LookingForMe

For every morning that I woke up angry, frustrated and depressed that I had drank the night before, I thought how amazingly liberating it would feel to wake up just once without having had a drink the night before.

Well this is my second morning (thanks to SR!!) that I have woken up without drinking the night before and it doesn't feel amazingly liberating....it feels kind of blah, kind of like I lost something. HUH?!?

Not really sure how to put words to it but I thought I’d feel so proud, so on top of the world that I FINALLY did it and all I can muster is “yeah; it’s cool…whatever.”

This must be normal but makes absolutely no sense to me. Can anyone turn on the light for me? I truly don't get it...I'm befuddled! (But MOST CERTAINLY NOT even CONSIDERING going back to the wine…just trying to make sense out of my lack of feeling like I’ve made a huge accomplishment.)

As always, thanks for your support!

Toronto68

Looking, this is not a medical opinion, but maybe your body still has the substance in it. you might feel differently after a week goes by. Not every body and mind is the same. From what I have seen, people usually feel impressed or amazed with themselves after one week and two weeks have passed and they stick to their new preoccupations instead of drinking. In fact, sometimes people get a cloud 9 feeling and they need to be careful they don't let that turn into a reason to drink again. It can be either a negative or positive experience that gets the brain to think about how something is missing and then alcohol is the next thing that computes. After a few days, I don't think it is the body craving alcohol but the workings of our mentality seeing it as a solution, whether it is "wise" or not.

Snarf

Early sobriety is a tricky thing, in my experience at least. Different people have different reactions to different things. One thing you must always, ALWAYS keep in mind during early recovery, is that your mind and body are undergoing drastic changes. You have conditioned yourself to function on alcohol for quite a while. When you remove the alcohol, it affects you in various ways. Some people get that "sky high" feeling, some become depressed, or irritable...I went through combinations of all of those. I'd wake up one morning so proud of myself, and the next I would wake up feeling like I had a hangover, even though I hadn't drank the night before!

The book "Under The Influence" by Dr. James R. Milam and Katherine Ketcham helped me a lot with understanding (or trying to at least) what was going on in my head and in my body, both when I was drinking and since I've stopped. There's a sticky over on the Alcoholism forum with excerpts from the book. You may want to check it out. I found it very useful, then I checked the book out from my school's library.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

augustwest

You're likely still detoxing. Also, when i first got clean i was merely abstinent. Many of my thoughts and behaviors were the same, i just wasn't doing drugs or drinking anymore. What we need to recover and find happiness is a personality change and that takes work and time. Take it easy on yourself, but do the work dilligently.

You'll do great!

PaperDolls

Alcohol and getting drunk were my friend. My only friend.
I did miss it at first.
I was so used to using it as a sleep aid, as a therapist, as a coping mechanism, etc.
I didn't know how to act without it.
It WILL get better.
If you continue to feel bad I would suggest getting to a doctor.
And LOTS of meetings. It helps. I promise.

Good luck to you and CONGRATS on 2 days sober. That's awesome!!

Snarf

Agreed. I went to 4 meetings on Day 1, 4 the next day, 3 the next...I filled as much time as I could in early recovery with AA meetings. Not only did it help to be there and away from other temptations, but it also helped to get into some reading.

coming_clean

it took a long time to become an addict....it will take time to fix urself.....

Missymae737

Hi there,

I do remember feeling like I lost my best friend...Early recovery was very hard for me because I had these emotions that were screaming at me to FEEL...I didn't want to feel and wanted to be numb...

So, until I lost everything, and I mean everything, I was faced with, What's next? For me the only thing that hadn't happened was death...So, I chose to live...I have been sober twenty one months, SR saved my life...

Never give up to the fight to live sober, You can do this...
Thinking of you...

Fandy

If you were drinking 1-1.5 bottles of wine a day, that's at least 4-6 glasses (depending on the serving size). wine has a LOT of sugar in it too.....maybe you are just crashing from lack of it and it affects your mood....(it also dehydrates you).

some days are easier than others, if I get a good night's sleep, I am much happier.

try to derive satisfaction from your accomplishment....look at all the $$$ you've saved in 3 days, calories, take a look and see that your eyes are much clearer, you have MORE energy...etc.

LookingForMe

Thanks to each and everyone of you who takes the time to offer support and advice to us newbies...you have no idea how much you help!

Dee74

I think it's true to say physical factors are involved - I was barely able to function for 4 days or so...your body and mind are healing...give them that time

I also think, in the longer term, it's natural to grieve...my relationship with alcohol and drugs was one of the longest relationships of my life - the fact the relationship was toxic didn't change the fact I grieved for it....for a while.

D

Anna

Yes, it took me several days before I began to feel okay.

Be patient with your body and the process it's going through.

Fandy

I remember eating an entire LARGE Cadbury chocolate bar one night, just to feel better.

I had to stockpile cookies and chocolate for about a month....this wore off too as my body evened out....I still have big mood swings, but that is more due to personal problems....and drinking would exacerbate them and cause deeper depression than i already am susceptable to.

I try to be logical...easier said than done some days.