Feeling anxious and really sad...
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Somewhere cold and flat
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Feeling anxious and really sad...
My life is crumbling around me, I don't know what to do. I've been trying to cope as best I can. I've been reaching out to supportive friends and family, been on here, reading alanon books and Christian books, praying, reading, doing things that I enjoy, making positive decisions and so forth. But I'm still sad and I'm still feeling overwhelmed with emotion. I'm devastated that my family is struggling yet again and we can never overcome our barriers. I feel like there is no hope sometimes. I feel totally lost and confused and have no clue where to go from here. I'm seeing a counselor too that is very good, but still just feeling completely alone and depressed. Hopelessness is not a fun feeling, but when you feel like nothing you do works for your situation or your thought life, that is the way I feel. I wish that I knew what to do and that I could just get out of this enormous hole in my life. I feel very conflicted. Right now, I just want what I wish I could have and I just don't know if it will happen.
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: europe
Posts: 624
I'm sorry you feel this way.
I'm thinking about what you said: "Right now, I just want what I wish I could have and I just don't know if it will happen." and I remember feeling like that for the longest time ever. Now I recognized it as my biggest problem that was keeping me stuck. That changed for me, and I'm not even sure I can explain how. Maybe because I came to the point when I was totally desperate, when I reached my rock bottom, maybe because my worst fears came true. But at this point I can't even understand any more how could I think that and feel that way. As there is no point in what I wished for, what I thought I could or should have, it only matters what reality is. I understood I can't always (or ever, same thing) have what I want, but I can make the best of what I have. It became that simple for me, and so liberating. Like someone has let me in on the biggest secret on life. Since than I've stop agonizing, I still have some bad days, but they are so much different from what they used to be, and now I can see my options clearly and it is so much easier to make choices, like everything has fallen back at its right place. I guess it is all matter of perspective.
I don't know if this helps at all, I just wanted to share and hope it does.
I wish you well
I'm thinking about what you said: "Right now, I just want what I wish I could have and I just don't know if it will happen." and I remember feeling like that for the longest time ever. Now I recognized it as my biggest problem that was keeping me stuck. That changed for me, and I'm not even sure I can explain how. Maybe because I came to the point when I was totally desperate, when I reached my rock bottom, maybe because my worst fears came true. But at this point I can't even understand any more how could I think that and feel that way. As there is no point in what I wished for, what I thought I could or should have, it only matters what reality is. I understood I can't always (or ever, same thing) have what I want, but I can make the best of what I have. It became that simple for me, and so liberating. Like someone has let me in on the biggest secret on life. Since than I've stop agonizing, I still have some bad days, but they are so much different from what they used to be, and now I can see my options clearly and it is so much easier to make choices, like everything has fallen back at its right place. I guess it is all matter of perspective.
I don't know if this helps at all, I just wanted to share and hope it does.
I wish you well
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Somewhere cold and flat
Posts: 148
Originally Posted by sesh 
I'm sorry you feel this way.
I'm thinking about what you said: "Right now, I just want what I wish I could have and I just don't know if it will happen." and I remember feeling like that for the longest time ever. Now I recognized it as my biggest problem that was keeping me stuck. That changed for me, and I'm not even sure I can explain how. Maybe because I came to the point when I was totally desperate, when I reached my rock bottom, maybe because my worst fears came true. But at this point I can't even understand any more how could I think that and feel that way. As there is no point in what I wished for, what I thought I could or should have, it only matters what reality is. I understood I can't always (or ever, same thing) have what I want, but I can make the best of what I have. It became that simple for me, and so liberating. Like someone has let me in on the biggest secret on life. Since than I've stop agonizing, I still have some bad days, but they are so much different from what they used to be, and now I can see my options clearly and it is so much easier to make choices, like everything has fallen back at its right place. I guess it is all matter of perspective.
I don't know if this helps at all, I just wanted to share and hope it does.
