Benjamin33

I was whining in another thread about how miserable I am after a little over 2 months sober. One person replied asking me about my inventory steps and what I got out of them. I am really glad that he brought this up because I have always felt that doing steps 4 and 5 should have been, in some way, "more." Accordingly, if some of you who have been sober a while]and are honestly enjoying it, would tell me in as much detail as you dare about your 4th and 5th steps, I would be really grateful.

Thanks,

Ben

Boleo

Thanks to the fact that I had many relapses I also had a chance to do many 4th steps. After a while I saw a pattern to my motives for resentments, fears and harms done to others.

Most of my resentments were due to delusional thinking.

Most of my fears were due to delusional thinking.

Most of my harms to others was due to delusional thinking.

Benjamin33

I definitely think that delusional thinking in many aspects of my life has caused me much pain and contributed to my alcoholism. Particularly, the fact that I delude myself into thinking that other people think certain things about me. Then, when I find out that I am not a snowflake of admiration and awe, I am hurt. I.e. Through a constant focus on myself, I consistantly place myself in a position to be hurt.

Thanks for the response,

Ben

Brucel

Boleo, I love your picture. It brought tears to my eyes when I first saw it, then I started thinking after awhile that man, that little furry dude is just like us. We get knocked down, but we get up again. Thanks for the moment. As for Ben, hey, check this out, my first 4th step allowed me to disengage all the boat anchors that had held me back most of my life. It wasn't till the next time that I started to see all the imput I had personally had in my misery. Keep sober, no matter what, and with work, the rest will fall in place. Give yourself a break and a slap on the back dude. YOU GOT 64 DAYS! God Bless

HideorSeek

Hi Ben,

I'm not exactly sure what you are asking, but I know many people who do 4ths and 5ths many times, when they feel the need. Personally, it was very clarifying. I had to really think about for whom I harbored resentments and why. A pattern started to emerge: expectations, arrogance and fear are my biggest obstacles. Once I could "see" that, I was able to start dealing with dismantling them when they arise. I have no doubt that were I to do another 4th, other stuff would come out. The old "More will be revealed" thought. But what they did give me was a starting point. It's never "over" you know.....