Goodbye computer
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 1,130
Goodbye computer
Last week, I made a hard decision. I chose to get rid of my home computer. I had been thinking about doing this for some time because I have come to realise that it was standing in the way of my recovery.
Basically, I like to drink and surf the web and when I am binging these sessions can last a long, long time. When I'm drinking, my inhibitions are removed and I am then drawn into chatrooms, adult sites and erotic forums which reinforce my addictive behaviour. I don't want to binge like that any more.
Obviously it was hard to get rid of the computer becuase I also use it for SR, some work things, a lot of social things and for listening to music. But I simply did not have the strength to stop viewing the sexual material online.
A few months ago, I cancelled my internet connection for a few weeks but restored it when I felt lonely. That's not going to be an option now the computer has physically been removed by a friend to whom I explained the problem.
I can still go online at work and usually have some private time each day to come into the forum if I need to. But that's it for me at home. One immediate benefit is that the area where the computer and keyboard used to be is now all clean and tidy for the first time in years. I think I may buy some flowers and put them in a vase where the monitor used to be.
Has anybody else taken such drastic action to break the link between surfing and drinking?
Basically, I like to drink and surf the web and when I am binging these sessions can last a long, long time. When I'm drinking, my inhibitions are removed and I am then drawn into chatrooms, adult sites and erotic forums which reinforce my addictive behaviour. I don't want to binge like that any more.
Obviously it was hard to get rid of the computer becuase I also use it for SR, some work things, a lot of social things and for listening to music. But I simply did not have the strength to stop viewing the sexual material online.
A few months ago, I cancelled my internet connection for a few weeks but restored it when I felt lonely. That's not going to be an option now the computer has physically been removed by a friend to whom I explained the problem.
I can still go online at work and usually have some private time each day to come into the forum if I need to. But that's it for me at home. One immediate benefit is that the area where the computer and keyboard used to be is now all clean and tidy for the first time in years. I think I may buy some flowers and put them in a vase where the monitor used to be.
Has anybody else taken such drastic action to break the link between surfing and drinking?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
I used to drink and surf the net for hours and hours. Often until the sun would come up.
I used to send the most absurd, sometimes silly, sometimes angry emails and forget that I wrote them. Many times I would wake up, open Facebook, and delete the little updates tab before I could see them. Once I deleted my whole facebook account after a night of drunk-posting.
I think some flowers sounds like a great idea to fill the space.
I used to send the most absurd, sometimes silly, sometimes angry emails and forget that I wrote them. Many times I would wake up, open Facebook, and delete the little updates tab before I could see them. Once I deleted my whole facebook account after a night of drunk-posting.
I think some flowers sounds like a great idea to fill the space.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: My world
Posts: 379
You've recognized a trigger and you are removing it. Whatever works for you. Would I do the same? Absolutely, 100%.
Good for you. Maybe spend the money the internet cost on something permanent to put in it's place or keep buying flowers. Sounds like a lovely idea.
Well done.
Good for you. Maybe spend the money the internet cost on something permanent to put in it's place or keep buying flowers. Sounds like a lovely idea.
Well done.
Last edited by Saphie; 06-24-2010 at 04:25 AM. Reason: Can't spell this morning
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,777
You got rid of your computer? Wow! That's brave! I know I couldn't do it cause I live alone (except during the summer) and don't go out much so it's just me and my dogs and my computer keeping me connected to the rest of the world.
I admire your courage in taking such a drastic step to help your recovery! More power to ya!
I admire your courage in taking such a drastic step to help your recovery! More power to ya!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Buzz-free Zone
Posts: 1,372
I'm just catching up on some posts so don't know if you'll see this, but for what it's worth...
Have you considered treating the sexual addiction itself through therapy, counseling, or any other support program?
The removal of your computer to stop the behavior sounds alot like how I used to move to another city or state, thinking that would stop my alcoholism; things would be better in a new place and I would magically not drink anymore.
Of course that didn't happen.
Packing up and moving just changed the location of my problems.
If you have an underlying addiction and simply remove obstacles to avoid it, you're not really addressing the root of the problem and it can manifest itself in other ways.
Or, you might trade that addicition for another one and end up removing obstacles to avoid that behavior. It could become a vicious cycle of removing all of the external things in your life without doing anything about the internal thinking that's fueling the addiction.
It's the behavior itself that has to change.
Just a thought, EP...we live in a techno-driven world...cutting off your nose to spite your face doesn't seem like the answer to me (imho).
Take care of yourself.
Have you considered treating the sexual addiction itself through therapy, counseling, or any other support program?
The removal of your computer to stop the behavior sounds alot like how I used to move to another city or state, thinking that would stop my alcoholism; things would be better in a new place and I would magically not drink anymore.
Of course that didn't happen.
Packing up and moving just changed the location of my problems.
If you have an underlying addiction and simply remove obstacles to avoid it, you're not really addressing the root of the problem and it can manifest itself in other ways.
Or, you might trade that addicition for another one and end up removing obstacles to avoid that behavior. It could become a vicious cycle of removing all of the external things in your life without doing anything about the internal thinking that's fueling the addiction.
It's the behavior itself that has to change.
Just a thought, EP...we live in a techno-driven world...cutting off your nose to spite your face doesn't seem like the answer to me (imho).
Take care of yourself.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Endless,
Pretty good move I think ; ....for starters .
Most everyone thinks getting the booze out the house initially can never hurt a recovering alcoholic . Years ago I fell into a wicked gambling habit without realizing it, and the home PC was my conduit. Since I always abhored gambling of any kind, it suprised me when I fell into the habit of "investing" (daily gambling, actually ) in the stock market.
Made money at first, lost some , made some, ....viscous cycle that eventually made my life unmanageable over a period of almost a decade . Just getting rid of a PC was not nearly enough to deal with what was going on with me
......the first step was recognizing the problem, and , like recovery from alcohol, doing the work neccesary to find out some of the reasons I was susceptable to such thinking. For me , recognizing my powerlessness over the addiction was a starting point anyway.
Thanks for the post.
Sounds like you understand the seriousness of your situation.
Congratulations on taking some action.
Hope you're able to keep moving forward , ...
I like to access SR at the library , ....another alcohol-free zone !!
.
Pretty good move I think ; ....for starters .
Most everyone thinks getting the booze out the house initially can never hurt a recovering alcoholic . Years ago I fell into a wicked gambling habit without realizing it, and the home PC was my conduit. Since I always abhored gambling of any kind, it suprised me when I fell into the habit of "investing" (daily gambling, actually ) in the stock market.
Made money at first, lost some , made some, ....viscous cycle that eventually made my life unmanageable over a period of almost a decade . Just getting rid of a PC was not nearly enough to deal with what was going on with me
......the first step was recognizing the problem, and , like recovery from alcohol, doing the work neccesary to find out some of the reasons I was susceptable to such thinking. For me , recognizing my powerlessness over the addiction was a starting point anyway.
Thanks for the post.
Sounds like you understand the seriousness of your situation.
Congratulations on taking some action.
Hope you're able to keep moving forward , ...
I like to access SR at the library , ....another alcohol-free zone !!
.
Last edited by topspin; 06-27-2010 at 01:49 AM. Reason: sp?
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