Can an Elementary School Teacher go to AA?
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Can an Elementary School Teacher go to AA?
Hi Everyone,
Can an elementary school teacher go to Alcoholics Anonymous? Or more specifically, someone who is preparing for their student teaching, just starting out? Is it safe, rational, or wise to open up about their alcohol problem publicly? I guess the question is not 'can,' it is 'should.'
I understand that there is a form of anonymity in AA but through my own experience, the occasional parent can be judgmental, gossipy, and troublesome career-wise for any teacher they have any sort of 'problem' with. If they have it out for a teacher there is almost no limit to their wrath. The school district often (always) takes the side of the parent/student. I value and respect all opinions and experiences on this site.
If a teacher is "powerless over alcohol," how in the world could they teach and be responsible for 30 students? (Preemptive worries).
I have not attended AA and I'm not sure if I need to. I am doing well in my early sobriety with this site. I am just asking in case I feel the need to attend meetings of some sort.
I look forward to hearing your responses...
Can an elementary school teacher go to Alcoholics Anonymous? Or more specifically, someone who is preparing for their student teaching, just starting out? Is it safe, rational, or wise to open up about their alcohol problem publicly? I guess the question is not 'can,' it is 'should.'
I understand that there is a form of anonymity in AA but through my own experience, the occasional parent can be judgmental, gossipy, and troublesome career-wise for any teacher they have any sort of 'problem' with. If they have it out for a teacher there is almost no limit to their wrath. The school district often (always) takes the side of the parent/student. I value and respect all opinions and experiences on this site.
If a teacher is "powerless over alcohol," how in the world could they teach and be responsible for 30 students? (Preemptive worries).
I have not attended AA and I'm not sure if I need to. I am doing well in my early sobriety with this site. I am just asking in case I feel the need to attend meetings of some sort.
I look forward to hearing your responses...
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Miami Florida
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Hello Melinda.My wife is a teacher at a Catholic school. Several years ago a fellow teacher confided to her that she was having problems with alcohol and had started attending AA.
Of course my wife kept this confidential.The friend continued at AA for many years and eventually left the school when she moved to another state.
No problems ever occurred with the school employers,the local Archdiocese.
Of course all situations are different.I certainly understand your feelings of having to use caution.
Of course my wife kept this confidential.The friend continued at AA for many years and eventually left the school when she moved to another state.
No problems ever occurred with the school employers,the local Archdiocese.
Of course all situations are different.I certainly understand your feelings of having to use caution.
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Join Date: Oct 2008
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Tough one. I am in a high profile job in a small town. I attend meetings around but not right in town. Doesn't matter as I run into people fairly often. Hasn't been a problem. There is a young woman in a meeting I go to, she teaches right up the street from the meeting... Doctors, lawyers, nurses, realtors, stoke brokers all attend meetings I go to. Carpenters, mechanics, salesmen... We all enjoy the same status... And value our anonymity....
Better a church basement than a liquor store or bar.
Mark
Better a church basement than a liquor store or bar.
Mark
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Originally Posted by Mark75 
Tough one. I am in a high profile job in a small town. I attend meetings around but not right in town. Doesn't matter as I run into people fairly often. Hasn't been a problem. There is a young woman in a meeting I go to, she teaches right up the street from the meeting... Doctors, lawyers, nurses, realtors, stoke brokers all attend meetings I go to. Carpenters, mechanics, salesmen... We all enjoy the same status... And value our anonymity....
Better a church basement than a liquor store or bar.
Mark
Better a church basement than a liquor store or bar.
Mark
Maybe I'll add my next question to this response:
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Whistler, British Columbia
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Hey Melinda
I am not sure how other parents would feel but this is how I would feel and I have 4 little ones.
If a teacher had a problem with drinking and was looking to get that out of their life then this person is learning and trying to be a better person. I can not think of a better teacher for my own kids, one who is also capable of learning and growing as a person for the greater good.
I would be more concerned with a teacher who had a drinking problem and did not seek help and maybe even came to work drunk. And I am sure it happens all around the world every day. We have seen much worse in the media.
If one of my kids teachers did confide in me I would return that level of honesty with a big hug and two thumbs up
I would also guess that out of a class of 30 some of these kids probably have parents that have drinking problems.
But you are right in that some people are very judgmental so I would be very cautious on who I told if anyone about my recovery and maybe see an AA meeting outside of the area they live like you mentioned above.
Cheers!
