stayingstraight

Hey everyone. I woke up feeling almost more depressed and easily irritated than yesterday. This is my 3rd day of sobriety and I have a headache. Why is that? I feel weird. Like I don't want to go anywhere or see anyone. I also feel like no one understands what I'm going through. I want to just run away. Get in my car and drive somewhere like the beach and spend the night. I know that I can't escape myself. I have to deal with this. This time feels different than the other times I've tried to quit. I feel so angry. I'm mad at myself for not being stronger. I'm mad at my family for putting so much pressure on me and not being supportive. And for not really trying to stop me from drinking. But then I stop and think, "Stop trying to blame someone else". And again I am faced with another one of my short comings. When is this going to stop? I am on vacation from work for 2 weeks now. Maybe I should take a trip. I'm scared though because I don't know if I can handle it and recognize my triggers. That's another thing, everything is a trigger for me. Because I somehow managed to incorporate alcohol into the equation no matter what the occassion or activity. I'm not going to drink today. I thought about my life a little this morning and I wondered how I managed. I don't know how I ever managed to graduate college, not get at least 5 DUIs or more, lose my license to drive, my license to work, not hurt, kill or permanently mame or kill someone and somehow keep a job, a car, a house and my daughter. For the first time in my life I have to admit that my life has finally become unmanageable. I am powerless over alcohol. I am an alcoholic. Thanks for listening...I'm not going to drink today.

Anna

Day 3 is great, but still really early in recovery.

Your body is still adjusting to life without alcohol and it takes a while to get used to it.

I also felt a lot of anger when I stopped drinking. I was furious with myself for allowing it to happen, and I blamed myself for everything. I was frustrated with my family too. This is when the hard work starts because I had to find a way to learn to live with myself and not use alcohol.

You can do this!

stayingstraight

Anna, I think living with myself is going to be the hardest thing. I feel like I don't really know me. I've been hiding from myself through the use of alcohol. It's like I've been running for a long time and I can't run anymore. I guess that's what it means when an alcoholic says they are tired. I want to know me and I want to be okay to be me. I want to feel good about myself again. I know this will take time and a lot of effort. I've felt like I can hardly move the last three days. I got the things done that I had to do but I felt out of place. I am still very emotional. I cry at the drop of a hat. Haven't felt this vulnerable in a long time. Maybe I need to feel this way. Maybe I've always felt this way and the alcohol numbed me. Again, thanks for listening. Alcoholism is a selfish disease. All I do is talk about my feelings and woe is me for what I've done to myself. I don't like it. I want to live again.

artsoul

Hi staying - I'm glad you're hanging in there. I had to really take it easy the first week, even longer..... Whatever you have to do to stay sober. Just remember that all of these issues will take a while to sort out, so don't get ahead of yourself.

One Day At A Time, Easy Does It, Keep It Simple, Don't Sweat the Small Stuff........

....and find the positives of sobriety to focus on - there's a ton of them!!:ghug3

coming_clean

im on day 3 too...keep on going!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dee74

Hi staying straight

Like Anna said, day 3 is very early in the process...your body and mind are still healing...it's natural to look back at stuff, and it's understandable to feel overwhelmed, and it's instinctive to want to leap ahead and start fixing everything NOW.....

but all you really have to do right now is stay sober....believe me, that's enough to be dealing with.

Take it a day at a time. Give yourself a chance to recoup mentally and physically and then you can start sorting out stuff.

In the meantime, keep posting here - you'll find a lot of support, understanding and encouragement

D

stayingstraight

Hi everyone. Just got back from a sober friend's house. The kids visited and me and her talked. My head was still kinda out of it. I didn't get a lot of sleep last night. Too much on the brain. Hopefully I'll sleep better tonight. I'm trying not to put too much on my plate right now. I think I need to listen to some of you and take it one day at a time and just focus on staying sober. That's my full time job right now. I did not drink today and I will not drink tonight. The third day is when I'm usually ready to start up again.

artsoul

Sounds like you're doing exactly the right thing. Just keep putting your sobriety first for now. You can "add" things into your life as you feel better, more rested, etc.... Be patient with the process - it really does get better.