Sliding down a slippery slope...
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Location: Virginia
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Sliding down a slippery slope...
I can't stop crying today... I'm missing him so very much. I don't know how to get rid of this pain. I don't even feel lonely.. I'm surrounded by a ton of people.. everyone, except the one person I want to be around.
Why am I still missing him? Why is it getting harder, when it should be getting easier?
I thought I was in a better place. I thought I was finally letting go of him. That stupid song on the radio today.. the song we used to make love to, just sent me down hill. I'm feeling like I could accept ANY of the insanity.. if I could just have him back. Even if not forever, just for a moment.
Am I the only one who feels this way? What's happening? Why is all my hard work, suddenly halted? Why, why why, can I be so happy, and doing so well... and suddenly, feeling like I'm back at square one.
I miss him so dang much. It doesn't matter how much pain he caused me, the lies, the drinking, the pills, the abuse.... what matters, is he's GONE.
I know this is a good thing... but damn if I am not blinded right now. How do you get through these feelings... besides just feeling them until they pass? No amount of doing anything, with anyone, takes them away. It doesn't matter how much I read here, how much progress I see in my life....
I just want to hold him.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? I suddenly, feel like a huge failure. I haven't even done anything to fail yet... but I shouldn't be having these thoughts! I should be rejoicing him being out of my life.. and I can't. I've been so upset all day.. I can't sleep. God, I miss him.
Why am I still missing him? Why is it getting harder, when it should be getting easier?
I thought I was in a better place. I thought I was finally letting go of him. That stupid song on the radio today.. the song we used to make love to, just sent me down hill. I'm feeling like I could accept ANY of the insanity.. if I could just have him back. Even if not forever, just for a moment.
Am I the only one who feels this way? What's happening? Why is all my hard work, suddenly halted? Why, why why, can I be so happy, and doing so well... and suddenly, feeling like I'm back at square one.
I miss him so dang much. It doesn't matter how much pain he caused me, the lies, the drinking, the pills, the abuse.... what matters, is he's GONE.
I know this is a good thing... but damn if I am not blinded right now. How do you get through these feelings... besides just feeling them until they pass? No amount of doing anything, with anyone, takes them away. It doesn't matter how much I read here, how much progress I see in my life....
I just want to hold him.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? I suddenly, feel like a huge failure. I haven't even done anything to fail yet... but I shouldn't be having these thoughts! I should be rejoicing him being out of my life.. and I can't. I've been so upset all day.. I can't sleep. God, I miss him.
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 545
Originally Posted by Jenny1232 
I can't stop crying today... I'm missing him so very much. I don't know how to get rid of this pain. I don't even feel lonely.. I'm surrounded by a ton of people.. everyone, except the one person I want to be around.
Why am I still missing him? Why is it getting harder, when it should be getting easier?
I thought I was in a better place. I thought I was finally letting go of him. That stupid song on the radio today.. the song we used to make love to, just sent me down hill. I'm feeling like I could accept ANY of the insanity.. if I could just have him back. Even if not forever, just for a moment.
Am I the only one who feels this way? What's happening? Why is all my hard work, suddenly halted? Why, why why, can I be so happy, and doing so well... and suddenly, feeling like I'm back at square one.
I miss him so dang much. It doesn't matter how much pain he caused me, the lies, the drinking, the pills, the abuse.... what matters, is he's GONE.
I know this is a good thing... but damn if I am not blinded right now. How do you get through these feelings... besides just feeling them until they pass? No amount of doing anything, with anyone, takes them away. It doesn't matter how much I read here, how much progress I see in my life....
I just want to hold him.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? I suddenly, feel like a huge failure. I haven't even done anything to fail yet... but I shouldn't be having these thoughts! I should be rejoicing him being out of my life.. and I can't. I've been so upset all day.. I can't sleep. God, I miss him.
Why am I still missing him? Why is it getting harder, when it should be getting easier?
I thought I was in a better place. I thought I was finally letting go of him. That stupid song on the radio today.. the song we used to make love to, just sent me down hill. I'm feeling like I could accept ANY of the insanity.. if I could just have him back. Even if not forever, just for a moment.
Am I the only one who feels this way? What's happening? Why is all my hard work, suddenly halted? Why, why why, can I be so happy, and doing so well... and suddenly, feeling like I'm back at square one.
I miss him so dang much. It doesn't matter how much pain he caused me, the lies, the drinking, the pills, the abuse.... what matters, is he's GONE.
