bananagrrrl

It feels hard to tell her that I am firing her, but after our conversation yesterday, it seems hard not to. I lied to her, let her down, etc. She seemed to be like " we will see" I am at fault- I see this. But I don't think we can work together anymore.

I have to stay in AA - it is my lifeline- I found a new sponsor and she has asked that I tell my old sponsor- of course I would do that- but how to word that eludes me.

Anyway, it seems like the prospective new sponsor will have a lot more to offer- Bible based groups, 2 different step study womens's groups and a whole lot more one on one.

Anyway, I can't wait to join the new group. My new sponsor is going to ride me, , bur I need this, maybe not not the fashion that my old sponsor did it.

Wish me luck and give me any advice on letting a sponsor go.

Anna

I hope that this relationship works out well for you.

Snarf

I wish I had some advice for you, but I've never been in this situation. All I can say is that I've found honesty to be the best policy, but honesty peppered with tact and love. I really hope both that conversation and your relationship with your new sponsor and group work out well for you.

I'm in Atlanta as well. Isn't it great to have access to as many AA clubhouses and meetings as there are in this city?

Toronto68

Banana, I suppose it's difficult for anybody not to feel the "fired" feeling at some point in their experience, or some kind of disappointment, but ideally she would see that the work on recovery has to work for you.

PaperDolls

I was just recently let go by my sponsee. She got mad at me and didn't show or call for an appointment. I was hurt and disappointed.

When she finally talked to me and told me what was going on .... I told her I want her to do what ever she needs to do to stay sober. And I mean that. My pride and ego were hurt but it's not about me. You need a sponsor that is the right fit. She'll get over it and move on.

Back in the day I decided to get a new sponsor and instead of telling her I just quit calling and changed groups. Turns out -- I owed an amend. It wasn't easy ... very humbling. I could have avoided it had I done it the right way.

Good luck to you!

augustwest

i suspect it won't be a big deal to your old sponsor

intention

I suspect this would be the case as well.

I would suggest being honest. If this is true for you, perhaps something like this..... "I've realised that I need to make changes in my recovery and keep moving forward in my spiritual journey, so I think it is time for me to change my sponsor. I really appreciate everything you have done for me so far. I have found your help valuable, despite my relapse, so thank you. Hopefully we can still talk from time to time. I would really love to be able to call you if I need to because I really appreciate your input.

Tommyh

I shy away from the word "fire"

TwelveSteps

Your sponsor's most important goal for you should be your staying sober. So I think it's really great that you have already found a new sponsor -- the key here is not that you are leaving the relationship, but that you are moving into a new relationship that you feel will better assist you in your sobriety.

I think if you emphasize that -- not that you are rejecting her, but that you feel the need to transition to a situation that will be more beneficial to your sobriety -- she should react well.

GG