Stang

After 54 days I drank beer last night. I got drunk! I am totally disgusted with myself and needed to vent. Back to square 1! Why didn't I leave the beer on the shelf!

Anna

Well, that's a good question!

What made you decide to drink last night. You can learn from this experience and move forward with your recovery.

ANGELINA243

Is there a reason why there was beer in your house to begin with? Does someone else in your home drink?

Stang

IT wasn't at my house. I stopped by the store and bought it. I hadn't eaten all day and I'm sure that gave me the craving. I knew I was screwing up but I just blocked it out of my mind.
The hangover isn't bad, and I just ate hopefully by catching it early, not going on a bender I won't go through withdrawal again. I have been slack on the step work. I have a 10:00 AA meeting tonight. I need to discuss it with other alkies.

least

Forgive yourself, learn from it, and start moving forward again. You can do it again, better and longer.

Pinkcuda

Sounds as good as anything else I've heard!

artsoul

Been there alot of times. It's just one more bit of evidence to add to the "I'm powerless" folder. It's not like you wasted 54 days, though, so just remember that. Enjoy your meeting tonight!

Kerbcrawler

Hey Stang, i had big cravings today, im on day 55, it could of bin me!! but after goin through all this, theres no way im sellin out cheaply..get back on track..learn from this,
wish you well.

Dee74

I'm sorry Stang, but I'm glad you're back on the right track and you're looking back at where you went wrong. I also agree your sober time is never wasted, unless we choose to waste it.

I spent a lot of years not caring when I was drinking - I think apathy and complacency are two of our worst enemies.

If we're not worth fighting for, who is?

D

TwelveSteps

Seriously, though, AA teaches us to look out for when we are HALT:
Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired

Those are when the cravings can really kick in. Take the extra time to make sure you're eating well right now!

Oh and welcome back!

GG

stayingstraight

I just joined this site. Today is my first day back in sobriety. I went on a 2 day binge. Feel like crap and feel guilty. I actually went 3 months without drinking earlier this year. That was the longest I've ever gone since I was 14. Of course after the novelty of being sober wore off, I thought I could handle just drinking one or two drinks. Wrong. I did okay for a little while and then I just fell right back into my old pattern. I have to accept the fact that I can't drink. Not even one. I have to be stronger. I need to recognize my triggers. I'm hoping to find some support on this site by people who understand what I'm going through and know the struggle. Nice to meet you.

BabsyGirl

Staying straight,
Welcome and I'm also a newcomer. I read both the alcohol and substance abuse posts. I am addicted to opiates. I think addiction is addiction, right? I wish you the best and coming here is a good sign...also going to a meeting is the smart thing to do.

artsoul

welcome, staying straight! I hope you start a thread for yourself so we can get to know you and your story. This is a great place to come for support.

stayingstraight

Hey Artsoul. I need to read the instructions on how to start a thread. This is the first forum I've ever been in. I've read some of the posts from other members and I was surprised at how I related. I'm not alone. I should start going to meetings. I've never done that either. Not regularly anyway. And I didn't take it serious because I wasn't ready. I'm having a hard time understanding why I keep messing up when it's something I don't really want to do. I don't even like the taste of alcohol. It's the feeling it gives me that I like. But when I was sober for that 3 months, I felt great. My mind was clicking right. I could think faster. After 3 days I start to feel good again. But that's around the time I'm ready for a drink. Man, I just don't want to feel like I need a drink. I wish there was some kind of cure for this. Like an antibiotic or something that you take and it goes away. I know addiction is not that easy. If it was there wouldn't be any addicts. Sometimes I think I'm not that bad because it's alcohol. I fool myself because it's legal. You can buy it at any corner store or restaurant. The reality is that it's no different from anything else. It just happens to be my drug of choice. Never in my life, even when I was a teenager, did I think I would be addicted to anything. I hate that I am. I don't like being dependent. It feels like a ball and chain. I want to be normal. I want to be able to not think about alcohol. I guess I'm ranting. I'm open to suggestions. Obviously my way isn't working. Thanks for listening.

stayingstraight

HALT. I like that. These are the main reasons besides feeling anxious that I drink. This was enlightening to me. When I eat I don't want to drink. I did gain like 7 lb. when I was sober for those 3 months. I didn't mind the weight gain because I felt like it was worth it to stay sober. Plus I actually started eatting desert! When I drank I didn't crave sweets. In a way I felt that I was replacing my alcohol addiction for food addiction. So now I am just going to have to join a gym. Besides, if I'm not drinking I'll have the time.

artsoul

Hi SS - to start a new thread, all you have to do is click on Newcomers In Recovery and then you will see at the top left (above the sticky posts) a button that says "New Thread." Just click on that, give it a title, and post away!

I think it's helpful to do this because we can go back and read through our own posts that describe the first days of getting sober. Also, by giving a kind of introduction to yourself, others can get to know you better.

Good luck!:day6

ryanmar

This explains me and my (former)mindset to a t. I went an entire year without drinking but then I thought, "Well, maybe I can be a social drink or just have a drink from time to time". I've had to find out the hard way that that just is not the case for me.

ryanmar

Oh and you pretty much nailed it about the "novelty" of being sober wearing off. I had never thought of it that way but that's EXACTLY how I felt. Here I was doing something I hadn't done and being someone I hadn't been in years by being sober. It was like this new thing but yeah that newness wore off.

LovesToTravel

I think you know the answer to this! Read up on HALT..very informative.

Freeport

So easy to slip if we're not diligent. My family in the middle of a big move. Had people over to help, and my wife bought a 12-pack (she doesn't think twice about it) for the people helping. Hot day, working hard, ice-cold brews. Had some pretty serious momentary temptations, even had to stop and pause once and tell myself "be careful, don't go there." Funny how we never know when those situations will erupt. Always think ahead and have a plan.