Contact #2
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 132
I woke up this AM to a long message on Facebook. Here are some highlights:
I am screwed up...bad and need help
I have a problem that will only be solved by long stay @ rehab
Are you done with me?
I told you I was not in love with you. I am. I just dont know how to process it.
I am in therapy now. Only been twice but it has helped a little.
My kids are crushed over you being gone and I explained to them it was me, not you
I am an idiot with an addiction. Its not an excuse. just the truth.
I know you love me and I dont deserve it. You deserve to be happy. I want you to be.
I want things to work for us, but I know I have a problem to kick before that happens.
I love you. You are my heart. I dont show it, say it, but you are.
My parents are disappointed in me. Told me you are the best thing for me.
Mom wants me to go into rehab-said she would pay
Therapist told me that I was codependent
To me, this is all chatter. Go get your help, stay clean, then MAYBE we will talk. (i didnt reply, but that is what I thought!)
I am screwed up...bad and need help
I have a problem that will only be solved by long stay @ rehab
Are you done with me?
I told you I was not in love with you. I am. I just dont know how to process it.
I am in therapy now. Only been twice but it has helped a little.
My kids are crushed over you being gone and I explained to them it was me, not you
I am an idiot with an addiction. Its not an excuse. just the truth.
I know you love me and I dont deserve it. You deserve to be happy. I want you to be.
I want things to work for us, but I know I have a problem to kick before that happens.
I love you. You are my heart. I dont show it, say it, but you are.
My parents are disappointed in me. Told me you are the best thing for me.
Mom wants me to go into rehab-said she would pay
Therapist told me that I was codependent
To me, this is all chatter. Go get your help, stay clean, then MAYBE we will talk. (i didnt reply, but that is what I thought!)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 132
Followup:
I received a text message from him stating he had went back and saw what he had sent me and said "sorry, drunk typing gets me into trouble".
Now, I have been good at the NC thing, but I couldnt hold back. I replied "why would you say those things if you didn t mean it". He replied "sorry". I said "i am done with you and your games". He said "I am very happy with my life right now, I am just not ready to settle down. I was hoping you and I could go do some things together but if thats to hard for you, I understand". He then followed up with "my family is going out tonight, you are welcome to come along if you would like too".
Wow. Thats all that came to mind. Wow.
I didnt reply back but I can tell you one thing, that was confirmation for me that this man needs to exit my life. How manipulating, arrogant and cocky.
I am actually sitting here trying to understand what the hell I ever saw in this man.
I received a text message from him stating he had went back and saw what he had sent me and said "sorry, drunk typing gets me into trouble".
Now, I have been good at the NC thing, but I couldnt hold back. I replied "why would you say those things if you didn t mean it". He replied "sorry". I said "i am done with you and your games". He said "I am very happy with my life right now, I am just not ready to settle down. I was hoping you and I could go do some things together but if thats to hard for you, I understand". He then followed up with "my family is going out tonight, you are welcome to come along if you would like too".
Wow. Thats all that came to mind. Wow.
I didnt reply back but I can tell you one thing, that was confirmation for me that this man needs to exit my life. How manipulating, arrogant and cocky.
I am actually sitting here trying to understand what the hell I ever saw in this man.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: minneapolis, mn
Posts: 2,762
so glad for the clarity!
i was feelin for ya when i last read on this thread. i was gonna write that i know you must have been spinning with that email. but i had to go.
how valuable is just sitting and not reacting?! good for you, spin
i was feelin for ya when i last read on this thread. i was gonna write that i know you must have been spinning with that email. but i had to go.
how valuable is just sitting and not reacting?! good for you, spin
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 132
ok guys...i just exploded. I talked to a friend of mine who told me that she saw him out on a date thursday night....Friday night i am getting texts from him begging to see me, asking me to go to family funtions. I am livid. I texted him and told him that I knew he went on a date and why he was contacting me. I also told him that this dance was over....I was done and to not contact me again.
