ajangels2

I feel like my life is becoming unmanageable again. Now this could just be the way I've been feeling lately, but I don't thing so. It appears that a great deal in my life is upside down. I've gone through so many challenges in such a short time. I know alot of people are struggling these days, but there isn't a place right now in my life that feels secure.

Recently I went through some threats of losing my job. My boss was basically being a hard a$$ and still is. I was able to get to the bottom of what was going on by going to the HR Director. Apparently, my boss never cleared my position to be cut, she just hoped I'd get another position maybe and leave quietly. When that did not happen, I guess I exposed what she was doing. At least for today, I have a job and I'm not going to lose it. Of course there is the fall out from exposing her. This was not my intention I was just taking care of my needs and my family's needs.

Financially things are out of control. My AH has not been paid yet for the work he has been doing since April. So, we have more going out than coming in. This week everything has come to a head and I'm just asking God for a miracle that my AH gets a decent size check today so we can pay our bills. Now, I don't know if this unmanageable part of our lives is due to the disease, I can't really blame this on my AH, it's probably both of us. I have a hard time spacing out our money, it's overwhelming the decisions to make on who to pay first. I need some work in this area.

So, of course there is home life and health; which hasn't been so great either. I won't get into it but it could use some work too.

I have assets but lately they have been difficult to find. I think this weekend I'm going to do a step 4 inventory on assets. I have to remind myself that it's not just my AH's disease that affects me, it's my own, and lately my stuff has been out of control. So, I need some time to work on my recovery skills and remind myself that I can only do so much in a day.

Thanks for listening.
AJ

Jenny1232

I wish I could offer you some helpful advice, or have anything insightful to say. I just wanted to say I'm sorry for your struggles. I know how frustrating and overwhelming financial problems make things.

One thing that might help, depending on your bank (if you don't already do this) is setting up the savings account linked to checking. Wachovia offers the $1 transfer to savings for every card purchase. Many banks do this! Just a suggestion!

Hope things turn around for you

cinderellawkids

DOnt be hard on yourself, this is a tough time...Financially you dont make enough to break even adn already cut the not so important things, and what you had no choice to cut.
You even worked out a summer alternative for your older two boys.
Be kind to yourself, sometimes we do all we can under the circumstances, and sadly over 80% are completely out of your control. Hang in there, focus on important things do your step work and each day, keep getting up, keep going forward.
Thats all any of us can do. And remember no decisions on any of it have to be made this weekend, just keep going and remember to breathe

HUGS

ajangels2

Thanks Jenny and Cindi. I like that Wachovia set up to savings, I'm going to look into that one.

I'm trying not to be hard on myself, but I guess I feel like I should be doing better at this stuff by now. It's been a long time since I started recovery and I feel like things have taken a step backwards. Maybe that is just my perception. I will try and be more kind to myself.

Freedom1990

We are a work in progress, dear! My sponsor really gets on me when I start that "I should be XYZ by now" stuff.

As Anvil said, more will be revealed. When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.

I've taken backward steps many times in my recovery. It's okay to be human and therefore imperfect, okay?

:ghug3 :ghug3