My surprising 'Ping"
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Reality, NJ
Posts: 853
My surprising 'Ping"
Its been weeks of no contact. Almost a month. I have been fine. Pretty great actually. I requested he be served the divorce paper last week but not sure that happened yet and I dont want to know. That is my lawyer's job and I am sure she will tell me when I need to know.
I had a lovely day alone yesterday. We had one outstanding issue between him and I and I refused to ping him about it. I figured I can bring it up to my lawyer, it was our tax refund we were waiting for. A few months ago before I knew how he was taking his mistress on vacation with him I wanted to be a good person and file jointly to save him 4K as he had nothing to itemize and I would get the whole refund. That was before I knew anything though.
Well, I havent used it as an excuse to ping him. And today he texts me he is sending it to me today. I am proud to say I didnt and wont respond. I have a lawyer for these things. Not sure he got served but what I do know is boy what a trigger.
I have him listed in my cell phone as A$$hole so when I saw it pop up my heart raced. I got depressed and scared. I just dont want to go back there and even if that meant missing out on my refund..I wasnt going back to that place. We all know he didnt have to text me, he could have just mailed it. What did he want..a thank you after all the other stuff he did? No contact is wonderful. I am a bit shaken up but getting my Alanon books out and maybe taking a walk in a little while. I had to share because I feel unbalanced now. I cant believe one text message made me so jumpy. It was like an electric current through my body..
Thanks for listening,
Hugs
Lulu
I had a lovely day alone yesterday. We had one outstanding issue between him and I and I refused to ping him about it. I figured I can bring it up to my lawyer, it was our tax refund we were waiting for. A few months ago before I knew how he was taking his mistress on vacation with him I wanted to be a good person and file jointly to save him 4K as he had nothing to itemize and I would get the whole refund. That was before I knew anything though.
Well, I havent used it as an excuse to ping him. And today he texts me he is sending it to me today. I am proud to say I didnt and wont respond. I have a lawyer for these things. Not sure he got served but what I do know is boy what a trigger.
I have him listed in my cell phone as A$$hole so when I saw it pop up my heart raced. I got depressed and scared. I just dont want to go back there and even if that meant missing out on my refund..I wasnt going back to that place. We all know he didnt have to text me, he could have just mailed it. What did he want..a thank you after all the other stuff he did? No contact is wonderful. I am a bit shaken up but getting my Alanon books out and maybe taking a walk in a little while. I had to share because I feel unbalanced now. I cant believe one text message made me so jumpy. It was like an electric current through my body..
Thanks for listening,
Hugs
Lulu
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Lulu, what a marvel it has been, watching you grow!
Perhaps cranking some music up and listening to the beat, or singing the words might help out? I know it helps me get out of my head for a bit.
Personally I prefer dancing around while singing.
The dogs get a good laugh out of it.
Perhaps cranking some music up and listening to the beat, or singing the words might help out? I know it helps me get out of my head for a bit.
Personally I prefer dancing around while singing.
The dogs get a good laugh out of it.
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 132
Lulu that is so funny. My x is programmed in teh same way.
I know exactly how you feel. Isnt it strange that contact can do that? When i got mine on friday night, my hands were shaking. I hate that.
You are an inspiration. I love your posts. keep up the great work and keep posting!
I know exactly how you feel. Isnt it strange that contact can do that? When i got mine on friday night, my hands were shaking. I hate that.
You are an inspiration. I love your posts. keep up the great work and keep posting!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Originally Posted by lulu1974 
DeVon!!!! I loved it!!! Much love to you because its just wanted I needed to refocus. How did I get so lucky to find you guys?
I'm just chock full 'o' goodies from youtube if you need some belly laughs.
:ghug3
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Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 1,057
You handled this one like a pro. Pat yourself on the back, Lulu, and...thanks for sharing this with us.
Mine was in my phone as Jacka$$ of the Year. I remember the same kind of electric current you're talking about... It's like they have radar...when they know we're settling into a better place, they pounce.
Mine was in my phone as Jacka$$ of the Year. I remember the same kind of electric current you're talking about... It's like they have radar...when they know we're settling into a better place, they pounce.