I know this is a good thing... but damn if I am not blinded right now. How do you get through these feelings... besides just feeling them until they pass? No amount of doing anything, with anyone, takes them away. It doesn't matter how much I read here, how much progress I see in my life....
I just want to hold him.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? I suddenly, feel like a huge failure. I haven't even done anything to fail yet... but I shouldn't be having these thoughts! I should be rejoicing him being out of my life.. and I can't. I've been so upset all day.. I can't sleep. God, I miss him.
Be thankful for where you are. Write a gratitude list.
The more you think about "him"... the more it WILL hurt... sooner or later we learn that if we continue down the same path that hurts so darn much... we avoid that path... in relationships, personal beliefs, decisions... and yes even a song.
Tomorrow is another day... get a good nights rest...
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Alaska
Posts: 2,913
Jenny, take a deep breath. You're OK. Really. I remind myself often that even though it feels like I might be sliding back to square one, I'm really not. I have a bunch of tools, information, insights, etc. that I didn't have when I was originally at 'step one'.
I tell myself that it's OK to feel the way I'm feeling, but I then sometimes have to remind myself that I don't have to let it take over.
I agree with Hammerhead: the next time the song comes on the radio - turn it off, change the station. Make a list of all the things that are going well in your life. You made a list of all the bad things from the relationship? Read it. Remember just how bad that was and don't gloss it over, don't airbrush it, really remember that it was not acceptable or bearable and that it is good that you're gone from the relationship.
Hang in there, Jenny. Hugs.
I tell myself that it's OK to feel the way I'm feeling, but I then sometimes have to remind myself that I don't have to let it take over.
I agree with Hammerhead: the next time the song comes on the radio - turn it off, change the station. Make a list of all the things that are going well in your life. You made a list of all the bad things from the relationship? Read it. Remember just how bad that was and don't gloss it over, don't airbrush it, really remember that it was not acceptable or bearable and that it is good that you're gone from the relationship.
Hang in there, Jenny. Hugs.
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 19
Hmmm. Well. Sex definitely makes breaking up more difficult. I've been RIGHT where you are; when you see beyond all the hurt an unhealthy person causes to the few bright moments... Make a pros and cons list. I know it sounds cheesy, but I paid my therapist to teach me this. Make a list of his good traits and bad ones. Give point values to the really good and bad things and do the math... You are worth being treasured, TREASURED! Don't give up believing that for yourself.
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: minneapolis, mn
Posts: 2,762
Oh, Jenny, I get it. I totally get it.
I was exactly where you are just two short months ago. I still feel sad sometimes now, but when I focus on creating the life I wish to live in, it helps. Also, just acknowledging the sadness and the craziness of missing someone who often didn't treat me well but then not staying stuck there, helps.
But the deal you are making in your mind is dangerous, as your thread title suggests. I am so glad you didn't chuck it all, just for that hit (from your d.o.c.) to only be back at square one. That's progress!
Two steps forward and one back is just the nature of this. You will be fine. You are fine. You are moving forward toward a much healthier, happier life.
Christine
From a post by Noday the other day:
7 STAGES OF GRIEF
I was exactly where you are just two short months ago. I still feel sad sometimes now, but when I focus on creating the life I wish to live in, it helps. Also, just acknowledging the sadness and the craziness of missing someone who often didn't treat me well but then not staying stuck there, helps.
But the deal you are making in your mind is dangerous, as your thread title suggests. I am so glad you didn't chuck it all, just for that hit (from your d.o.c.) to only be back at square one. That's progress!
Two steps forward and one back is just the nature of this. You will be fine. You are fine. You are moving forward toward a much healthier, happier life.
Christine
From a post by Noday the other day:
7 STAGES OF GRIEF
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Location: Quebec
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Jenny...do you have YOUR song? Like a silly "Girl Power" song that you just love to dance around to, even in your undies, that makes you feel SO good about being you? Perhaps you have more than one...perhaps you have SEVERAL.
I think it's time you put together a Jenny Power Playlist. No matter how cheesy, as long as the songs make you feel GREAT, put them in a playlist, burn them on a CD/put them on your ipod and listen away. I did this for a while. I shamelessly listened to Lady Gaga (yes, you may all now laugh at me
), and pulled out some OLD Madonna/Destiny's Child songs and sang at the top of my lungs. That way, I wasn't a victim of whatever happened to be played on the radio.
As I recall from reading your previous posts, you're rather hard on yourself and tend to expect yourself to do things perfectly right away. STOP! Give yourself a break. You haven't been in No Contact Mode for that long. This is normal.
