One of the coolest things about being sober
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 25
One of the coolest things about being sober
...is not having to see the same person you buy booze from again.
I was an everyday beer drinker, so every night I would head to a gas station to pick up beers. I would sometimes go to a liquor store or grocery store, but it was pretty much an everyday chore, regardless of where I would go.
Those plastic 16 oz beer bottles they have were my favorite, so most of the time I would go with those. However, I was quite embarrassed with bringing about 9 of those to the register...Therefore, I would often go to more than one store; Sometimes three different gas stations to get everything I needed for the evening.
Whether I was buying singles or a 12 pack, and whether it was a gas station or liquor store; I have seen most of these clerks in my town many, many, many times. I hid my problem from friends and family well, so it was kind of awkward knowing that all of these strangers knew my dirty, little secret.
I remember being at a liquor store with a friend of mine, who was visiting from out of town. When we came up to check-out, the guy said "Oh, I don't need to see your ID, I've seen you in here so many times."
It was quite embarrassing that this happened in front of my friend; But the more embarrassing thing, was that I didn't realize how many times that this guy had been working while I was buying beer there. I guess it all just becomes a big blur at a certain point. I had a similar situation happen once while buying beer at Wal-Mart, although I was alone that time.
It was just such a nerve-wracking thing to buy booze everynight:
-You have the same people ringing you up over and over again and knowing what you are about to go do
-You are worried you may bump into someone you may know
-You see a group of people on a Saturday night buying a 12 pack to split among themselves and maybe enjoy a movie, while you are buying that same 12pack to go drink all by yourself
-etc.
Anyways, I am currently on Day 29 or 30 (stopped counting a few days ago), and just thought about all this randomly today.
It is a very refreshing feeling knowing that if I ever see any of those faces behind the register again, it will be because I am buying a Gatorade or paying for gas.
Good luck and well wishes to anyone else fighting the fight.
I was an everyday beer drinker, so every night I would head to a gas station to pick up beers. I would sometimes go to a liquor store or grocery store, but it was pretty much an everyday chore, regardless of where I would go.
Those plastic 16 oz beer bottles they have were my favorite, so most of the time I would go with those. However, I was quite embarrassed with bringing about 9 of those to the register...Therefore, I would often go to more than one store; Sometimes three different gas stations to get everything I needed for the evening.
Whether I was buying singles or a 12 pack, and whether it was a gas station or liquor store; I have seen most of these clerks in my town many, many, many times. I hid my problem from friends and family well, so it was kind of awkward knowing that all of these strangers knew my dirty, little secret.
I remember being at a liquor store with a friend of mine, who was visiting from out of town. When we came up to check-out, the guy said "Oh, I don't need to see your ID, I've seen you in here so many times."
It was quite embarrassing that this happened in front of my friend; But the more embarrassing thing, was that I didn't realize how many times that this guy had been working while I was buying beer there. I guess it all just becomes a big blur at a certain point. I had a similar situation happen once while buying beer at Wal-Mart, although I was alone that time.
It was just such a nerve-wracking thing to buy booze everynight:
-You have the same people ringing you up over and over again and knowing what you are about to go do
-You are worried you may bump into someone you may know
-You see a group of people on a Saturday night buying a 12 pack to split among themselves and maybe enjoy a movie, while you are buying that same 12pack to go drink all by yourself
-etc.
Anyways, I am currently on Day 29 or 30 (stopped counting a few days ago), and just thought about all this randomly today.
It is a very refreshing feeling knowing that if I ever see any of those faces behind the register again, it will be because I am buying a Gatorade or paying for gas.
Good luck and well wishes to anyone else fighting the fight.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Congrats on your sobriety Atman !
I'm not much of a day counter either, I can relate to all the uneasiness of constantly buying booze endlessly
......I pass by one of the two liquor stores (I used to buy at every week) on my way to work every day. It's the best feeling in the world knowing I'm not having to head in there and schlep over another 70 bucks a week. Today I went down to the local bike shop and bought a nice pair of biking shorts.
