Day 3 GAHH
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 176
Day 3 GAHH
Trying to keep my mind focused, and off of the side effects and anxiety. Guess I'll post my story first.
I'm age 23, just graduated in May from a four year with a degree in computer science. I somehow managed a decent gpa, full ride scholarship, and 30ish hours of work a week. I started drinking about 2 years ago, when I moved from a smaller school to a larger 4 year university while switching my major to cs. I also have the most amazing girlfriend in the world (my future wife if I don't screw it up) whom has had to work with me in this long distance relationship while I tried to hide my drinking. She actually doesn't drink at all, so I'm hoping her support will help me if I can actually move back to her.
About my drinking, I started out just drinking a few times every now and then with my buddies, which was okay at first. Then I got to the point where when I did drink, I had to drink so much that I was beyond gone. I started doing stupid things and getting angry sometimes, but never caused any huge problems. My girlfriend has tolerated me through all of this, which is amazing. I'm not sure why I drink, sometimes I think it's boredom. For instance, 3 days ago, I went on a 3 day binge, drinking so much alcohol I have almost no idea exactly how the day played out.
I have NEVER drank and drove, however I am house sitting for a friend and his family (they provided the alcohol, because they knew I liked to drink, but didn't know I had a problem, which I embarrassingly drank every drop they had almost) So at one point and left and went down the road to a local store, and hit one of those telephone lights in the parking lot going about.. 3 mph. Nobody was hurt, but my car is pretty badly damaged and I will have to use my insurance to pay it. I feel like a fool and should have never done something like that.
I decided to quit cold turkey and try to keep my mind focused on the rest of my life. I feel very anxious and almost depressed about not being able to find a job and move back to where my girlfriend is. I am on day three from the binge and have the worst withdrawal symptoms. Night #2 was like hell, I had 5 horrendous and vivid nightmares that woke me up in a cold chilled sweat. I have pain in some of my muscles from the cramps, no matter how much water I consume I still feel shaky, my skin feels itchy, I'm weak, and I cannot eat. (I'm going to try and make myself eat some soup after this)
I just wanted to share my story and get something going that I can update. It's nice to read some of the success stories posted online. I can only thank god that I didn't hurt anyone the other day. From some of the binges I've had I don't even know how I'm alive.
I'm age 23, just graduated in May from a four year with a degree in computer science. I somehow managed a decent gpa, full ride scholarship, and 30ish hours of work a week. I started drinking about 2 years ago, when I moved from a smaller school to a larger 4 year university while switching my major to cs. I also have the most amazing girlfriend in the world (my future wife if I don't screw it up) whom has had to work with me in this long distance relationship while I tried to hide my drinking. She actually doesn't drink at all, so I'm hoping her support will help me if I can actually move back to her.
About my drinking, I started out just drinking a few times every now and then with my buddies, which was okay at first. Then I got to the point where when I did drink, I had to drink so much that I was beyond gone. I started doing stupid things and getting angry sometimes, but never caused any huge problems. My girlfriend has tolerated me through all of this, which is amazing. I'm not sure why I drink, sometimes I think it's boredom. For instance, 3 days ago, I went on a 3 day binge, drinking so much alcohol I have almost no idea exactly how the day played out.
I have NEVER drank and drove, however I am house sitting for a friend and his family (they provided the alcohol, because they knew I liked to drink, but didn't know I had a problem, which I embarrassingly drank every drop they had almost) So at one point and left and went down the road to a local store, and hit one of those telephone lights in the parking lot going about.. 3 mph. Nobody was hurt, but my car is pretty badly damaged and I will have to use my insurance to pay it. I feel like a fool and should have never done something like that.
