinnies for the camp and emergency ones incase we run out, i feel uneasy if its a drinking night and there are only 4 beers because I know that wont be enough, I look to never be the designated driver, I am able to just have 1 beer but it is hard cos I love it.
I have gout, a high cholesterol and rubbish memory, I wanted to cut down and not quit but Im thinking this is not going to be enough however I dont like the thought of never drinking again because I do love the taste and the buzz.
Doctor suggested dont drink for 4 of the 7 days and limit myself to no more than 6 cans of 4-5% lager. I recon I have damaged my liver because i was told i had enzymes in my blood.
At the moment I have stopped since sunday so tonight is 4 days which is longest in years, im reading and looking at hobbies and gaming on the internet, im going to start excercising but reading some of the posts I am a really heavy drinker, an alcoholic and in danger of dying before my time and depriving my kids of a dad and even a sober dad for the years we have.
I dont drink before 5pm, I work 9-5 in a proffesional managerial job, I drink 'to unwind'.
Im scared to think I wont drink again, but I want to change how I look at alcohol. Is this possible? Or is it all or nothing? I look at all my mates who I grew up with and we all do exactly the same and have the same drinking habits which makes me think its just the way we are, we cant all be alcoholics?
This is really hard!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 66
It sounds like you are about tired of drinking. Once you get past the fear of "not drinking ever again", that is. It's scary but once you get a few weeks under your belt you realize it's not that scary at all. In fact, you become fine with it. It's not "denying yourself", it's just that a lot of sober people actually don't want to drink! They don't need a buzz.
Just like you wrote, removing alcohol from your life and then finding things to replace it with are very important. You've built parts of your life around drinking. You just need to rebuild them.
Improving your diet (gout + cholesterol come from high protein intake) and getting outside in your wonderful country and exercising will make you feel much better.
If you can't stop drinking when you want then you have a problem.
Welcome to SR!
Just like you wrote, removing alcohol from your life and then finding things to replace it with are very important. You've built parts of your life around drinking. You just need to rebuild them.
Improving your diet (gout + cholesterol come from high protein intake) and getting outside in your wonderful country and exercising will make you feel much better.
If you can't stop drinking when you want then you have a problem.
Welcome to SR!
Guest
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
If you're an alcoholic then moderating your drinking will not work. You will just end up back worse than when you started the moderating. All or Nothing.
At first the thought of living without alcohol and everything associated ie- pubs, parties, night-out, nights alone, banter, live music etcetcetc seems depressing and overwhelming. Impossible even. However living with alcohol seemed just as scary and depressing propect ie- the drink driving convictions, the lost family, lost friends, lost jobs, loss of self-respect, embarassment, shame, paranoia, hopelessness, prison, mental institutions, death etcetcetc.
This is why it is essential to take everything 'one day at a time'. In relation to not drinking then don't drink 'just for today'. It truly works!
For me admitting and truly accepting my alcoholism was crucial in being able to maintain grateful sobriety. By having no doubts as to what I am means that I realise the first drink is the one that will destroy me and so I know my baseline task in my life.
My life now is far more loving, caring, stress-free, worry-free, peaceful, serene and contented than it really has ever been to be honest. This is all thanks to being a recovering alcoholic. I also accepted I am an addict too. Double the fun.
I have hope in my life now and it is priceless. I had no hope when i was drinking. For me drinking meant a life destined to filled with pain and sorrow. I am so truly grateful for my recovery from alcoholism. That may sound strange at first but as you begin to recover and heal then you may understand what I mean by that statement.
I see the beauty in all of the little things now that i would have never noticed before. It is a wonderful feeling to have gratitude and feel grateful. I used to feel self-pity and resentment towards myself and life in general.
Realising and accepting that alcoholism is primarily a 'thinking' problem and not a 'drinking' problem was also crucial for me. The real work in sobriety comes when the drink is put down. A new design for life and living is required. I use SR, AA + much wisdom from elsewhere too.