I think it's time you put together a Jenny Power Playlist. No matter how cheesy, as long as the songs make you feel GREAT, put them in a playlist, burn them on a CD/put them on your ipod and listen away. I did this for a while. I shamelessly listened to Lady Gaga (yes, you may all now laugh at me
), and pulled out some OLD Madonna/Destiny's Child songs and sang at the top of my lungs. That way, I wasn't a victim of whatever happened to be played on the radio. As I recall from reading your previous posts, you're rather hard on yourself and tend to expect yourself to do things perfectly right away. STOP! Give yourself a break. You haven't been in No Contact Mode for that long. This is normal.
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Join Date: Feb 2010
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Hey Jenny
I totally GET where you are! I have to remind myself that life WITH him was worse than life WITHOUT HIM!
As redcrow pointed out, you are a TREASURE, beloved! A TREASURE! The man you should seek is one that has integrity, character and honor. Have you read the story of Ruth from the Bible? I am holding out for my BOAZ...not BOZO! Boaz was a man of integrity and honor. That is the man who God is waiting to bless YOU with. Not some bozo that treats you like a doormat. Those men are easy to find. The true Boaz is HARD to find, but worth waiting for!
After reading Ruth, I realized that I was NOT the virtuous woman God has created me to be. In reading her story, I realized that my Boaz needs me to be more like Ruth. God is always working in us. He is working in you too, beloved! Step aside, let him shower you with love and abundance in your life. The only true love is Jesus! He can fill you up like no human love ever can or could. Human love FAILS. It just does. But the true love of Jesus will NEVER fail you, leave you or forsake you! Honest!
You are always in my prayers, that you may survive the storm and see the sun after the rain subsides!
I totally GET where you are! I have to remind myself that life WITH him was worse than life WITHOUT HIM!
As redcrow pointed out, you are a TREASURE, beloved! A TREASURE! The man you should seek is one that has integrity, character and honor. Have you read the story of Ruth from the Bible? I am holding out for my BOAZ...not BOZO! Boaz was a man of integrity and honor. That is the man who God is waiting to bless YOU with. Not some bozo that treats you like a doormat. Those men are easy to find. The true Boaz is HARD to find, but worth waiting for!
After reading Ruth, I realized that I was NOT the virtuous woman God has created me to be. In reading her story, I realized that my Boaz needs me to be more like Ruth. God is always working in us. He is working in you too, beloved! Step aside, let him shower you with love and abundance in your life. The only true love is Jesus! He can fill you up like no human love ever can or could. Human love FAILS. It just does. But the true love of Jesus will NEVER fail you, leave you or forsake you! Honest!
You are always in my prayers, that you may survive the storm and see the sun after the rain subsides!
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 1,118
Originally Posted by nodaybut2day
Jenny...do you have YOUR song? Like a silly "Girl Power" song that you just love to dance around to, even in your undies, that makes you feel SO good about being you? Perhaps you have more than one...perhaps you have SEVERAL.
I think it's time you put together a Jenny Power Playlist. No matter how cheesy, as long as the songs make you feel GREAT, put them in a playlist, burn them on a CD/put them on your ipod and listen away. I did this for a while. I shamelessly listened to Lady Gaga (yes, you may all now laugh at me), and pulled out some OLD Madonna/Destiny's Child songs and sang at the top of my lungs. That way, I wasn't a victim of whatever happened to be played on the radio.
I think it's time you put together a Jenny Power Playlist. No matter how cheesy, as long as the songs make you feel GREAT, put them in a playlist, burn them on a CD/put them on your ipod and listen away. I did this for a while. I shamelessly listened to Lady Gaga (yes, you may all now laugh at me
), and pulled out some OLD Madonna/Destiny's Child songs and sang at the top of my lungs. That way, I wasn't a victim of whatever happened to be played on the radio. 
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 19
Yeah- there's some bad country music that's great for this kind of thing! LeAnn Womack sings a song called: "I feel like I'm forgetting something." You don't want to be singing, "That was 20 years and two husbands ago." 
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Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Jenny, I think it's great that you have passions like rock-climbing.
My concern is, what internal work are you doing?
I can throw myself headfirst into all kinds of activities to stay busy, but I still need to do the internal work to heal.
Have you looked into Alanon or CoDA meetings?
I had a really hard time after I left the EXAH. I was on an emotional roller coaster for many months.
My problem was I never did the internal work, not until I hit a bottom 13 years later in my codependency.