I wish you well
I'm thinking about what you said: "Right now, I just want what I wish I could have and I just don't know if it will happen." and I remember feeling like that for the longest time ever. Now I recognized it as my biggest problem that was keeping me stuck. That changed for me, and I'm not even sure I can explain how. Maybe because I came to the point when I was totally desperate, when I reached my rock bottom, maybe because my worst fears came true. But at this point I can't even understand any more how could I think that and feel that way. As there is no point in what I wished for, what I thought I could or should have, it only matters what reality is. I understood I can't always (or ever, same thing) have what I want, but I can make the best of what I have. It became that simple for me, and so liberating. Like someone has let me in on the biggest secret on life. Since than I've stop agonizing, I still have some bad days, but they are so much different from what they used to be, and now I can see my options clearly and it is so much easier to make choices, like everything has fallen back at its right place. I guess it is all matter of perspective.
I don't know if this helps at all, I just wanted to share and hope it does.
I wish you well
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,294
I'm going to work with your stated framework (Christian) and challenge you with some questions, here: This is meant as an exercise in lateral thinking, not as a statement of belief or such. I am not engaging in a debate on what your chosen belief system may be; I am simply working with your stated value framework.
Y'know, when the Christian God made His Creation, He made a sophisticated, beautiful, elegant, perfectly planned world, including humans and a perfect place for them to live: the Garden of Eden.
But then the all-knowing God also did something else peculiar: He gave humans FREE WILL.
So what's the very first generation of humans do? They screw up. They disobey the directive and eat from the tree, and cause themselves to become in a state where they cannot inhabit Eden, anymore, because they are now tainted.
So what's God do? This says a lot, here, about the Christian God:
The Christian God then lets the plan continue instead of stopping everything in its tracks. He then still allows free will, and works out another plan that envelops the screw-up. He doesn't go back and force a fix; he goes forward and works through the screw-up and the changes due to it. His original plan is literally shot to Hell, but He rolls with the new plan.
He, if you will, takes what his own Creation did with its free will, and changes course, and rolls with it.
You have to ask yourself why. Why did an all-knowing God make a world he knew would screw up? Why didn't he stop everything when humans did screw up, and make it right?
Why did He let their free will continue, knowing they would screw up again and again?
Why didn't he find reason to stop the screw-ups?
Maybe He knows something we don't know, like, there's something past our mistakes that will end up creating something good, even better, from the mistakes.
And this is only the very first example of this the Christian God, in His own instructional manual.
Food for thought.
CLMI
Y'know, when the Christian God made His Creation, He made a sophisticated, beautiful, elegant, perfectly planned world, including humans and a perfect place for them to live: the Garden of Eden.
But then the all-knowing God also did something else peculiar: He gave humans FREE WILL.
So what's the very first generation of humans do? They screw up. They disobey the directive and eat from the tree, and cause themselves to become in a state where they cannot inhabit Eden, anymore, because they are now tainted.
So what's God do? This says a lot, here, about the Christian God:
The Christian God then lets the plan continue instead of stopping everything in its tracks. He then still allows free will, and works out another plan that envelops the screw-up. He doesn't go back and force a fix; he goes forward and works through the screw-up and the changes due to it. His original plan is literally shot to Hell, but He rolls with the new plan.
He, if you will, takes what his own Creation did with its free will, and changes course, and rolls with it.
You have to ask yourself why. Why did an all-knowing God make a world he knew would screw up? Why didn't he stop everything when humans did screw up, and make it right?
Why did He let their free will continue, knowing they would screw up again and again?
Why didn't he find reason to stop the screw-ups?
Maybe He knows something we don't know, like, there's something past our mistakes that will end up creating something good, even better, from the mistakes.
God didn't sit around, fixated on the way Eden was supposed to be,
obsessing on how to fix it and force it back into its original, intended state,
did He?
Once it was broken, he adapted to work with the new reality.
obsessing on how to fix it and force it back into its original, intended state,
did He?
Once it was broken, he adapted to work with the new reality.
And this is only the very first example of this the Christian God, in His own instructional manual.
Food for thought.
CLMI
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
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WOW Catlover, what a beautiful explanation. If you don't mind, I would love to 'adopt' this explanation for some of the sponsees I work with.
WOW
(((((praiseHIM))))) I know you are confused right now, however, read here, keep putting one foot forward at a time, and stay in the NOW. Your answers will come. Many of us have been where you are now.
I know for me, the 12 steps of AA and Alanon helped me tremendously to first work on me, and by working on me, gave me new hope and perspective on my life.
Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing, as we do care very much.
Love and hugs,
WOW
(((((praiseHIM))))) I know you are confused right now, however, read here, keep putting one foot forward at a time, and stay in the NOW. Your answers will come. Many of us have been where you are now.
I know for me, the 12 steps of AA and Alanon helped me tremendously to first work on me, and by working on me, gave me new hope and perspective on my life.
Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing, as we do care very much.
Love and hugs,
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,294
And here's a cartoon version of the same:
God's sitting in the middle of a black Void, on a stool. He has on white robes and a long white braid hanging down his back. On a stand, in front of him is a blank canvas. He holds a paint brush in his hand. By his side, there is a pot of pristine, pure white paint.
God paints a painting. Using pure, untainted white.
Second scene:
Same thing, but this time the Devil, a tall, gnarly red dude skinnier than a meth head, with knobby knees and elbows and an undulating, flicking pointy tail saunters by. He has black beady eyes, a vampire like hair line of slicked back black hair, matched by a pointy overly thin Hitler 'stache, and goatee that makes a long point all the way to his scarlet naval. He says, "Hey God, look over there!" and when God turns his head, Satan dumps some pigment in God's perfect white pot of paint. God stirs the paint in that part of the pot, now tainted with pigment, a color. Every time God turns around, darn ol' Devil pulls this stunt, tainting the formerly white paint. The result is all different colors, and some really, really dark and ugly ones like black, murky brown, puke green, bile yellow. God uses them all, along with the scarlet reds, canary yellows, emerald greens, and such.
In the end, which painting is better?
CLMI
God's sitting in the middle of a black Void, on a stool. He has on white robes and a long white braid hanging down his back. On a stand, in front of him is a blank canvas. He holds a paint brush in his hand. By his side, there is a pot of pristine, pure white paint.
God paints a painting. Using pure, untainted white.
Second scene:
Same thing, but this time the Devil, a tall, gnarly red dude skinnier than a meth head, with knobby knees and elbows and an undulating, flicking pointy tail saunters by. He has black beady eyes, a vampire like hair line of slicked back black hair, matched by a pointy overly thin Hitler 'stache, and goatee that makes a long point all the way to his scarlet naval. He says, "Hey God, look over there!" and when God turns his head, Satan dumps some pigment in God's perfect white pot of paint. God stirs the paint in that part of the pot, now tainted with pigment, a color. Every time God turns around, darn ol' Devil pulls this stunt, tainting the formerly white paint. The result is all different colors, and some really, really dark and ugly ones like black, murky brown, puke green, bile yellow. God uses them all, along with the scarlet reds, canary yellows, emerald greens, and such.
In the end, which painting is better?
CLMI
Persevere, Never give up!
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Stellenbosch, South Africa
Posts: 882
Originally Posted by praiseHim
My life is crumbling around me, I don't know what to do. I've been trying to cope as best I can. But I'm still sad and I'm still feeling overwhelmed with emotion. I'm devastated that my family is struggling yet again and we can never overcome our barriers. I feel like there is no hope sometimes. I feel totally lost and confused and have no clue where to go from here. I wish that I knew what to do and that I could just get out of this enormous hole in my life...
In the greatest difficulties, in the heaviest trials, in the deepest poverty and necessities, He has never failed me; but because I was enabled by His grace to trust Him He has always appeared for my help. I delight in speaking well of His name
George Muller
When life knocks you to your knees, and it will, why, get up! If it knocks you to your knees again, as it will, well, isn't that the best position from which to pray?
Anonymous
Were you to simply remain in God's presence, that would be a great help to you, supporting you in your troubles and helping you to bear them patiently. Be sure that God is more ready than ever to welcome you into his arms, and that as your distress increases so does his mercy towards you increase and abound.
John Baptist de La Salle
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Virginia
Posts: 685
Hi PraiseHim.. I'm sorry you're in a slump, and I hope you feel better soon.
You mentioned doing all of these things.. are you exercising too? That is one of the most amazing mood boosters! If you aren't, I'd highly encourage you to start slowly.. and just see how much it helps!
You mentioned doing all of these things.. are you exercising too? That is one of the most amazing mood boosters! If you aren't, I'd highly encourage you to start slowly.. and just see how much it helps!
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