I was done with alcohol and drugs and wanted to get and stay sober more than I wanted to feel that fleeting fake buzz. Untill I reached that point then i was p*ssing in the wind trying to get sober. It is possible to live a life free from alcohol and drugs that is so much more rewarding and fulfilling than a life with them.
For me life and drinking were not compatible. I dropped out of life as alcohol consumed my thoughts and my life. I was not a daily drinker either but a heavy binge-drinker. I used to drink a lot of Stella too.
I got sober at age 23. I am 24 now. It is so very worth it.
Peace
At first the thought of living without alcohol and everything associated ie- pubs, parties, night-out, nights alone, banter, live music etcetcetc seems depressing and overwhelming. Impossible even. However living with alcohol seemed just as scary and depressing propect ie- the drink driving convictions, the lost family, lost friends, lost jobs, loss of self-respect, embarassment, shame, paranoia, hopelessness, prison, mental institutions, death etcetcetc.
This is why it is essential to take everything 'one day at a time'. In relation to not drinking then don't drink 'just for today'. It truly works!
For me admitting and truly accepting my alcoholism was crucial in being able to maintain grateful sobriety. By having no doubts as to what I am means that I realise the first drink is the one that will destroy me and so I know my baseline task in my life.
My life now is far more loving, caring, stress-free, worry-free, peaceful, serene and contented than it really has ever been to be honest. This is all thanks to being a recovering alcoholic. I also accepted I am an addict too. Double the fun.
I have hope in my life now and it is priceless. I had no hope when i was drinking. For me drinking meant a life destined to filled with pain and sorrow. I am so truly grateful for my recovery from alcoholism. That may sound strange at first but as you begin to recover and heal then you may understand what I mean by that statement.
I see the beauty in all of the little things now that i would have never noticed before. It is a wonderful feeling to have gratitude and feel grateful. I used to feel self-pity and resentment towards myself and life in general.
Realising and accepting that alcoholism is primarily a 'thinking' problem and not a 'drinking' problem was also crucial for me. The real work in sobriety comes when the drink is put down. A new design for life and living is required. I use SR, AA + much wisdom from elsewhere too.
I was done with alcohol and drugs and wanted to get and stay sober more than I wanted to feel that fleeting fake buzz. Untill I reached that point then i was p*ssing in the wind trying to get sober. It is possible to live a life free from alcohol and drugs that is so much more rewarding and fulfilling than a life with them.
For me life and drinking were not compatible. I dropped out of life as alcohol consumed my thoughts and my life. I was not a daily drinker either but a heavy binge-drinker. I used to drink a lot of Stella too.
I got sober at age 23. I am 24 now. It is so very worth it.
Peace
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Brussels (from Ireland)
Posts: 221
Welcome to the SR community SirDrinksalot (great name btw!) 
I couldn't agree more with Neo's post which really says it all (I can't believe the guy is only 24! He's wise beyond his years...and has an incredible way with words!).
You need to take action now as you still have time to get your life and health back together! I'm 38 now and wish I had stopped at your age (or even better at Neo's age!) as my worst drinking years were the last few...even though I was a binge drinker since the age of 18.. (yeah drank pitchers of Stella myself in the early years when I moved to Brussels!). I'm almost 150 days on and I can assure you that you'll see life from a whole new perspective when the 'fog' lifts. At the beginning of this journey I made a list of all the terrible things which have happened when I've been drinking and all the people I've hurt and if I ever have the craving to drink I only need to look back at the list... I just can't afford to go back there - I don't like or respect the person I was and am gaining confidence in myself, meeting new people whose lives don't revolve around drinking/the pub, getting back into sport, going to Mass again, starting new hobbies and a self-management course, etc. I certainly don't miss the hangovers and blackouts and feel that I've gained a whole new day being able to get up early on Saturday and Sunday mornings!! Plus a year ago my cholesterol was well over 5 and it's just over 2 now!! I've been going to a nutritionist and am changing my way of eating/cooking for life!!
