gmc

I'm heartbroken.

I kicked him out 3 wks ago because there was a possibility of it and I have been calm and peaceful since he left - well, as calm and peaceful as a separated person can be anyways! I agreed to go to counseling as I had no proof and because my ten-year old is devastated he is not here in the house. Well, today, I got my proof. He admitted it after he could not hide it anymore - meaning, I threw my proof in his face.

Here is what I know:

1) His being drunk is no excuse.
2) I did nothing to deserve this or what he's put me through the last two - three years.
3) I gotta continue my counseling and al-anon to ensure life stays steady for my little girl.
4) My little girl can use counseling, too.
5) I will be okay. It sucks but there is no changing the reality that he cheated on me and it is over.

I had a good sobbing-spell that lasted all of two minutes. All I keep thinking is, "Stay strong, stay strong, stay strong. Cry at some later date".

My aunt says I need to turn our "marriage counseling" into "how are we going to make sure our daughter is alright through this" counseling. I have a hard time picturing even showing up.

gmc

lulu1974

I am so sorry for your pain. You dont deserve this. Many of us, me included, have been in your position. Take a deep breath and give it some time and really think what you want. I cant understand about the children part as I dont have any but you will get wonderful guidance here. Do something good for you right now,.,ice cream, cake, manicure, get your hair done. Take care of you my friend..no one else will.
Hugs and stay strong,
Lulu

dollydo

I imagine that the truth is somewhat a relief, I know that when I found out the real truth about my ex, I said "Yes" I am not crazy!

And I agree, your daughter comes first, she will be struggling for awhile,however, children are very resiliant.

Don't forget to take care of you.

We are here for you,

Dolly

Summerpeach

Well what a surpise, an addict who uses their addiction as an excuse to be an a&&hole!
Truly sorry for your pain. I've been in your shoes.

The lies these sick souls weave are the pure definition of insane.

When my ex used to run out with other women, he used the excuse that it was because he drank. Yeah, ok, tell me another good one.
And I went out and robbed a bank cause I was in menopause

spinwc

As painful as it is, you will soon feel some relief too as Dollly said. No more questions, no more wondering. Time to look to the future!

Take care of you and that precious child-you both have been through alot. Time to shift the focus and live a A free life!

Hammerhead

To think.... I thought I was the only one that robbed banks during menopause

My ex used to tell me it was ok for him to have girl friends.... I said sure it is... just not the ones that call you at 3 am to ask you if you'll scratch their itch.

Yuck!

gmc

Thanks for the responses, guys. Yes, it is such a relief to have it out in the open and not be wondering if I was going crazy!! I have pretty much been biding my time thinking at some point the truth would come out. Actually, I think it prepared me for the instant I found out the truth in. There was no immediate shock.

I appreciated the 'menopause - robbing bank' jokes. It's nice to have some levity in the situation! Now, let's just hope I don't find out he robbed a bank and forgot from the 'blackout' too. I think he would deny it unless I had the video of it, actually. lol. See? I can still grin despite all this!

My daughter is away at summer camp - I am so thankful for it. It made it so much easier that she was not here today. At least, I have a few more days to process this all before I pick her up. Maybe I will even cry again at some point. Who knows, one would think my body sees a perfect sobbing-opportunity and would take advantage though.

Thanks again, guys. The fact that I have been coming on every day and reading all the posts has been an immense help today. Thanks for being here.

gmc

Paintbaby

Maaaan, imagine being THAT guy. The guy who cheats on his partner, because he is so damned miserable with his life that he is now out there, using other women, pissing it up, sharing the misery, just trying to keep the party going. The party doesn't last forever, does it? What a sad, desperate, selfish act---and a sad, futile attempt to keep himself from the truth of, well, himself. I would HATE to be that guy.

Cheating is always about the cheater. His dirt didn't get on you--that is ALL his to own.

gmc

Thank you PaintBaby. I wrote everything you posted into my journal as a reminder. I know that's the truth and I will have to keep reminding myself of it!

Paintbaby

Happy to help! That is what we are here for.

coffeedrinker

Just letting you know I'm here with the others to support you, gmc

transformyself

His loss. And you're clearly on your way to being a freaking superhero. You're sane, have your priorities straight and are way stronger than he is.

I'm sorry you'll have to walk through the pain for awhile, but there is a stage of euphoria that comes pretty soon. When I left my cheating, alcoholic husband, I felt like a little kid at Christmas for a good month. Freedom Baby, you've earned it!

Learn2Live

I'm sorry gmc for any pain you are feeling and hope that you are able to maintain your daily life and responsibilities. A practical reminder: Please remember that it is YOUR responsibility to protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases. HE is not going to do so. So, please do not have sex with this person without a condom. Also, you may want to get yourself screened given his dishonesty and disgusting behavior. Most U.S. counties have a free or low-cost STD clinic.

PieRat

Sorry to hear that you and your daugther are going thru this. I think you are miles ahead of where people usually are when dealing with this with your attitude, and resolve. Looks like you are going to be a good role model to your daugther on how to handle the not so pretty side of life!

nodaybut2day

Yes, he cheated on you.

No, you were *never* crazy.

Yes, he's a pathetic moron.

AND...

Yes, you're so strong and remarkably clear-headed.

Yes, it's still ok to bawl sometimes.

Yes, your daughter will be ok and will learn real strength from you.

Yes, we love and support you.

gmc

Wow. I am sooo devastated this morning. I hurt.

I know it's right now and not forever, but damn I hurt.

lulu1974

Get it our..Tell us how you feel. Even if you have said it all before. I at least am here to listen. Just let the garbage out of YOU..
Hugs
Lulu

freefalling

(((((gmc))))

keep on sharing with people who care - and we do care

spinwc

Type away....let it out. Just keep typing and venting. People here have been there/are there and now your pain.

FormerDoormat

I don't think it's fair to refer to active addicts as pathetic morons. They are humans in great pain. If you've ever interacted with an end-stage alcoholic, you may come to believe that addiction is a horrific disease and not everyone has the emotional, physical, and spiritual strength to overcome it.

I am happy for you, GMC, as knowing the truth will set you free and allow you to embark on a happy, healthy life and perhaps one day, find a healthy partner who treats you with the utmost love, care, and respect that you so deserve. But I am saddened to see a formerly healthy person struggling to live with addiction.