This was his reply:
Yes, i went on a date. I am single and i am allowed to. I thought you and i could be friends and hang out but i guess not. I dont need this drama in my life so i wont be contacting you again. i will erase you from my phone.
I replied:
You are free to do what ever you want. However, contacting me, pleading with me to come see you, wanting me to go to family functions is wrong. You are playing games and i am tired of it. I left you alone. you contacted me.
His reply:
I am done with you. you will never hear from me again.
He then said: I dont remember saying those things....i was drunk. Since when do you listen to my drunk ass anyway?
Now, I know I should have taken my own advice and not responded. But I felt so insulted. I wanted him to know that I knew. And as always, he put his spin on it to make me sound crazy. I dont feel I was wrong. I guess the answer to everything is "I dont remember" and its all supposed to go away? NOt to me.
Just needed to vent......God I am so mad right now.
This was his reply:
Yes, i went on a date. I am single and i am allowed to. I thought you and i could be friends and hang out but i guess not. I dont need this drama in my life so i wont be contacting you again. i will erase you from my phone.
I replied:
You are free to do what ever you want. However, contacting me, pleading with me to come see you, wanting me to go to family functions is wrong. You are playing games and i am tired of it. I left you alone. you contacted me.
His reply:
I am done with you. you will never hear from me again.
He then said: I dont remember saying those things....i was drunk. Since when do you listen to my drunk ass anyway?
Now, I know I should have taken my own advice and not responded. But I felt so insulted. I wanted him to know that I knew. And as always, he put his spin on it to make me sound crazy. I dont feel I was wrong. I guess the answer to everything is "I dont remember" and its all supposed to go away? NOt to me.
Just needed to vent......God I am so mad right now.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 132
yea, wow is right.
Was I wrong? I needed to confront him. Yes, we are not together, but those actions are unacceptable to me. Yes he is free to do what he wants, but why pull me in on it?
I am soooo pissed right now. At him and at me!
Was I wrong? I needed to confront him. Yes, we are not together, but those actions are unacceptable to me. Yes he is free to do what he wants, but why pull me in on it?
I am soooo pissed right now. At him and at me!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 689
I think ultimately it's the anger that you feel at yourself that keeps you fuming.... at least when I reflect on why I was angry about things, ultimately I was so angry at myself.
I don't think you were wrong. There is not a right or wrong here about how you handled it, IMO.
You were in NC, doing what you needed to do. And he kept on and on. Most people would have just exploded. You had every right to voice what you needed or wanted to voice.
There is no point in looking back and thinking that maybe you should have done this or that another way. It's done. And you took your power back. Now you can go NC again, not respond, not read what he writes, block him.... and start over. There is nothing wrong with starting over.
As for why he pulled it on you..... because he's a manipulative, lying, self centered *****. But that's just my diagnosis
I don't think you were wrong. There is not a right or wrong here about how you handled it, IMO.
You were in NC, doing what you needed to do. And he kept on and on. Most people would have just exploded. You had every right to voice what you needed or wanted to voice.
There is no point in looking back and thinking that maybe you should have done this or that another way. It's done. And you took your power back. Now you can go NC again, not respond, not read what he writes, block him.... and start over. There is nothing wrong with starting over.
As for why he pulled it on you..... because he's a manipulative, lying, self centered *****. But that's just my diagnosis
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 132
Thanks Kittyboo. I am very angry right now. And yes, alot of it is towards me. I was doing so good!
I apparently pressed a button with him when i confronted him. He said he was done and would not contact me again. Maybe he wont. My friend told me "i bet you hear from him by the weekend". I am going to have to block him-i refuse to let him do this to me again.
I apparently pressed a button with him when i confronted him. He said he was done and would not contact me again. Maybe he wont. My friend told me "i bet you hear from him by the weekend". I am going to have to block him-i refuse to let him do this to me again.
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