Anyway, I wish you the best of luck on this journey and please know that we are with you every step of the way!!
Big hugs,
Almath
I couldn't agree more with Neo's post which really says it all (I can't believe the guy is only 24! He's wise beyond his years...and has an incredible way with words!).
You need to take action now as you still have time to get your life and health back together! I'm 38 now and wish I had stopped at your age (or even better at Neo's age!) as my worst drinking years were the last few...even though I was a binge drinker since the age of 18.. (yeah drank pitchers of Stella myself in the early years when I moved to Brussels!). I'm almost 150 days on and I can assure you that you'll see life from a whole new perspective when the 'fog' lifts. At the beginning of this journey I made a list of all the terrible things which have happened when I've been drinking and all the people I've hurt and if I ever have the craving to drink I only need to look back at the list... I just can't afford to go back there - I don't like or respect the person I was and am gaining confidence in myself, meeting new people whose lives don't revolve around drinking/the pub, getting back into sport, going to Mass again, starting new hobbies and a self-management course, etc. I certainly don't miss the hangovers and blackouts and feel that I've gained a whole new day being able to get up early on Saturday and Sunday mornings!! Plus a year ago my cholesterol was well over 5 and it's just over 2 now!! I've been going to a nutritionist and am changing my way of eating/cooking for life!!
Anyway, I wish you the best of luck on this journey and please know that we are with you every step of the way!!
Big hugs,
Almath
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,505
Hi and Welcome,
I spent years determined to moderate my drinking. I was very stubborn. It never worked for very long and while I was doing it, I became completely obsessed with it. My mind was always working on when would I next drink, how much, etc. For me, stopping completely was a relief.
It's overwhelming to think of forever, so try to focus on today and stay sober for today.
I spent years determined to moderate my drinking. I was very stubborn. It never worked for very long and while I was doing it, I became completely obsessed with it. My mind was always working on when would I next drink, how much, etc. For me, stopping completely was a relief.
It's overwhelming to think of forever, so try to focus on today and stay sober for today.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Welcome Sir D
I'm an Aussie too and I wanted to address this...
Me too - I had mates who drank more than me, even.
But they always managed to get up and go to work the next day, they didn't need to bring home a couple of bottle of beers to 'unwind' further....they never worried as much as I did about the beer running out. They could drink just one cos they had to drive, and what's more, they seemed ok with that...
They didn't fall over and injure themselves, or damage their liver...and keep drinking against common sense, or the advice of their doc, or the wishes of partners....
I believe it's not so much how much you drink, as what happens to you when you do...or what happens to you when you don't have it.
It's about how much you think about it, and how scared you are to think about never having it again....
We've all been there SirD - you'll find a lot of support here
Welcome!
D
I'm an Aussie too and I wanted to address this...
I look at all my mates who I grew up with and we all do exactly the same and have the same drinking habits which makes me think its just the way we are, we cant all be alcoholics?
But they always managed to get up and go to work the next day, they didn't need to bring home a couple of bottle of beers to 'unwind' further....they never worried as much as I did about the beer running out. They could drink just one cos they had to drive, and what's more, they seemed ok with that...
They didn't fall over and injure themselves, or damage their liver...and keep drinking against common sense, or the advice of their doc, or the wishes of partners....
I believe it's not so much how much you drink, as what happens to you when you do...or what happens to you when you don't have it.
It's about how much you think about it, and how scared you are to think about never having it again....
We've all been there SirD - you'll find a lot of support here
Welcome!
D
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
It's about how much you think about it - Dee
SirDrinks - it sounds like alcohol is on your mind alot, too. You may find, though, that with some sober time behind you, you really don't even want to bother with that occasional drink because it's not worth going back to that obsession. I know it sounds impossible right now. I never thought I'd hear myself saying this a couple months ago either. Congratulations on your 4 days - hope you keep going!
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