I am not sure how other parents would feel but this is how I would feel and I have 4 little ones.
If a teacher had a problem with drinking and was looking to get that out of their life then this person is learning and trying to be a better person. I can not think of a better teacher for my own kids, one who is also capable of learning and growing as a person for the greater good.
I would be more concerned with a teacher who had a drinking problem and did not seek help and maybe even came to work drunk. And I am sure it happens all around the world every day. We have seen much worse in the media.
If one of my kids teachers did confide in me I would return that level of honesty with a big hug and two thumbs up
I would also guess that out of a class of 30 some of these kids probably have parents that have drinking problems.
But you are right in that some people are very judgmental so I would be very cautious on who I told if anyone about my recovery and maybe see an AA meeting outside of the area they live like you mentioned above.
Cheers!
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I wanted to add to my original post/question:
I am newly sober but have not attended AA. I do not feel that I am "powerless over alcohol." If I was powerless than I would be drunk right now. I am not. I am not powerless but I have abused the hell out of it for the past few years.
Happily sober tonight and looking forward to my career sober.
I am newly sober but have not attended AA. I do not feel that I am "powerless over alcohol." If I was powerless than I would be drunk right now. I am not. I am not powerless but I have abused the hell out of it for the past few years.
Happily sober tonight and looking forward to my career sober.
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In my home group there are 2 teachers, a cop, a doctor, and a Methodist preacher, amongst others. No anonymity issues have ever come up to my knowledge.
Santa Barbara is not a small redneck town. You should be fine going to AA there. Also, if everyone had the idea of going to a different town for AA then you will be driving to that town only to see your local bankers, cops, mechanics, friends and neighbors!
Santa Barbara is not a small redneck town. You should be fine going to AA there. Also, if everyone had the idea of going to a different town for AA then you will be driving to that town only to see your local bankers, cops, mechanics, friends and neighbors!
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Bless all of you for answering.
BC: You sound like one of the many awesome parents I have worked with the past few years as an instructional assistant.
DGillz: It sounds like you have a very diverse group of people where you live. You're right about Santa Barbara. I should have more faith in my diverse community.
Mark: Thank you for acknowledging that it is [I]tough[I] It is.
Dee: Thank you always.
BC: You sound like one of the many awesome parents I have worked with the past few years as an instructional assistant.
DGillz: It sounds like you have a very diverse group of people where you live. You're right about Santa Barbara. I should have more faith in my diverse community.
Mark: Thank you for acknowledging that it is [I]tough[I] It is.
Dee: Thank you always.
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I don't have a problem with the powerless aspect myself, Melinda
Certainly sounds like me.
I was powerless once alcohol become involved - I never wanted to stop at one or two, and unless I was ill, or circumstances somehow precluded my desire, I always wanted to drink to oblivion....and my life was definitely unmanageable.
D
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.
I was powerless once alcohol become involved - I never wanted to stop at one or two, and unless I was ill, or circumstances somehow precluded my desire, I always wanted to drink to oblivion....and my life was definitely unmanageable.
D
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Hi Melinda,
Well you already know how I feel
You are right, we do tread a VERY fine line when dealing with children and their parents.
BC Boy...It's a shame that more parents are not like you. In my experience, parents can be quite vindictive when they think they are going in to bat for their children. And yes, I hear so many stories from my students about their alcoholic parents.
Back to you Melinda... hope to see you in chat again soon, and hope all is well for you
Well you already know how I feel
You are right, we do tread a VERY fine line when dealing with children and their parents.
BC Boy...It's a shame that more parents are not like you. In my experience, parents can be quite vindictive when they think they are going in to bat for their children. And yes, I hear so many stories from my students about their alcoholic parents.
Back to you Melinda... hope to see you in chat again soon, and hope all is well for you
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A big thank you to Ozgoddess and Dee. Thank you.
I think I've got my answer to two questions:
1. I am powerless against alcohol. It's always there.
2. Teachers can NOT go to AA in their own community. At least in the USA. The laws are stacked against us.
Bless you both.
I think I've got my answer to two questions:
1. I am powerless against alcohol. It's always there.
2. Teachers can NOT go to AA in their own community. At least in the USA. The laws are stacked against us.
Bless you both.
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Bless you everyone!
I thought it was a huge "NO." There is one lovely anonymous person to thank. I put this out there and it went with my gut, it was a huge "No." You have all helped me to keep my career safe and you Dee have helped to keep my alcoholism in check.