That would've been the absolute last thing I would've done several months ago !
You hang in there, my friend
Stay Strong
.
I'm not much of a day counter either, I can relate to all the uneasiness of constantly buying booze endlessly
......I pass by one of the two liquor stores (I used to buy at every week) on my way to work every day. It's the best feeling in the world knowing I'm not having to head in there and schlep over another 70 bucks a week. Today I went down to the local bike shop and bought a nice pair of biking shorts.
That would've been the absolute last thing I would've done several months ago !
You hang in there, my friend
Stay Strong
.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
Originally Posted by Atman 
-You see a group of people on a Saturday night buying a 12 pack to split among themselves and maybe enjoy a movie, while you are buying that same 12pack to go drink all by yourself
-etc.
-etc.
Oh boy did this ring a bell with me. Yes, this happened every Saturday to me too. I also remember times at parties or camping when I would make a beer run with a non-alcoholic friend or family member.
The most recent time my significant other's brother was treating for the whole group of jolly campers. Once we arrived at the store he grabbed a 24 pack of beer and started for the cash register. I remember thinking, "24 beers for eight people?!" A sense of panic set in as we drove way back to the campsite in the middle of nowhere.
Snarf Snarf
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: ATL
Posts: 835
I hear ya, Atman. I felt like I was buddies with the guys at the gas station where I used to buy beer. I remember sometimes walking up to the counter with a case and a few 22 ozers, and the clerk saying something like, "You having a party?" And I'm like, "Nah, man. It's just Wednesday. Chilling at home." And I did that a lot. The first few weeks after I stopped drinking, the guy would always ask, "You don't need beer?" And I'd say, "No sir, I do not." And the fact that I don't is an absolute miracle to me.
Great work on 29 (or 30) days without a drink! Life can be pretty cool, can't it?
Great work on 29 (or 30) days without a drink! Life can be pretty cool, can't it?
...than never
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Coast USA
Posts: 152
I totally agree, Atman. I am so happy to not have to get on my bike, ride the three blocks to the liquor store, pretend to make small talk with the guy who works there and run the gauntlet of spare-change artists on the sidewalk. Oh, and leave my money there, almost forgot that. Plus, plenty of days one visit per day wasn't enough and I had to go back, sometimes minutes before they closed, and do the whole little routine again, feeling like **** for being a little cog in the liquor industry machine.
I have not seen the inside of a liquor store now for 43 days and it's been like being let out of a cage. It just may be the biggest factor of all keeping me sober because I hate that liquor store. Hate it, hate it, hate it. Anytime I feel like drinking, I just have to remember that ugly place and I get a blast of sober strength.
Thanks for the reminder!
I have not seen the inside of a liquor store now for 43 days and it's been like being let out of a cage. It just may be the biggest factor of all keeping me sober because I hate that liquor store. Hate it, hate it, hate it. Anytime I feel like drinking, I just have to remember that ugly place and I get a blast of sober strength.
Thanks for the reminder!
Guest
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Yes, I can relate to that. I remember I used to feel really paranoid walking round the shop to go buy my booze. I had to use the local shop as I lost my driving license through drink driving so I was a 'regular' round there. They still tried to rip me off on occassions too. When I was sober and going to pick up booze I would feel pretty ashamed and embarassed and hoped I wouldn't bump into anyone I knew but when I was already drunk then I didn't care. There will have been many times when I don't even remeber buying booze from the shop because I would have been in blackout.
That shop had no morals. I used to go round there at 7.00am steaming drunk and they would serve me super-strength (9%) lager. Also they used to open bottles for me so I could drink as soon as I left the shop. So I would be swigging alco-pops at 8.00am after a real heavy binge. They ain't seen me for over 11 months now and I am glad of that.
Man, they witnessed me steaming drunk and off my head many times. Even dropped a wrap of Cocaine on the counter once too. Never said a word.
Did I ever look happy and at peace. errr No. I was tortured and addled. Total alkie and I knew it.
