wolf99

I think i'm an alcoholic. Both of my parents have been alcoholics my whole life, and I started drinking to cope with the pain of that when I was about 14 or 15...maybe earlier, I can't even really remember for sure. Now I can't seem to stop. I can never just have one, it always ends up spiraling into a blackout. I have a DUI...which I don't even remember getting into the car and driving away. I've tried to quit several times, but I find it realllllllly hard to right now because I am living at home. I am only 21 years old, this is not normal. I can't stand feeling ill all of the time, and I even sometimes get the shakes. I isolate myself too hide my drinking. The longest i've gone without a drink is about 1 month in the last 5 years. I have nobody to support me, or nobody that cares if i'm okay. I really need someone that understands, I am desperate. I don't know what to do. I have nobody, and I never have.

Shygirl

Hi Wolf99, how are you...? I've been at this ( alcohol) for 20 years.....I'll be 37 next month and I'm desperated to stay sober.....I know the grass is greener on the other side...Don't loose hope because I haven't. I'm on day 2 once again.....Let's hang in there.............

WhiteWave

Wolf, you are more than welcome here, and I lend you my friendship and full support in sobriety. I certainly don't worry whether you've put down the bottle yet, or if you're stone sober right now. The thing is, you're here, and that's HUGE!

I started at almost the same age as you, and didn't fully stop until this year (I'm 26 now). Let that show you that you CAN stop. I'm afraid that you might be not only psychologically addicted, but also quite physically addicted to alcohol. That's dangerous, even for someone as young as you. Stopping suddenly can even be fatal. So please, PLEASE, make one of the next things you do be a talk and appointment with a normal family care doctor - even an urgent care. Be COMPLETELY honest - they've heard it before, and your age won't shock them - our demographic as alcoholics is surprisingly large. Don't feel bad if they recommend going to a detox place and possibly doing an inpatient stay (some are 3 days, some are 30... and you're not forced to stay - you can leave if you absolutely hate it)

I don't know enough of your situation to make any more suggestions, but I hope what I've said helps at least a little.

Again, welcome, and I'm rooting for ya!

Blessed be,
WW

Anna

Hi Wolf,

Welcome and I am so glad you found us!

Alcoholism is a disease which affects us physically, mentally and emotionally. I was completely isolated too when I finally stopped drinking, and my family had given up on me. Have faith that you can stop drinking and believe that you deserve a good life.

Please talk to your dr before you stop drinking because it can be dangerous to detox from alcohol. There is always someone here at SR on the boards, so you can always find support here.

onestepforward

Hey Wolf,
What a great start to post on this forum. Takes a huge amount of courage. I don't know where you are located, but I 2nd what other have said...get to an M.D., also look around for low-cost (if $$ is an issue) mental health clinic, and perhaps try to find a 12 step meeting. In the meantime, keep looking through these forums, I have found them to be my lifeline in my past 26 days of sobriety.
Good luck to you. It shows great strength to admit you have a problem. That's the first start. I will keep you in my thoughts.

artsoul

Hi Wolf - I'm glad you're here. We know what you're going through, so you're not alone anymore. Admitting you have a problem and reaching out for help is huge. And you can get out of the vicious cycle like many others here have.

Keep reading and posting. It's important to get all the support you need right now. You can do it!

sobermax

Hi Wolf,

You're in exactly the right place.

Keep reading, posting and you'll see that there are many people on SR who'll help you to get and stay sober, if that's what you want.

There are many options open to you, and things aren't as hopeless as they might seem.

I knew I had a drinking problem when I was 21 but it has taken me another 15 years to address it properly.

aasharon90

Hi Im Sharon and Im
an Alcoholic.

By the grace of my HP
and people like you here
in SR I havent found it
necessary to pick up a
drink of alcohol since
8-11-90.

For that and you I am
truely grateful.

In early recovery I did
whatever I could to the
best of my ability to
stay sober.

In the beginning i stayed
sober because of my
family.

Time went on and I learned
to stay sober for me. Even
tho my family approved of
me not drinking anymore,
my recovery belong to me
and no one else.

I found happiness within
me, myself and I. I felt
free from the obsession
and huge bundle of baggage
i carried on my shoulders
for so long.

I learned to let go of shame,
resentment, guilt, dishonesty
and much more.

Once i delt with those defects
of character i felt the weight
of the world lifted off my
shoulders.

Today some many one days
at a time collected sober
down the road, I am enjoy-
ing the promises that are
mentioned in the Big Book
of Alcoholics Anonymous.

There was a time in my
life that i didnt want to
live any longer.

With help from an awesome
program of recovery I no
longer want to die, but
rather live helping the new
comer like urself find another
way of life than the one u r
living now.

Because of that I have a
purpose in life. And for that
Im granted another day of
being sober. Happy Joyous
and Free.

eleanor

Hi Wolf & welcome,

You may feel alone right now but let me assure you - you are NOT. There are people out there who will care about you. Just reach out. Find an AA meeting in your area and you'll be astounded by the warmth and welcoming nature of the people there.

The people here at SR are fantastic, too. I know it may feel impossible to break away from your life right now, but there is something better out there for you/us. Hang in there.

Dee74

Welcome to SR Wolf99

D

smacked

Welcome, wolf! We care, and understand, how bout that?

Glad you found us!

least

Welcome to the SR family! This place helped me get and stay sober (almost seven months now!) and I hope we can give you as much help. Have you considered going to some AA meetings? I find them helpful when I go. I also go to an addiction counselor once a week and she is very helpful to me, in all areas of my life. My biggest connection to recovery is this site. Im on here a lot and it really helps me to read of others' struggles and successes, and it also helps me stay sober by helping others stay sober.

I am glad you joined our recovery family!

wolf99

Thank you all so much for your responses. I was tearing up just reading all of the supportive things that you all have said. I'm so glad I found this site! I think it will be a huge help to me. I'm going to try to go into therapy as soon as possible...i've been reading about certain issues that children of alcoholics can get because of how they were raised, and there are a lot of them that I feel I have to a severe degree. It is very hard to come out of denial about how traumatizing everything has been...but the more and more I do it the better things seem, and I know that it will just keep getting better the more I work on it. Its a very long process,lol. I've been trying to just take care of myself, exercise, eat right, get enough sleep and not drink. But after about a week of that I always give in to drinking...its a never ending cycle. Whenever I feel the need to drink I will come here...its seems to have helped so many people, so maybe it will work for me. I will give it a shot Lots of love to everyone here, it is nice to hear from honest people.