NoHo

I'm curious as to how many people land on this site having only exhibited a tendency to over-drink in the company of others. I understand a relationship in which two people drink together unhealthily, but wonder how different that is from being alone, or if it's even worse. For me, I was not an "alone" drinker until the last couple of years. Absent a few over-the-top nights, no one would have thought I had a drinking problem before. Clearly, I had a problem just waiting to surface that came out in full force when I decided it was okay to stay home and knock back a six-pack plus.

least

I drank to get numb. And always (99%) at home alone. Easier for me at home, no driving home after drinking and not far to go when I passed out... I don't think drinking alone is a good sign, it sure wasn't for me...

KingsCross

I was a 99% alone drinker. I too only wanted to "leave" where ever I was mentally and used alcohol to do it. I never drank socially, or at a bar. Just hammered in my room.

I would guess it comes down to personality types. I'm introverted. Some drink to "loosen up". I would just feel more awkward. Perhaps extroverted people prefer bars and social drinking. I don't know. I just wanted to be left alone and drink.

Wow. That's sad!

sobermax

Hey Noho,

seems like there is every shade of boozer on this site - personally, I started out drinking socially and ended up doing it mostly alone. Lots of people say though that the amount / circumstances of drinking are far less significant that the effect that alcohol has on your life. It only took a few drinks to send me insane & into a blackout towards the end of it.

If you feel that life is becoming unmanageable and that you need support, that is the only opinion that matters.

MelindaFlowers

Hi Noho,
Great question. I drank alone every night. I know that's one of the normal questions on questionnaires regarding alcoholism. It was a problem for me because I was binge drinking alone, every night.

NoHo

I think that's right - just noting that it seems that the problematic nature of the drinking of posters here seems revealed more often when there is a history of drinking alone. I don't think there's safety in drinking anywhere, anytime or in any circumstance once the problem is realized.

Bazel

9 times out of 10 I was alone as well. In fact, I rarely drank in public. If we had to go to dinner with my family for example, never with the exception of once did I get drunk in front of them. It was easier to hide my disease if I just did it all by myself. Unfortunately the only ones subjected to my problem were my children (ouch) and my husband. Although, it was because of my 14 year old I decided enough was enough. It was easy to get away with in a sense when they were younger. While, what happened isn't really that horrible, it did make me feel like a complete loser...I woke up feeling soo sooo bad, that I couldn't do it anymore. Anyways, way off topic. Yes, definitely an alone drinker.....sadly enough.

littlefish

Hmmm: well, I haven't really noticed there is one concesus or another. If you look at the British or the Oz drinkers, it is very much the pub culture where you go out to get a pint. Lots of people have recently mentioned missing watching the world cup in the company of people in a bar. Nep, haven't really seen the problematics related to solitary drinking so much as drinking, period.

NEOMARXIST

I would drink to get wasted whether with others or alone. I didn't care as long as I was getting wasted. Easier to drink alone and less hassle.

If I was drinking with others company then I would always finish by drinking alone. I would look forward to my drink and drugs back at home whils't I was walking home. I wouldn't mind leaving the pub as I would be excited about feeling the buzz of nailing more booze when I got in. If I didn't have any booze back at home then I would be really depressed and wouldn't want to leave. Ordering loads of drinks at last orders in a mad scramble at the bar.

I know what set me apart from all of my peers both at University and in School and work and my best mates was my love of drinking to oblivion all alone. I did this right from the offset and loved it. I never met anybody else who did this totally alone like me. I used to go out a lot too but over the last couple of years my drinking became very much isolated and alone as I couldn;t really find anybody to really relate to with my levels of drinking and also the people I would hang around with I really didn't like much apart from them being wasters.

