Still Waters

Really.

Or it sounds like that anyway. From the court:

Counter complaint for absolute divorce (name) you are required to bring a witness to court with you to support your counter complaint for absolute divorce.

I'm divorcing in a state that doesn't have no fault divorce, and he filed claiming I deserted. I counter filed claiming constructive desertion (that he made it impossible to continue the marriage), and cruelty.

Short of physical violence where you have medical records, what kind of witness does one have? No one except my daughter lived in the house with us.

Fun stuff

PieRat

Oh boy!

Can you claim him as a witness, put him on the stand and rake him over the coals like a mean streak high profile lawyer?

Taking5

How old is your daughter? I'd use her if shes old enough.

Still Waters

haha - I wish.

Seeing as I get sick to my stomach even talking about all this, I don't think that will work.

Still Waters

14

queenteree

Pierat does have a point, put him on the stand as a witness and let him sink his own ship. You'd be surprised at how quickly that can happen, since A's usually always think they're in the right, they don't do anything wrong, and will point all the blame at you. Remember, logical people can "see" that, A's can't.

Still Waters

If I had an attorney, I'd do just that. But I don't.

PieRat

Still Waters here are some lines to try! These should work!

"Where were you on the night of August 25th at 9:00 P.M.?"

and

"If the glove does not fit, you must acquit!"

I think that is the only lines lawyers need to know!

Seren

Did you ever talk about what was going on to family or friends? They could be witness to that.

How about the real estate agent when he soiled himself during a house showing?

Has he ever been arrested for DUI or disorderly conduct? Police reports there.

Has he ever done anything destructive to the house for which you have receipts for repair?

Have you recorded any phone messages, kept e-mails or texts?

Just for starters........

Hugs! HG

Jazzman

In VA I had to provide a witness for my no fault divorce, (first marriage). All the judge wanted was a witness to stand up and swear under oath we had been living separate and apart for the past year. Any friend that knows you and your situation willing to burn a half day vacation in exchange for a nice lunch would do (not a McDonalds lunch, this is a big favor to ask).

onceuponatime2

Yea, I would think that things such as Dui's, job losses due to drinking or drugging, and public scenes where a neighbor may have witnessed his behavior are all good starts to find a witness to his behavior and addiction problems.

Still Waters

I have no family or friends in that state. I suppose I could ask a friend to fly there, but they would have no first hand experience about the case, only our emails and phone calls.

I did try to call the pro bono legal office today, and got voice mails.

Hydrogirl, I do have emails but I don't think those count.

I might call the therapist I used there, I wonder if he can or will act as a witness?

Still Waters

Yep. Haven't heard a word from them Anvil, and I've called and left messages several times plus spoken to someone once (who told me to call back to get a different person, where I got the voicemail).

Hey! Can I bring along an Al-anon group with me as my witness?

PieRat

I call shotgun! Wait is there shotgun on a bus?

Freedom1990

I think so. If there isn't, we can start a new bus tradition!

I'm calling rear guard on the bus!

Still Waters

This is just crazy. LOL.

You know, alcoholism and drug addiction so isolates everyone involved. It's truly tragic. I didn't discuss my drunken husband with my daughters teachers, or her friends parents, or the cable guy. I didn't sit and chat with my new neighbors about how he was always passed out in the chair with his privates exposed with kids in the house.

Ugh.

I'm going to try and call my therapist there, maybe I'll get some more ideas that way.

Thanks everyone, keep the engine running on that bus! :P

ItsmeAlice

Hey, Hey over here, pick me up, pick me up ****{waving}}}.

StillW, I would give that therapist a call and ask. What a great witness that would be. You may have to sign a waiver as to what the therapist can divulge given patient/doctor privacy issues, but a professional to testify as to your state of mind at the time I think would trump any of your STBX's ramblings.

A thought I had was to call anyone you know he might owe money to. Someone maybe not a friend/relative of yours but someone who could say he's a no-good bum would do. A bar owner he owes a tab to might do nicely.

But then I like courtroom dramas.

Alice

Kmber2010

SW.....here is my input:

What about an attorney consult? Usually for free or small fee.

How are you divorcing without attorneys? Does he have one?

Witness? You can always do power of attorney or proxy possibly.

Definitely don't get bummed out over this legal crappola. I am divorced and while we didn't have kidddos......the property distribution was a bit of a tangle.

I am just thinking here.....if he filed for divorce then why not leave it at that or is he seeking custody? Lets pray to the good Lord he isn't even going to go there.

Huggs and don't let this get to you. The internet has tons of useful info.

Thumper

If you think your daughter could handle being a witness, I'd ask her.

If you disclosed any of this to anyone - I'd ask them. Even if they didn't see it, you talked about it so that could be a witness to your state of mind/perception at the time and you aren't making this stuff up after the fact.

Contacting your therapist is a good idea.

Is there anyone here that you spoke to on the phone to have a 'real life' connection? I'm not even sure you posted here before you moved but if so, maybe that person could send a notarized letter. It would be something.

You can submit a *brief* statement that due to the fact that he 'xyz' you lived a very isolated life. There simply aren't eye witnesses. If the judge knows anything at all about alcoholism he'll believe it.

Just some ideas.

Still Waters

He has an attorney, yes. He filed for permanent alimony, legal fees, maintenance on the home and autos, etc. So, I was forced to counter file.

The kiddo isn't his, thank goodness.