My concern is, what internal work are you doing?
I can throw myself headfirst into all kinds of activities to stay busy, but I still need to do the internal work to heal.
Have you looked into Alanon or CoDA meetings?
I had a really hard time after I left the EXAH. I was on an emotional roller coaster for many months.
My problem was I never did the internal work, not until I hit a bottom 13 years later in my codependency.
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Originally Posted by Jenny1232
How do you get through these feelings... besides just feeling them until they pass? No amount of doing anything, with anyone, takes them away. It doesn't matter how much I read here, how much progress I see in my life....
My therapist helped me understand the paradox of avoiding discomfort. Nearly all my dysfunctional behaviors were a result of not wanting to feel uncomfortable feelings, from childhood on. The paradox is that those same behaviors ended up causing more suffering than the discomfort I was trying to avoid.
They are only feelings. They pass. Just like waves on the beach, they come and they go. You don't have to let them sweep you away, you only have to steady yourself when they hit and then wait for them to pass. They will.
L
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First ,I wanted to say.. it never even occured to me to TURN OFF THE RADIO. Duh. Thank you for that insight.. which is just silly I didn't think of that myself. Maybe I was in a bad, sad mood.. and just needed to cry.
Secondly, I'm feeling much better today. We did talk a bit (I know.. No Contact).. I suck at this whole thing. Well, simply, it was again, a thousand more reminders of why this guy is bad news. He twists my words, and again, throws all the blame on me. We've had minimal contact.. and I was getting confused, so I contacted him. *sighs* I think it was a good thing, because again, all hope was shattered.. and I'm left feeling relieved he's gone, yet again. Let's hope this time I can stick to the whole no contact thing. I'm not sure why it's so difficult, but it really is.
Thirdly, I love the idea behind a mixed "powerful" cd! I read somewhere, someone mentioning "not ready to make nice" by the Dixie Chicks, and I admit, I LOVE that song! Lady Gaga, Jimmy Buffett, and Lil Wayne (I know, odd mix) would also suffice as well! Good thing I like all sorts of music, because I have a whole realm to choose from. I'd glady take ideas! Love it!
I do realize how hard on myself I am.. and it's something I need to learn how to back off of doing. I always make myself feel so guilty for things. For instance, in what little conversations we had, he yet again, minimized his wrong-doings and emphasized how screwed up I am. I didn't really let it get to me this time. Well that's because I knew I was talking to a loon.
I want to thank everyone for responding to my thread, and offering me much needed encouragement. I'm not sure why I was feeling weak.. because I am pretty happy lately. I'm enjoying being single, and reading stories here is so uplifting, so encouraging. I want to be there, WITH you guys, on the happy side of the street! This guy drives me absolutely insane, I'm not sure why I even torture myself with the thoughts of who he could be, or who I thought he was. He's clearly NOT.
Lastly, Freedom. I appreciate your concern about the internal work. I consider myself to be doing that as well. I see a therapist, and I read a ton, ton, ton of self-help books. I'm constantly educating myself, doing things I haven't done in a long time that make me happy, and mapping out my "succesful" future that lies ahead of me. Perhaps, there is more I could be doing. I've tried Al-Anon, and I have been considering trying again. My schedule has been so busy with all of my 'activities' it's hard to squeeze it in. I realize that isn't a valid excuse, and I should just suck it up, and keep going. I'm really not sure how much it benefits me, but I can't completely dismiss it, until I've tried it, what, six times? Do you have any other suggestions?
Secondly, I'm feeling much better today. We did talk a bit (I know.. No Contact).. I suck at this whole thing. Well, simply, it was again, a thousand more reminders of why this guy is bad news. He twists my words, and again, throws all the blame on me. We've had minimal contact.. and I was getting confused, so I contacted him. *sighs* I think it was a good thing, because again, all hope was shattered.. and I'm left feeling relieved he's gone, yet again. Let's hope this time I can stick to the whole no contact thing. I'm not sure why it's so difficult, but it really is.
Thirdly, I love the idea behind a mixed "powerful" cd! I read somewhere, someone mentioning "not ready to make nice" by the Dixie Chicks, and I admit, I LOVE that song! Lady Gaga, Jimmy Buffett, and Lil Wayne (I know, odd mix) would also suffice as well! Good thing I like all sorts of music, because I have a whole realm to choose from. I'd glady take ideas! Love it!
