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We Feel

Old 06-12-2010, 04:56 AM
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Hannitized
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We Feel

There was this nest, so low to the ground, too low I knew. My three children have been so excited looking at the baby birds. I have enjoyed watching their industrious parents always busy digging up little worms to feed the babies. This morning I snuck out with my coffee to grab a distant peek at the nest before the crew woke up. The birds were gone from the nest. Further inspection revealed part of the story. One was dead on the ground below the nest. I moved the little body so my children will not see.

I am grateful that I can tell my children that the birds must have flown the nest like they too will some day. The birdies were old enough for this to be a believable story and for that I am grateful. SO why the hell am I crying?

It's ok to cry for a dead baby bird. Emotions change and this will pass. I have not cried in so long although there have been hurts enough to warrant a bucket full of tears. And here I am just broken up over a dead baby bird but still somehow ok.

And I will stay sober again today.
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Old 06-12-2010, 05:26 AM
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Hi Liberty was touched by your post I was on paxil and alcohol for a long time and my emotions were suppresed so bad I went to my own sisters funeral and sat at the front of the church and couldent cry totaly detached.I am of the paxil now and over the withdrwals and seven days sober.Found myself on the net looking at a video of children praying with tears running down my face and actualy tearing up as I write this.It feels good I am not down or depressed I am just glad to be feeling something again.To numb for to long I wish you well on your journey and God bless..........jo
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Old 06-12-2010, 06:21 AM
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There is a saying in the rooms of AA: "The good news is, when you sober up, your emotions come to life again. The bad news is, when you sober up, your emotions come to life again."

Many of us have so totally drowned our emotions in booze and drugs that when we finally start to feel again, we can overreact. Watch yourself, you could bite somebody's head off for an action that calls for just a minor rebuke. I know that happened to me.

The good emotions also come back too though. Part of my sobriety has definitely been getting back in touch with myself, as in the past alcohol numbed me to everything.
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Old 06-12-2010, 06:35 AM
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What a lovely post. I know exactly what you mean when you say its good to 'feel'. I was feeling down last night but I liked it, it was nice to feel something for a change. Makes you feel human.

Thankfully you were sober last night so you were able to get up early and move the dead baby bird. Good work!!
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