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
Lulu and De Von, what a team.
Yep, getting to see it is he on the phone, can have a faster effect than any emetic or laxative.
I loved a pal's phone name for her AH, it is CasterOil, as she reckons they both have the same effect on her bowels.
It won't be too long, and I bet you will be able to see he is calling, and it will not mean a darn to you....no nerves, nausea or worse, just plain...nothing.
Doing well, and leading the way.
God bless
Yep, getting to see it is he on the phone, can have a faster effect than any emetic or laxative.
I loved a pal's phone name for her AH, it is CasterOil, as she reckons they both have the same effect on her bowels.
It won't be too long, and I bet you will be able to see he is calling, and it will not mean a darn to you....no nerves, nausea or worse, just plain...nothing.
Doing well, and leading the way.
God bless
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 566
Thanks for the inspiration, Lulu! You're doing great.
I have to second what Jadmack said, when I ran into my ex a week ago I felt nothing like I "thought" I would feel based on other times I had run into her. If I felt anything, it was acceptance. None of the violent "castor oil" type responses I had expected...wow.
That's not to say I don't have my moments of missing my own dream for the relationship, but that's not the same thing as when I'm faced with the reality of it by running into her...and when I am, I feel...nothing.
DeVon, thanks for the laughs!!
I love you guys! So much gratitude for all of you today,
posie
I have to second what Jadmack said, when I ran into my ex a week ago I felt nothing like I "thought" I would feel based on other times I had run into her. If I felt anything, it was acceptance. None of the violent "castor oil" type responses I had expected...wow.
That's not to say I don't have my moments of missing my own dream for the relationship, but that's not the same thing as when I'm faced with the reality of it by running into her...and when I am, I feel...nothing.
DeVon, thanks for the laughs!!
I love you guys! So much gratitude for all of you today,
posie
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Reality, NJ
Posts: 853
Awww..youre gonna make me cry. I thought more about it last night and this was the last outstanding issue. I can block his email and phone now. The rest is up to the lawyers. I dont need to talk to him anymore. And it really shook me up and who needs that.
I swear it is radar. I was really coming to terms with everything and it was like smack! They really do have the radar.
I am assuming he got served and is shaking in his boots and trying to be good...like
"I sent the refund back. Maybe she wont go for alimony so she can go to school and better herself. Maybe she wont tell the judge about the fraudulant cookng of the books I was involved with at work since before we were married and I forgot to mention that until the FBI showed up. Maybe she wont tell him about the alcoholism and rehabs. Maybe she wont tell him how I got a girlfriend while we were married and took her on vacation before we even filed for divorce."
He is dead wrong. The judge wont care I know but he will hear it all and I hope the bum is so embarrassed he wants to hide under the table. I know I wont get alimony but there was no way I was going to make this easy on him so all he hadd to do was default and not pay a lawyer bill. The least he can do it pay for his legal bill.
I have a gut feeling miss girlfriend dumped him and he was trying to feel me out.
Ok done. No more room in my head for him. I got it all out here so I can move on with my day and block the things I needed to block so no more surprises and rocking my serenity..
Hugs
Lulu
I swear it is radar. I was really coming to terms with everything and it was like smack! They really do have the radar.
I am assuming he got served and is shaking in his boots and trying to be good...like
"I sent the refund back. Maybe she wont go for alimony so she can go to school and better herself. Maybe she wont tell the judge about the fraudulant cookng of the books I was involved with at work since before we were married and I forgot to mention that until the FBI showed up. Maybe she wont tell him about the alcoholism and rehabs. Maybe she wont tell him how I got a girlfriend while we were married and took her on vacation before we even filed for divorce."
He is dead wrong. The judge wont care I know but he will hear it all and I hope the bum is so embarrassed he wants to hide under the table. I know I wont get alimony but there was no way I was going to make this easy on him so all he hadd to do was default and not pay a lawyer bill. The least he can do it pay for his legal bill.
I have a gut feeling miss girlfriend dumped him and he was trying to feel me out.
Ok done. No more room in my head for him. I got it all out here so I can move on with my day and block the things I needed to block so no more surprises and rocking my serenity..
Hugs
Lulu
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