I do realize how hard on myself I am.. and it's something I need to learn how to back off of doing. I always make myself feel so guilty for things. For instance, in what little conversations we had, he yet again, minimized his wrong-doings and emphasized how screwed up I am. I didn't really let it get to me this time. Well that's because I knew I was talking to a loon.
I want to thank everyone for responding to my thread, and offering me much needed encouragement. I'm not sure why I was feeling weak.. because I am pretty happy lately. I'm enjoying being single, and reading stories here is so uplifting, so encouraging. I want to be there, WITH you guys, on the happy side of the street!
This guy drives me absolutely insane, I'm not sure why I even torture myself with the thoughts of who he could be, or who I thought he was. He's clearly NOT.Lastly, Freedom. I appreciate your concern about the internal work. I consider myself to be doing that as well. I see a therapist, and I read a ton, ton, ton of self-help books. I'm constantly educating myself, doing things I haven't done in a long time that make me happy, and mapping out my "succesful" future that lies ahead of me. Perhaps, there is more I could be doing. I've tried Al-Anon, and I have been considering trying again. My schedule has been so busy with all of my 'activities' it's hard to squeeze it in. I realize that isn't a valid excuse, and I should just suck it up, and keep going. I'm really not sure how much it benefits me, but I can't completely dismiss it, until I've tried it, what, six times? Do you have any other suggestions?
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Virginia
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LTD, your words always encourage me! Thank you for that. I guess I'm doing the right thing.. by just feeling them.
Amazingly, those feelings have passed (for now) and today is a NEW day, and I feel so much better!
Amazingly, those feelings have passed (for now) and today is a NEW day, and I feel so much better!
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Kitchener Ontario
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I broke my no contact rule today too. He asked in a text if he could call me on my break, and I said yes. The conversation started out ok. I told him I no longer want to discuss our past relationship. But guess what came up. Apparently his alcoholic mother and her alcoholic friend (who just got out of a relationship with a severly controlling person i.e. she had to be home at exactly a certain time, had to call at exactly a certain time, was only allowed to go out with certain people) told him that our relationship was about me controlling him like she was controlled. I never controlled him or told him what to do. I always said, that the choice to drink was up to him, just that I would leave if he chose too. Apparently that's a controlling threat to demean and intimidate him. I said I never tried to control him, just the situations that we put ourselves in. If we were going to an event where alcohol was involved, it turned out bad 50% of the time. And then he says, well that's not all the time. I responded, no it isn't. But even one time going through the screaming and crying was one time too many.
Why do we hold on to these people. I think it is very true what I heard at al-anon last night, love the person, hate the disease. I do both of those, but how do you balance the two when it is a romantic situation?
Why do I let him turn it and make me feel guilty. He said that he only gets angry drunk when I'm there. I said yes, that might be true. And I know why. I won't sit there and watch him give other people lap dances while I am sitting there. He says his friends don't do that to him, try to control him, but I sad they aren't your friends. They were all laughing at him when he was drunk at work one time, he wasn't on duty, but he almost went behind the counter to screw around. I stopped him just in the nick of time. HAd he gone back there, he would have been fired. His "friends" thought the whole iea was hillarious. But that was also my enabling side, as now I see I should have let him go back there and deal with the consequences.
I know where you're at, because I am there too. NO CONTACT dammit, not until I stop feeling this angry anyway. And not until he can admit he has a problem.
Why do we hold on to these people. I think it is very true what I heard at al-anon last night, love the person, hate the disease. I do both of those, but how do you balance the two when it is a romantic situation?
Why do I let him turn it and make me feel guilty. He said that he only gets angry drunk when I'm there. I said yes, that might be true. And I know why. I won't sit there and watch him give other people lap dances while I am sitting there. He says his friends don't do that to him, try to control him, but I sad they aren't your friends. They were all laughing at him when he was drunk at work one time, he wasn't on duty, but he almost went behind the counter to screw around. I stopped him just in the nick of time. HAd he gone back there, he would have been fired. His "friends" thought the whole iea was hillarious. But that was also my enabling side, as now I see I should have let him go back there and deal with the consequences.
I know where you're at, because I am there too. NO CONTACT dammit, not until I stop feeling this angry anyway. And not until he can admit he has a problem.