Peace
That shop had no morals. I used to go round there at 7.00am steaming drunk and they would serve me super-strength (9%) lager. Also they used to open bottles for me so I could drink as soon as I left the shop. So I would be swigging alco-pops at 8.00am after a real heavy binge. They ain't seen me for over 11 months now and I am glad of that.
Man, they witnessed me steaming drunk and off my head many times. Even dropped a wrap of Cocaine on the counter once too. Never said a word.
Did I ever look happy and at peace. errr No. I was tortured and addled. Total alkie and I knew it.
Peace
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
Atman thx for sharing. You basically wrote my story of drinking. I cringed at shopping for booze and hated it. Went all over town to so many different stores so people didn't see me every day. I would buy a few handles of rum and sadly.....it was all for me.
Worst was when I bought booze and the clerk said....oh wow you are having some party huh. In my head I was thinking....yeah and I am the only guest at this daily party.
Worst was when I bought booze and the clerk said....oh wow you are having some party huh. In my head I was thinking....yeah and I am the only guest at this daily party.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,237
Yes I can relate too!! We have about 4 cold beer and wine stores in my neighbourhood, I would rotate them, so the girls working at them wouldn't see me the same day/night picking up more wine... I drive by them now..No stopping!!! I'm sure they wonder what happened to me I was a daily fixture there...
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 83
Here Here Atman!
I hear you on every account of this story, sometimes I was afraid to goto certain stores twice in one evening! The panic, anxiety, fear of who's working at the gas station, will they realize I come everyday (twice a day)? Oh so nice to be rid of that!
Lithobid
Day 10
I hear you on every account of this story, sometimes I was afraid to goto certain stores twice in one evening! The panic, anxiety, fear of who's working at the gas station, will they realize I come everyday (twice a day)? Oh so nice to be rid of that!
Lithobid
Day 10
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 174
Haha! Totally relate. I remember when Tesco brought in the self-service checkouts I was so happy. The same person would come over to verify I was over 18 every morning but I didn't have to talk to them so it was all good.
Then when you're too embarrassed to go back to the same shop and go somewhere further away later that day when you've run out, or if you're just wasted and you don't care (as neo said) how much of a total alco you look like.
When I look back on these things, I wonder how I was ever *unsure* if I was an alcoholic or not...
Then when you're too embarrassed to go back to the same shop and go somewhere further away later that day when you've run out, or if you're just wasted and you don't care (as neo said) how much of a total alco you look like.
When I look back on these things, I wonder how I was ever *unsure* if I was an alcoholic or not...
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 590
All too familiar. I had about 4 different places to buy on my way home from work and would try to stagger them out so I didn't look as bad to each. This one clerk at a certain store always seemed to be the one to check me out. I dreaded seeing her there when I walked in but it of course didn't stop me. I'd even pick a different aisle but she seemed to always take notice me as I walked out. It is strange how paranoid and shameful this disease caused me to feel.
I kind of like seeing her now since I'm not buying anything that causes me shame. I too am thankful for these simple pleasures that we get from being sober. Thanks for reminding me.
I kind of like seeing her now since I'm not buying anything that causes me shame. I too am thankful for these simple pleasures that we get from being sober. Thanks for reminding me.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,760
I remember, oh how humiliating, being the first person waiting for the drive thru to open at 8am to get a bottle of wine to quell the shakes. I used to wonder what on earth they thought of me, buying wine that early in the day... and then coming back at least once more during the day for more wine.
I still go there sometimes to get cigs or a lottery ticket. Sometimes they'll automatically go to the wine cooler when they see my car, then I have to tell them "no wine for me!"
How could I have lived that way?? I feel - retroactively - like such a loser... At least it's in the past now, no more stupid sh!t for me these days.
I still go there sometimes to get cigs or a lottery ticket. Sometimes they'll automatically go to the wine cooler when they see my car, then I have to tell them "no wine for me!"
How could I have lived that way?? I feel - retroactively - like such a loser...
At least it's in the past now, no more stupid sh!t for me these days. 
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