Here it Is
Hannitized
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 353
Here it Is
Why is it easier for me to admit to you that I have a problem than to admit to you that HE has a problem. I have been a lurker here on this portion of the forum taking comfort in the fact, sad as it is, that I have plenty of company.
I have been sober for 2 years and two months and can not STAND being around my husband when he drinks...which is often.
I hate the look and the smell of him drunk....becuase he is me.
There. I said it.
And I will be staying sober today.
I have been sober for 2 years and two months and can not STAND being around my husband when he drinks...which is often.
I hate the look and the smell of him drunk....becuase he is me.
There. I said it.
And I will be staying sober today.
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Congratulations on your sobriety!
Welcome to the other side of recovery (loved ones addiction)!
You (in some form or another) took step one as an alcoholic:
You admitted your powerlessness over alcohol and admitted your life had become unmanageable.
Taking step one from the other side of recovery:
Admitting you are powerless over alcohol and your life has become unmanageable, is a tough step to take - AGAIN.
For me it meant admitting that the marriage was not all that it appeared to be on the outside. It meant admitting that the marriage was not all that I believed it was (fantasy thinking). It meant admitting that my partner was beyond my control, and I had to accept that for my own serenity.
I wanted my A to wake up and smell the coffee! I wanted my A to get with the program and embrace sobriety so we could live happily ever after.
And I really wanted my A to stop drinking so it would stop reminding me how irresponsible my own behavior had been.
I had to forgive myself.
Then I had to forgive my A for not being what I wanted him to be.
Then I began my recovery from the other side of the street..
Welcome to the other side of recovery (loved ones addiction)!
You (in some form or another) took step one as an alcoholic:
You admitted your powerlessness over alcohol and admitted your life had become unmanageable.
Taking step one from the other side of recovery:
Admitting you are powerless over alcohol and your life has become unmanageable, is a tough step to take - AGAIN.
For me it meant admitting that the marriage was not all that it appeared to be on the outside. It meant admitting that the marriage was not all that I believed it was (fantasy thinking). It meant admitting that my partner was beyond my control, and I had to accept that for my own serenity.
I wanted my A to wake up and smell the coffee! I wanted my A to get with the program and embrace sobriety so we could live happily ever after.
And I really wanted my A to stop drinking so it would stop reminding me how irresponsible my own behavior had been.
I had to forgive myself.
Then I had to forgive my A for not being what I wanted him to be.
Then I began my recovery from the other side of the street..
Hannitized
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 353
Originally Posted by Still Waters 
Because you can do something about your problem, but his is totally out of your control?
And Congratulations!
And Congratulations!
Yes.
I ordered the book recommended here- Codependent No More, I believe it is called. I have to get on with it. Lord I hope that book arrives today!!!
Yesterday my mailbox was OPEN and EMPTY and I thought to myself, Dear Lord I hope no one took that book. Today I am thinking that if they did take it, I hope that they need it more than I do. That's really a curse upon them though and I ought to be ashamed!
Thanks!
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