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 534
I totally agree with LTD that you can only go through it. I mean, if you really want to heal, that is. You could go out and find a new rebound guy, you could drink it all away, etc., but the way you are doing it will help you to heal in ways you could have never imagined possible. Someone here on SR said something similar to what LTD said when I was going through the most intense pain. It made a lot of sense to me, even while I was in such pain. Sometimes when I'd be sobbing uncontrollably and just wanting to die, I'd think, "This is exactly how I'm supposed to feel. I'm exactly where I need to be right now." Jenny, you are exactly where you need to be right now too. However you feel is how you're supposed to feel, and you just need to honor your process. And honestly, one day, the rain clouds will clear and you will have gotten through the worst of it.
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Southeast of Disorder (FL)
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Alright sista!
Used to love her - Guns and Roses....Oops Wrong playlist, ignore that!
Okay we need some good "bad relationship, man bashing songs to feel good by"...hmmm lets see...anything off of Alanis Morissettes debut album would probably work. LOL
But lets see...My musical taste is crazy so let me see...
For anger time...
Whatever - Godsmack
Goodbye Earl - Dixie Chicks
Don't come around here no more - Tom Petty
Do Wacka do - Roger Miller
heehee!
For just good old depression mood...
How soon is now - The smiths
Quarterflash - Harden my heart
Any old 1980's The Cure.
Gloom, Despair and Agony On Me - HeeHaw.
For more upbeat feel good mood then...
This is your life - Swtichfoot
Break my stride - Mathew Wilder
Run away - Real Mcoy
there some old school stuff in there, and no rap so you might not like it. LOL
Disclaimer: A couple serious good choices in there mixed up with crap to hopefully lighten your mood.
Used to love her - Guns and Roses....Oops Wrong playlist, ignore that!
Okay we need some good "bad relationship, man bashing songs to feel good by"...hmmm lets see...anything off of Alanis Morissettes debut album would probably work. LOL
But lets see...My musical taste is crazy so let me see...
For anger time...
Whatever - Godsmack
Goodbye Earl - Dixie Chicks
Don't come around here no more - Tom Petty
Do Wacka do - Roger Miller
heehee!
For just good old depression mood...
How soon is now - The smiths
Quarterflash - Harden my heart
Any old 1980's The Cure.
Gloom, Despair and Agony On Me - HeeHaw.
For more upbeat feel good mood then...
This is your life - Swtichfoot
Break my stride - Mathew Wilder
Run away - Real Mcoy
there some old school stuff in there, and no rap so you might not like it. LOL
Disclaimer: A couple serious good choices in there mixed up with crap to hopefully lighten your mood.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Virginia
Posts: 685
PIERAT, I've heard of about 25% of that. Actually, I'm not a huge rap fan. I'm a country bumpkin, then comes rock/metal, classic rock, pop/rap. I suppose I can youtube your beautiful list lol! It's the thought that counts! So thanks, brotha!
Actually, my song from Tom Petty, that I dedicated to him was, "you got lucky babe". Haha, how arrogant!
Hurtingbad, obviously, it's very difficult for us BOTH, but they really aren't worth it. I agree, the one night of crying... is one too many. And, what guy gives lap dances? My ex told me that I was the ONLY person who ever made him rage. He said no one has ever infuriated him like I do, and I'm the only one to make him punch doors, and throw objects. Well guess what, that's not what his ex-girlfriends told me. Funny, huh? I highly doubt you're the only one to make him that angry. Chances are, he'll never admit he has a problem. At least the likelihood is very low, so I wouldn't count on it.
Count your losses, and move on. That's what I tell myself, at least.
Wanting, thank you! I will continue to tell myself I'm right where I need to be. I knew that was a song.. another country song, haha! Too bad it's a 'love' song.
Anyway, I'm off on one of my, I'm tired, happy, weird tangents.
:rotfxko
Actually, my song from Tom Petty, that I dedicated to him was, "you got lucky babe". Haha, how arrogant!
Hurtingbad, obviously, it's very difficult for us BOTH, but they really aren't worth it. I agree, the one night of crying... is one too many. And, what guy gives lap dances? My ex told me that I was the ONLY person who ever made him rage. He said no one has ever infuriated him like I do, and I'm the only one to make him punch doors, and throw objects. Well guess what, that's not what his ex-girlfriends told me. Funny, huh? I highly doubt you're the only one to make him that angry. Chances are, he'll never admit he has a problem. At least the likelihood is very low, so I wouldn't count on it.
Count your losses, and move on. That's what I tell myself, at least.
Wanting, thank you! I will continue to tell myself I'm right where I need to be. I knew that was a song.. another country song, haha! Too bad it's a 'love' song.
Anyway, I'm off on one of my, I'm tired, happy, weird tangents.
:rotfxko
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