onestepforward

27 days sober today yay!
Here's the deal. I am in the mental health profession. I work at a mental health hospital. I've also worked the addiction and recovery unit there. I also work with a lot of people who are in recovery themselves. Despite the fact that I know my coworkers would be supportive of me, I also know that it could jeopordize my career (i've seen it happen to others).

So basically the local AA rooms are filled with my former patients, and many of my coworkers. It is a very enmeshed system. I am hard pressed to find the comfortability to open up at a meeting where I feel I could be recognized. I need to develop a sober network of friends, but seperate from my professional life.

I know the ropes of recovery, but helping others, and doing it yourself are two different things. I feel so alone! I grew tired of living the double life, but still feel as though I have to live it.

BTW: when I wanted to go to rehab, I was told by my health care ins. co. that the only place for me to go would be....my own job! I would otherwise have to go through and appeals process.

Any feedback is appreciated!

sleepie

Have you considered Smart Recovery?

hendershot

my only suggestion would be shopping around meetings. SoCal has a ton of good ones. You should be able to find some where you are comforable and don't know others. Congrats on the 27 days.

artsoul

Are you afraid to talk freely because you only have 27 days? I could understand how that might jeopardize your job, especially if it's a requirement that you have to have a certain numbers of months sober in order to work with others.

Interesting dilemma.... Can you still go to meetings and not divulge your sobriety date? A lot of people in recovery-related jobs are recovering themselves (and one could say it's a real plus), so if you just went to the meetings and didn't talk about sensitive issues, it might be better than not going at all... (?) I can't imagine that your former patients would think you're "less than" for attending meetings.

least

I would not find it upsetting or 'bad' at all if my counselor were at a meeting. On the contrary, I'd admire her for her courage in facing an addiction.

It is possible to recover and stay sober without any formal 'program' at all, many people here stay clean and sober just with the help of this site. Can you go to counseling yourself? Or is your mental health hospital/group/agency the only place in town? I can understand your trepidation at seeing clients and such at meetings, I guess I'd be nervous too. No matter what method or path you take to stay sober, work it with all your strength.

Congrats on your sober time and welcome to the SR family!

Anna

I hope you can find an answer for your recovery.

In the meantime, you can always come here and find people who understand what you are going through.

coming_clean

isnt AA about being anonymous?? it shouldn´t be a problem, we´re all the same in that room, what happens outside happens outside. Still I understand your underlying feeling.

congrats on your 27th day!!!!!

susanlauren

One Step Forward,
There are a couple of treatment professionals who attend meetings that I attend. They are the same as any other member of AA -- equally accepted. Most people do not disclose what they do for a living in the general conversations. And honestly, it doesn't matter. AA is one of the most level playing fields of any organization. Race, social status, education, profession, etc. really don't matter. What matters is one's recovery and one's spirituality.

IMHO, you should do what you need to do for your own recovery and not worry about running into former clients or colleagues. Everyone at an AA meeting is there for the same reason -- to stay sober and to help others achieve sobriety. I have never had my anonymity breached in the two years that I have attended AA. If your employer were to discriminate against you or discipline you for being in recovery, I would think you would have one hell of a lawsuit for violations of the Americans With Disabilities Act.

In the beginning, I worried about running into someone I knew from work or from church. I worried for nothing. I've run into a couple of people from church, and we are now good friends. One of my coworkers who was alcoholic bonded over our common disease. It hasn't been a problem at all.

I also worried about my professional licenses -- what if the state boards found out I was alcoholic and in recovery? I worried about that for naught too. What could the state board do? Order me into a recovery program? I'm already there. I think you should focus on what you need to do to take care of yourself/ work on recovery and leave the work, client and co-worker worries in the hands of your Higher Power.
Susan Lauren

onestepforward

Thanks you so much everybody for your feedback! Coming Clean, you are absolutely right about "anonymous". Thanks Susanlauren for the comment about Higher Power...wow we really sure tend to go about thinking we can control everything huh. Funny how when I was active in my addiction I didn't think twice about the possible consequences of my drinking, which would have possibly ended up in my license being revoked. Wow...

Someone once said adjust your mentality about your "inability" to attend a meeting. If someone were offering you $10,000 you'd find a way : )

Thank you all. You are all so special to me.

CarolD

Welcome and well done on your early sobriety....

Members of our local police attend meetings at another town.
One told me that makes him more comfortable when sharing.

All my best .