I decided to quit cold turkey and try to keep my mind focused on the rest of my life. I feel very anxious and almost depressed about not being able to find a job and move back to where my girlfriend is. I am on day three from the binge and have the worst withdrawal symptoms. Night #2 was like hell, I had 5 horrendous and vivid nightmares that woke me up in a cold chilled sweat. I have pain in some of my muscles from the cramps, no matter how much water I consume I still feel shaky, my skin feels itchy, I'm weak, and I cannot eat. (I'm going to try and make myself eat some soup after this)
I just wanted to share my story and get something going that I can update. It's nice to read some of the success stories posted online. I can only thank god that I didn't hurt anyone the other day. From some of the binges I've had I don't even know how I'm alive.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,369
Hi Programmer27
I always encourage everyone to see their Dr...even tho what you describe was pretty much par for the course for me, it's always a good idea to get checked out anyway.
I'm glad you've made such a smart decision now instead of later like I did.
I know you'll find a lot of support and encouragement here.
welcome!
D
I always encourage everyone to see their Dr...even tho what you describe was pretty much par for the course for me, it's always a good idea to get checked out anyway.
I'm glad you've made such a smart decision now instead of later like I did.
I know you'll find a lot of support and encouragement here.
welcome!
D
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
hi programmer and welcome to SR! Glad you posted - it's not easy to admit we have a problem with drinking, so I commend you for that! Things WILL get better and the next time you want to pick up a drink, just think about how you've been feeling the past couple days. Take heart, though: it gets better!!! You can do it!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 83
Welcome! Like many here on this site, you definitely can recover and put this behind you. It's a priceless gift you are giving yourself and the loved ones in your life by starting now. Please read and post. It has helped me immensely.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Wichita KS
Posts: 53
hey what up program, My story played out alot like yours... 22 years old in college, great girlfriend, promising future but unfortunately I looked past too many wake-up calls and lost everything. I to would drink to just get totally wasted and I was really good at it. Please if you really do intend on staying with your girlfriend get all the help you can now, I promise you the pain of not drinking now is nowhere near the pain of knowing that drinking caused the person you love to leave you. Its taking me 7 years since then to wake up and realize just where drinking has gotten me and what it has done. I only wish I would of had somebody sit me down and get through to me just how lucky I was to be where I was at that point in my life and not to ruin it. It is a huge step for you to make it to this site, I found this site a few weeks ago and its helped me through some tough times of wanting to go booze up. Good luck in your efforts to quit
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Savannah, GA
Posts: 24
I decided to finally quit drinking after a few episodes of what you are going through. I thought I was going to shake to death a couple times and I ended up in the ER with severe dehydration, one time in ICU from a bad reaction from alcohol, anti-depressants, and valium. I have always suffered from anxiety too so that made everything much worse (panic, paranoia).
It is good you are taking action while you are still young. If I could take it all back I would have quit back in my 20's too.
It is good you are taking action while you are still young. If I could take it all back I would have quit back in my 20's too.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
each day you'll feel a little stronger and better both physically and mentally. You will approach your work and other problems in a more rational manner and have less anxiety. This is how it works for me....problems no longer seem so huge, because I am thinking clearly and not getting angry and worked up into a frenzy.
I'm a big believer in "relaxing tea" and a good night's sleep, good nutrition and a good vitamin and b-complex....within a couple of weeks, you won't believe how different you will feel..for the better.....
congratulations on a wise decision.
I'm a big believer in "relaxing tea" and a good night's sleep, good nutrition and a good vitamin and b-complex....within a couple of weeks, you won't believe how different you will feel..for the better.....
congratulations on a wise decision.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 19
Hey man. I'm a PhD student in Computer Science and I have been in a very similar position to you.
You're making the right decision to fight the good fight. You can do it. Others are doing the same thing.
You'd be surprised how much sobriety can improve the level of code you can write. For me, it moved me to the next level. (or at least my comments were more coherent and had less f-bombs in it..)
You're making the right decision to fight the good fight. You can do it. Others are doing the same thing.
You'd be surprised how much sobriety can improve the level of code you can write. For me, it moved me to the next level. (or at least my comments were more coherent and had less f-bombs in it..)
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