Notices

wanted to say hi

Old 06-26-2010, 07:23 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: wherever my feet take me
Posts: 1,314
Smile wanted to say hi

hey guys! I havent been here in years. I ve been doing really well and now that i have my **** together I thought I would say hello to all my old friends and the new friends I hope to make. I think I can talk about drugs and alcohol now without feeling the need to use either one. It took a few years for me to get to that place and now i feel secure, and I think I finally have something to offer cause I have found my way to sobriety after a very very long haul. I havent reread my old posts but im sure most of them arent very pretty.

For all those newcomers i cant tell you how to find the freedom I found. Im still not quite sure what happened. one day all I thought of was getting high and then one day I realized I hadnt gotten high in a few weeks and before i knew it years had passed.
For those that knew me you know I fought going to rehab cause I didnt want to leave my cat. he is one of the reasons I finally ot it together. I am sorry to say he passed on 05/08/2010. I loved him. he was old and i believe he knew I was finally Ok and so...... GOD Bless you puffers. GOD Bless all of you....
Change4life is offline  
Old 06-26-2010, 07:40 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,040
Hey Beth

I'm so glad to hear you're doing well. I wondered how you were

Welcome back
D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 06-26-2010, 07:47 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: wherever my feet take me
Posts: 1,314
HI Dee Im glad to see your still here. how is everything? Glad to be back
Change4life is offline  
Old 06-26-2010, 08:27 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,040
I'm just fine - going well
See you round the board

and I'm sorry about your cat too
D

Last edited by Dee74; 06-26-2010 at 08:44 PM.
Dee74 is offline  
Old 06-26-2010, 08:32 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,237
Hi Change!! Welcome back to SR... glad to hear that you are doing so well... you are such an inspiration!! I'm 5 months sober, and couldn't feel better!! it's hard to believe how fast time flies!! I look forward to hearing from..and I'm really sorry about your kitty... I have 2 cats..and they are my girls..love them to bits...it's always hard when our furbabies leave us.

Take care!!
loveon2legs is offline  
Old 06-26-2010, 08:33 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
Lenina's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
Change4Life,

So good to see you again! I've thought about you so often and am so glad to know you're doing well. Sorry to hear about the loss of your cat. I know that's hard and I do believe you're right, he probably knew you were better.

Do stick around and let's see more of you!

Love,

Lenina
Lenina is offline  
Old 06-26-2010, 08:42 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
HumbleBee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Buzz-free Zone
Posts: 1,372
Hello and welcome back!

SR continues to be such an important part of my recovery.

I was in such unbearable pain and I reached out for anything/everything I could to make it stop.

I had no expectations; I just wanted the pain to go away; that was almost 2 years ago.

The pain has gone away ten-fold and I'm living a life I never knew existed.

I'm sure you have alot of support to offer. It's nice to meet you and I look forward to sharing more with you.

I'm sorry to hear about Puffers. Our beloved animals are so amazing at standing by us through some rough stuff. God bless them all.
HumbleBee is offline  
Old 06-27-2010, 08:24 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: wherever my feet take me
Posts: 1,314
Smile

The first 3 years were no picnic. I separated myself from all people, places, and things. I was bored and lonely. I never felt safe and I didnt trust myself at all. Friends didnt understand y I stopped coming around and really disliked me when i stopped talking to them completely.
a lot of hurt feelings, one very good friend accused me of abandoning him. I explained that as long as he was using I couldnt see him and requested he not talk about drugs if he felt the need to call. he couldnt follow my what I thought was a simple rule so He was cut off. I changed my number my job and then my address. my first year and a half all I did was go to work and then back home. Boring....but necessary. meetings just didnt work so I decided to keep to myself. I started a journal/workbook and then was more helpful than I could have ever imagined.
Going against court orders I quit my counseling sessions, both private and group. i felt like the sessions just kept perpetuating my negative self image. Although I dont suggest it for everyone it was a new beginning for me.
with 2 years clean I became close to someone I had only spoken to occasionally. Thats when things got much easier we moved in together and I wasnt lonely anymore and we took care of each other. Not being alone anymore I was able to start going out again, i needed that support.I still had cravings if I saw someone I use to hang with but they would come and go quickly. I joined the lions club and ended up president of the club after 3 years of service. SERVICE, IMPORTANT. There is something very theraputic about helping others. Really really helpful in recovery.
I graduated HS in 79. I lost touch with all my friends because of the drugs. thanks to being clean and facebook. I have reconnected with almost all my old buddies and gotten together with a few of them. My old bf was worried I would be all tough and fd up because of the life I lived but she said I havent changed. That was nice to hear but the truth is I changed a lot. I was all tough living and playing in the streets but I softened up again. and thanks to pat you could even say im mushy.
I now live in a new state with my partner and there r a lot of drugs here. we moved into a complex where everyone used. I though it was going to be my downfall, but it actually turned me off to the drugs cause of watching everyone all fd up all the time. I survived that place and now we moved into a nice place 1 block from the beach. Instead of cracking up all day I spend my time snorkeling and collecting shells.
aside from having trouble finding work life is pretty nice. I have some residual health problems but Im pluggin along. I am actually happy
Change4life is offline  
Old 06-27-2010, 09:08 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,237
Awesome!! Change!!! Awesome!!
loveon2legs is offline  
Old 06-27-2010, 09:19 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
Omega10's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Toronto
Posts: 318
What an inspirational story! Thank you for sharing, and welcome back!
Omega10 is offline  
Old 06-27-2010, 09:37 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Thanks for posting your story.

peace
NEOMARXIST is offline  
Old 06-27-2010, 09:47 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,325
Beth,

I have often thought about you and wondered how you were doing.

It's super to know that you are well and happy!
Anna is offline  
Old 06-27-2010, 09:53 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: wherever my feet take me
Posts: 1,314
HI anna I often think of you as well. hope all is going well for you.
Change4life is offline  
Old 06-27-2010, 10:11 AM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Southern Oregon
Posts: 87
Hi Change

I was just reading the new posts and came across yours... we have much in common. It was really good to read your story, inspired me very much. I had 15 years in recovery from street drugs and relapsed last year. I'm almost at 6 mo now. I'm glad you came back here to share with us! I hope to keep seein you around.

I'm so sorry to hear about your kittie... I know it was hard. I had to give up my doggie and my kittie ran away when I moved.. so I feel for you.

Congratulations on putting YEARS together!! I can't wait until I too can say the same, but I'm living every second like it was my last one for now.

Welcome back!
Lori
Desert2trees is offline  
Old 06-27-2010, 10:47 AM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: wherever my feet take me
Posts: 1,314
Dont give up lori. Ive been having a good run of sobriety but its always in the back of my mind that I could relapse and that scares me. I dont know if I could recover after the last stint. if I go back to that im dead for sure. I dont want to be dead... so I keep my head up and focus on the future. every once in awhile I start to think about the past and how I screwed up and I look at my life and realize how many more challenges I have because of all my screw ups but I think about how much harder life was when I was high and it snaps me back. When i think of using I play the tape all the way through. I use to stop the tape on the feeling of that hit or drink but now I go to the end and all the problems and im like f that. too tired for all that now.
Change4life is offline  
Old 06-27-2010, 12:35 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: wherever my feet take me
Posts: 1,314
when I said the first 3 years were no picnic I made a mistake I meant the first 2 years. sorry about that.
Change4life is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:45 AM.