smoke gets in my eyes

You know that petty crap that is really unimportant but it gets on your nerves like ants on a potato chip? Last week it was the butter. I buy unsalted butter. I got into the habit when I was baking a lot. Weeeeeell, Dino didn't want butter on his waffles because I buy the wrong kind of butter. Fine. Whatever. Like there's not enough salt in the waffles to make up for it. As if. And all that.

Considering that the butter was so abhorent to his sensibilities, I have a mystery on my hands. Dino has been gone for a couple of days now (see poem), so I can't ask him this. I know all you folks can do is guess, but hey... I like the way you speculate. Please be as preposterous as possible.


WHY are there little black beard hairs in my butter?

californiacarla

sometimes if i leave butter out my cat licks it and leaves little black hairs on it. Her fur then gets glossy!!!

Maybe my cat snuck out and visited?

I'll go check her coat.

margo

Um...he was experimenting with new ways to moisturize?

Doppelganger

He FAINTED! He opened the wrapper and immediately dehydrated from lack of sodium and collapsed, face down in the butter. It was smushed too, right? Huh? Right?

Jon

You absolutely sure it's not from scraping toast????

Wait!

It's from shaving with the butter knife!!!

(hey, I woulda tried it...)

smoke gets in my eyes

Toast scraping. Like I wouldn't know a little black beard hair if I saw it? AS IF! But shaving with the butterrrrr kniiiiiife.... hmmmmmm......

matters

He was wearing a pair of fuzzy black mittens so he would not leave any finger prints in the butter when he decided to take one last taste before he left.

You guys are tooooo much......LOL
matters

Morning Glory

He just shaved. He really wanted some butter on his sweet roll. He knew he made a fuss over it and was trying to figure out how to use some without you knowing. He stood over the butter staring at it and rubbing is chin thinking up a scheme. He couldn't think of anything so he walked away leaving the forensic evidence in the butter.

matters

Detective??? I thought you were CIA MG!!

smoke gets in my eyes

That's DIA. (D for Duck)

jojo

He purposely shaved over the butter to leave whiskers so that you would remember him fondly while he was gone!!! I think that was very thoughtful of him!

DarkGravity

DOES BUTTER SOOTHE BURNS???
AH HAH! Gotta be from Dino's burned booty!!

Cecilia

EWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!

You got Booty Fur in your butter!!!!

Im not eating anything you cook. LOL

Gabe

The first thing I thought of was that Dino burned his toast and then used your abhorrent, salt-free butter on it.
Then again, he may have run out of shaving cream and lathered up with Land'O Lakes.
If we were playing Clue it would be...
Dino...in the bathroom...with the stick of salt-free butter.
Peace,
Gabe

constant

LOL,

Y'all have me dying lauging.....this was just what I needed!! My daughter keeps asking me what is wrong because I am laughing so hard....THANKS!!!

Constant

smoke gets in my eyes

ROFL!!!!

ow ow ow!!!!

I mean... if you hadn't read the rest of the thread.... think about it.

ooooh... I can't breathe!!! :lol

californiacarla

hmmm, nah, I better not put my two cents in on this one....

........

Ann

My laughter is scaring my cat and even making my husband come running :shakin :lol

I think MG got it with the chin rubbing contemplation. LOL

Rose56

Oh too funny,..........................................
And I know those black beard hairs well, all over the sink...