Toronto68

NoHo, I am not one to say 100% that someone drinking alone has a problem, but I WAS that type, primarily; that's how my alcoholism played out after I was done with the social stuff. I have no idea whether it is more often the lone drinker vs the partygoer that have the greater numbers, when it comes to being an alcoholic. I can remember a man who would wheel his bicycle into one of my stomping grounds and sit and have his draft until he passed out on the bar every time he was there. Not word one to anyone around him. Just kicked out when he would pass out. I imagine he must have been so desperate to have some kind of interaction, some presence of other human beings around him, perhaps after experiencing years of loner drinking, that he converted to this kind of drunk-ing. If I am right about that guess, it upsets me to think that was the best he could do.

endlesspatience

I think Noho's comment at the start of the post is interesting:

For me, I was not an "alone" drinker until the last couple of years.

I have heard many people in AA say that although they started drinking socially, as their problem progressed they began to drink alone. The transition can be a slow one. A drink before a partner comes home, or a quick one after the kids have gone to bed. Then it turns it long, lonely drinking sessions which are characteristic of alcoholism.

For me in recovery, the battle has not been to stay away from the bar or the barbeque, much as used to enjoy such social environments. It's been about resisting the voice which calls me to buy booze to consume on my own, in secret.

I didn't do that day, thanks to the help of God and the support of the fellowship of AA.

ConfusedNC

I'm right there with you. Drank with people on occassion, realized I wasn't good with people, so I drank alot more alone. Glad that's behind me.

Tomsk

In the beginning I drank and used with others. Then gradually as I ever drove my friends away from me or just stayed in my life revolved around the bottle as my only friend.

Now thanks to AA I have a world wide network of friends who I look out for and they look out for me unconditionally. Alchololism and addiction were the worst part of my life. Recovery is becoming the best!

loveon2legs

Seems my story is very similar...started out as the party girl...fun..fun...fun.....then gradually it turned into me drinking bottles of wine alone...listening to music..really sad when I look back at it....

spikeman

I always drank alone. I would go to the pub, drink 5 or 6 pints of stong beer, 5%+ alcohol, not speaking to anyone, drive home (!!!) and then continue to drink alone more stong beer or wine (or both) for a further 8 hours or so until I passed out.

Kmber2010

I started by drinking with others socially......all of this changed when I went through a very difficult time and I was self-loathing. I then began to drink each day, at home to cope.

I knew I had a problem for years before I came to SR. I came to SR after I had quit to help me stay sober and to have a place with similar people who understood alcoholism and the wealth of experience and info has been tremendous in helping me learn about alcoholism.

Thx for the share. Good post!

Wilde10

I have had a bad period, the worst, several years ago when I did drink mostly alone... and then looked for help, stop drinking but moved country, brainwashed myself into 'I can control this' and got back to drinking.

However, I have drunk socially a lot too. It seems to me that in my professional millieu there are many other heavy drinkers and this is normal. I have noticed that some of my colleagues clearly have the shakes despite being so young. And now I mainly drink with my husband.

But I would say drinking alone is the first big revelation of the problem. When you stop looking for excuses to drink socially and just drink by yourself. This was the biggest barrier I have ever jumped on my road to alcoholism. And now I drink with my husband mostly (and we hosts dinners for people 2 or 3 times a week), but try to get 'extra' when he is not looking (pathetic, pathetic.)

sobermax

Hey Wilde, thanks for your post.

I thought that everyone in my industry drank a lot too (not saying it isn't true in your case) but when I look back, it was because I was always in the bar and never saw beyond the door!

Wilde10

Sobermax, it is really a fact that many of my colleagues drink a lot...

I was thinking my mum lives alone and she drinks almost every day a very small glass of wine at lunch time. A bottle lasts almost two weeks. She refuses to buy small bottles (they are more expensive) so by the end that wine tastes terrible. I know other people who enjoy a glass alone from time to time. My dad would only drink in 'special occassions' but about twice a year (at most) he would serve himself a whisky at home.

So I guess the danger is no revealed by 'drinking alone' but 'drinking alone to get drunk'. It is culturally accepted that we may get drunk socially - it is when you are getting drunk by yourself on purpose when you know you have lost it.

TwelveSteps

I second everything Endlessblame said.

I mostly drank alone due to concerns about others' judgment and my getting home OK. Funny that as a result, almost everyone in my life has been shocked that I've joined AA, because they never saw me have more than 3 beers.

GG