Thank you all.................Teachers: Keep everything private: alcoholism, sexuality, etc.
I thought it was a huge "NO." There is one lovely anonymous person to thank. I put this out there and it went with my gut, it was a huge "No." You have all helped me to keep my career safe and you Dee have helped to keep my alcoholism in check.
Thank you all.................Teachers: Keep everything private: alcoholism, sexuality, etc.
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All I would say is that if you're an alcoholic and you find that you cannot stay sober then your drinking/alcoholism may scupper your teaching and career more than going to a meeting of AA. Then again I am from UK so I can't comment on USA.
Going to AA meetings is only really a problem if you go back out drinking again. That is also only assuming anybody there didn't stick to the yellow card ie- "who you see here, what you say here, let it stay here." I imagine it's only the ones who go back out drinking again that pretty much only ever break that anonymity.
You sound like you've already made your decision so that's cool. Just remeber that alcoholism is progressive and a crafty git and will look at ways to keep you drinking. So bear that in mind and you'll be OK. If you ever find yourself going back to a drink then maybe re-evaluate your decision?
Like I say I only have experince in UK (England).
Going to AA meetings is only really a problem if you go back out drinking again. That is also only assuming anybody there didn't stick to the yellow card ie- "who you see here, what you say here, let it stay here." I imagine it's only the ones who go back out drinking again that pretty much only ever break that anonymity.
You sound like you've already made your decision so that's cool. Just remeber that alcoholism is progressive and a crafty git and will look at ways to keep you drinking. So bear that in mind and you'll be OK. If you ever find yourself going back to a drink then maybe re-evaluate your decision?
Like I say I only have experince in UK (England).
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Join Date: May 2010
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I agree with your concerns - i am feeling the same way. i live in a very small community and while AA promotes anonymity, tis ins't always the case. Years ago, while working in a much larger area with mental health clients, one of my clients would inform me of all the people he knew from AA meetings as we made our way around town. I always told him to keep this information to himself but he just couldn't do it. He would whisper though, "Hey, see that guy, he is one of the drunks from AA". Sometimes it would be a person in a sensitive profession such as a local business owner or city employee. You could try AA meetings out of the area. People just aren't very understanding these days. The media loves outing people for being human and in turn destroying lives. However, I'd rather be outed for attending AA than being known as the guy getting loaded at the local bar every night. Its a tough one. Do what is best for you. I also plan on working in the school system as a school counselor.
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I'm a teacher. First, recognizing my powerlessness over alcohol makes me a stronger person, not a weaker one. I don't see how working on becoming a better person could do otherwise than make me a better teacher. As far as the community goes, I think most people understand that alcoholism is not a matter of some moral depravity which disqualifies me from teaching their children. There is a high school teacher here who is entirely open with her students about being an alkie: no problems at all. I do teach - also high school - in a liberal college town, which may make a difference compared to where you are. Best of luck dealing with your fears, which are hopefully unwarranted.
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I am neither a teacher, nor an AA member.
But, my belief is that I need to be cautious to whoever I speak to in real life, about my addiction. People who are not addicts tend to have preconceived ideas about alcoholics.
But, my belief is that I need to be cautious to whoever I speak to in real life, about my addiction. People who are not addicts tend to have preconceived ideas about alcoholics.
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I have been successful in my recovery without AA, so just know there ARE other ways.. however I do find it kind of sad that you're open to the support, but "can't" go.. if you feel like you do want to go to an AA meeting, it might be worth a longer drive to an area outside of where you live for that face to face support. Personally, I saw an addicitons psychologist for 6 months (2x a week), and did lots of homeworks/bibliotherapy as assigned. It was helpful, in my experience.
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Not sure whether this is the best place to get a 'feeling' on what it would be like to be 'found out'. It is a tough one. Teachers working with small kids seem to be subjected to incredibly higher moral/behavioural standards than any other human been on earth.
I do not know whether you are drinking or you are not. However, if you REALLy want to have an idea of the reactions, I would log in a popular mums' forum and say something like this: you are a mum who has discovered that one particular teacher of your son/daughter is alcoholic. You are not sure about how you feel about it, And ask for advice from other mums. This will give you an idea.
Good luck
I do not know whether you are drinking or you are not. However, if you REALLy want to have an idea of the reactions, I would log in a popular mums' forum and say something like this: you are a mum who has discovered that one particular teacher of your son/daughter is alcoholic. You are not sure about how you feel about it, And ask for advice from other mums. This will give you an idea.
Good luck
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